That is a beautiful paradox straight out of the Biblical idea of being "born again" or "in losing one's life to find it." When we work at our Twelve Steps, the old life of guzzling and fuzzy thinking, and all that goes with it, gradually dies, and we acquire a different and a better way of life. As our shortcomings are removed, one life of us dies, and another life of us lives. We in AA die to live.
c. 2003 AAWS, Experience, Strength and Hope, p. 156
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
For me, my experience in Recovery is that I get to live for the first time, ever. My life before Recovery was a life of "Faking a life" thought I had to fake a life for myself, from nothing. If I looked like I had a life then I would be seen as a person that had a life. Made sense a long time ago.
And when Recovery began on the inside for me, there was so much tremendous sadness inside that I had never really been living a real life, just a fake life.
Over the years, with all the Gratitude for this Progam, there is a sense of missing most of my life. And have to stay in Gratitude for what I do have, not what I didn't have.
Out of the ashes, we rise, and are and present and accounted for today, that is all that counts!
Loved the Post Jen, and a belated Happy 6 months to you.
"More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it. "
Amazing that I no longer have to be an actor, I was never really fooling anyone anyway!
Love you, my friend.
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
I don't know at what point it changed, but it did. The fun ended and I drank anyway. And Then all the times i drank because I had to. U just think your living. How we deprive ourselfs in everything except booze. Then AA **not just sober ** How to live a full life without booze. I stumbled and fell and stayed down for a long time. How can you live the good days of AA and go back to the old life? WE just had a meeting on second chances. Guess i'm still thinking of it. What wonderful buit in forgetters we have !! I knew the good life at the time and still got sucked deeper and deeper in the alcohol. I GUESS SOME OF US ARE REAL LUCKY TO GET MUTIPLE CHANCES AT OUR NEW LIFE.
LET GO LET GOD
SURRENDER AND NEW LIFE ***WOW !! HOW WELL IT WORKS
