> these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism
> Website
> (frightening, isn't it!)
>
> Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really
> asked!!!!!.
>
>
>
>
>
> Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
> grow?(UK)
>
> A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
> them
> die.
>
>
>
> Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
>
> A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
>
>
>
> Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad
> tracks? (Sweden)
>
> A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
>
>
>
> Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
>
> A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
>
>
>
> Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
> contact
> for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
>
> A: Let's not touch this one.
>
>
>
> Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a > list
> of
> them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
>
> A: What did your last slave die of?
>
>
>
> Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? > (USA )
>
> A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
> Ca-na-da
> is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the  hippo

racing

    > is
> every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
>
>
>
> Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
>
> A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here > and
> we'll send the rest of the directions.
>
>
>
> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
>
> A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>
>
>
> Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
>
> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,  which
> is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
>
> night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come
> naked.
>
>
>
> Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
>
> A: No, WE don't stink.
>
>
>
> Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.  Can

you

    > sell it in Canada? (USA)
>
> A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
>
>
>
> Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
> population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
>
> A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
>
>
>
> Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
>
> A: Only at Thanksgiving.
>
>
>
> Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
> round?(Germany)
>
> A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is
> illegal.
>
>
>
> Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
> name.
> It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
>
> A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the

brains

    > of
> anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by
>
> spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
>
>
>
> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
>
> A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
>

>