We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. "Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?" As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47
I was always fascinated with the study of scientific principles. I was emotionally and physically distant from people while I pursued Absolute Knowledge. God and spirituality were meaningless academic exercises. I was a modern man of science, knowledge was my Higher Power. Given the right set of equations, life was merely another problem to solve. Yet my inner self was dying from my outer man's solution to life's problems and the solution was alcohol. In spite of my intelligence, alcohol became my Higher Power. It was through the unconditional love which emanated from A.A. people and meetings that I was able to discard alcohol as my Higher Power. The great void was filled. I was no longer lonely and apart from life. I had found a true power greater than myself, I had found God's love. There is only one equation which really matters to me now: God is in A.A.
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
FILLING THE VOIDWe needed to ask ourselves but one short question. "Do I nowbelieve, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greaterthan myself?" As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or iswilling to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on hisway.
_________rosie_________when i first got here i wanted NOTHING 2 do w/god...any of that "god stuff" to me was a waste........thats for the afterlife i thought.....on earth?? i as SURE i was alone, on my own....so i had to use the PROGRAM as my hp.....and gradually i began to see that there IS something higher than me and it is WITHIN.....but for me 2, i had to "see the nail holes" to belive....the spoken word, or anything that i could not SEE/ FEEL/ TOUCH....most of all EXPERIENCE...i did not believe.....i believed NOTHING i heard and only half of what i saw, i was that hardened by the lies, broken promises i received....and prayers that went unanswered becuz of who knows why????? so i had no belief in anything outside of me.....HOWEVER.....i was WILLING.....OPEN.....HONEST as i offered up the openess/ willingness.......that carried me
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, . God and spirituality were meaninglessacademic exercises. I was a modern man of science, knowledge wasmy Higher Power. . Yet my inner self was dying from my outerman's solution to life's problems and the solution was alcohol.
There is only one equation which really matters to me now: God is inA.A.
______rosie_______to me god stuff was a waste....worry about it when i die!!! but now i realize that the hand of the darkness got me so sick....ONLY the hand of the light is going to make me well......i was using and abusing alcohol to numb my pain, to escape to a happier way......it was letting me down BIG time.....the next day i was hung over with not only the problem and emptyness, but with a hangover to boot......there HAD to be another way---there was!!! it was the TWELVE steps------ALL of the 12steps and its suggestions..............good share, doll.....hugs/ rosie
