I have let myself down and had a drink yesterday after hearing that my funding for rehad was refused (no excuse) I plan to throw myself back into AA and knuckle down to working the steps. I feel awful, ashamed, guilty, remorseful and full of fear. Will keep posting on this site to let people know how I am doing I pray that the door has finally stopped swinging for me and I can make yesterday the last time. Because I really dont want this anymore I never want to feel how I do taday ever again, I must remember that.
The main thing is you are back, and going to go a meeting, thats what counts, sorry about the Rehab. but if the funding is not there, thats the way, it is. You can keep looking for some other Rehabs, if you think you need to do that. You are the only one that knows the answer to that. Have you checked out any State Funded Rehabs?
We are here, not going anywhere. When you go to your meeting today, my suggestion would be just to talk about it, see if you can get a sponsor, that might make things go a little smoother.
It is not easy, but is Simple,
you can private message me if you want, and I'll get your telephone number and give you a call if you want.
One good thing about AA, it'll sure take the fun right outta drinking, huh!!
So, now, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start over. Go do some service work or do something for someone else, that's sure to get you out of "self".
And remember, nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake.
Glad you didn't stay out.
Lots of hugs!
-- Edited by Doll at 15:53, 2006-02-02
__________________
* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
So sorry about your slip and not being able to get into rehab. I mean really if you think about it your taking a short cut by going to meetings because when you get to a rehab,that is what they are going to tell you to do anyway. I had a 2 beer slip 18 months ago,it was a wake up call to me to get back to basics and throw myself into AA. Good luck and ((((((((((huggys)))))))))
Trudi, Sorry you didn't get into rehab. I don't think things happen by mistake and maybe you just weren't meant to get sober in rehab, you said you did it in AA before, you can do it again.I'm glad you are here and please keep checking in, reading the experience, strength and hope here...and sharing with us.You are a part of the MIP family now. You know you need meetings and that's where your strength lays.You and your children are in my prayers.
trudi, i have been there--done that (slips) when i do??? i do step 4 to see WHY....what triggerd me to drink???? what was i feeling????? i really work the steps on what i was feeling and what may have triggered me to have to "escape---numb out" with alcohol.....
i do not beat myself up, i just tell myself "ok, we goofed up, so we keep trying...and NEVER NEVER do i want to give up on ME....i resolve to hunker down with meetings......working the program......
i have had my share of slips, thank god, i didn't get drunk, but i DID run to a beer or wine cooler a couple of times rather than to my sponser and a meet on a couple of occasions......
that is why they call it PROGRESS rather than perfection..........my best friend, hasn't gotten drunk or even high in 20 years, but she confessed to me and HER group that she HAS had a drink on occasion!!!!!! i asked her "what did u do when u had that drink???" and she said that she works the steps....gets down to what her feelings were when she did it, gets w/her sponser, steps up on the meets, etc........and the MAIN thing is NEVER NEVER NEVER give up on yourself!!! keep fighting the enemy.....fight him with the program/ with god/ with ALL u can!!!!!! love and accept yourself as a human being that is "perfectly imperfect" and when temptation hits????? just forgive yourself and keep trying and keep working on and sticking with the program and taking care of YOU!!!!! ...hugs/ rosie
