Where do I start. I Hope you guys do not object to me posting on here given the distance involved. Big day for me on Friday, had my customary cans of lager (8 on Thursday) the night before, started the day as usual: slow, groggy, no headache..and something changed. I started searching the web, googling alcoholic, am I an alcoholic? etc. Found a questionnaire, answered yes to nearly all the questions. That was that, I am an alcoholic. Fooled myself for years that other people had problems, "Hardly George Best, not pouring Vodka on my Shredded Wheat yet am I!" "I only drink beer, coloured water, get to the gym most days sweat it out..." I`m sure you guys have heard it all before and said it to yourself often enough. Well for me I reached a decision on Friday, not even sure how I arrived at it, no Eureka moment, drinking just had to stop. Sitting here, mug of tea, watching Elizabeth 1st, kids in bed, Wife sat on other setee, feeling good at the decision made. Hardest bit? Admission to my Wife with the absolute conviction and determination that despite the fact we have a fairly good life it could and should be better, for us and the kids. So that`s it for now, just thought I`d share things with the forum, found it yesterday, cautiously appraised the content and posters, wanted to say Hello.
My biggest regret and sadness is the wasted years, I have a 12 yr old, 10 yr old and 4yr old. They probably think of me as a great Dad, I`ve never missed anything they`ve ever done, I`m always involved, supportive etc, never "lost it" through drinking, I have never appeared to be drunk to them. However, in comparison to my virtually tea total wife I`ll have a fraction of the memories she`ll have of the kids cumulative 26 years, as so many of mine have been fuzzy.
Also, I`ve begun to realise that I`ll never be a social drinker, summer time barbecue, I don`t think I`ll be able to just have 2-3 bottles of Bud and leave it at that..that saddens me.
I`m setting myself a target, a month without drink, not sure how I`ll feel if I don`t quite make it. Does it fell like day zero again?
P.S. George Best, fabulous football player (soccer)
You'll be surprised to find that we have a few fine gents from your side of the pond on our site- Cabbageheadchris and Badger( to name a couple). Haven't seen posts of late from Badger, sure hope he's still hanging in there. We also see posts from India, and a few other countries.
There are quite a few of us who, somehow, managed to keep family and job intact, in spite of our need to pour the brew down as much and as often as possible. We did sacrifice things though, as you have mentioned.
I also know that my health couldn't have survived much longer at my rate of consumption. I do believe that my liver was starting to send me little messages, after 30 years of averaging 6 to 9 drinks on most days.
Hang around here, and you will learn a great deal more about alcoholism, and alcoholics.
I'm glad you're here. I hope your journey thru sobriety is as awesome for you as mine is for me. Keep coming here, keep posting.......You're in my prayers........
Jen, alkie in Redneckville, USA
-- Edited by Doll at 18:34, 2006-01-30
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
Well it sounds like you have come to the right Place! There is a saying that A.A. can ruin your drinking. I hope it does. Sounds like you have made a decision, you can find the Book of Alcoholics Anoyomous here on line, (go back a few pages and see if you can find a Post called "Links" One the the member here, Amanda Posted most of the AA websites that you can just click into the site, and you are there. There is so much information on those sites.
There is another person on this forum that lives Europe, Franklin is his name and if you go back and read some of his Post, I think you might find you have a lot in common, a lot of simalaries came up in my memory, with you Post, thinking back to his first Posting, and then here with us, he is doing really great.
I wish you the Very, Very Best, and again WELCOME,
Toni
P.S. The "Links Post was made a little over a week ago, so scroll thru the pages, I have this new DSL, and I cannot look it up for you right now, or I would. (I'll submit this Post, and then I'll go back and find it for you, be right back.
I looked all over the dang map and I cain't find UK nowhere in Texas. Are you sure you spelled that right?
Nowhere in AA does it say you have to lose everything and wind up on skid-road to make it here or say you are a member.
The sad part is, a lot of us had to do all that and more.
If you are sincere in your decision that you are poweless over alcohol, that your life is unmanagable then, you stand a good chance at staying sober.
I would suggest you got to a lot of meetings, get yourself a Big Book, a 12 & 12 Book and get a sponsor.
Addedly, your wife might check out Alanon and pehaps Alateen for your 12 year old.
When we become involved in AA a lot of powerful changes start happening and if everyone in our immediate family is envolved in the process then, it is usually a smoother transition.
hi, welcome to the board, and to sobriety, and a better life.
remember a month is made up of 30 days,,, lived one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. If a month gets to look too long for you,,, a minute might look more manageable.
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Welcome Pauly....I'm so glad you have found MIP and the wonderful thing is that distance doesn't matter on the net. Also in AA it doesn't matter if you are a skid row drunk or a gentleman drunk...we are all the same...just drunks staying sober one day at a time.I have learned I can't do much about the past, but I can do something about today.
Is there an AA group there that you might go to during this month you are going to stay sober? Please keep coming back here and let us know how it's going.
