People appreciated the topic discussion shared on earlier.. so I decided to try my hand at posting up a topic. I have an approved list of discussion topics here, and was looking at them, cuz they fell off my shelf.. and decided that I'd pick one and put it up... and it turned out to be:
living one day at a time
Well, I think that has been part of my problem lately. I felt tired of all the crap I've been putting up with from my landlord (past), and dreading the continued crap (future), and that made me just feel tooooo overwhelmed by it all. I had to break it down to not just one day, but one minute... I can handle this present minute with my Higher Power. But sometimes that helps me to procrastinate too. lol instead of taking the present moment to deal with it.. my face is in the computer and I'm thinking I'll deal with it tomorrow (future).... hmmm... well,, at least I'm thinking?
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Yeah, I find it a kind of balancing act myself-I have kind of lived one day at a time in the past, but back then, it meant I didn't plan for the future-not always good! Yet I did dwell on the past, as I still have a tendency to do-I feel like I've wasted most of my life. ( But that's a sort of judgement call, since I had immature unrealistic hopes and expectations for my life until recently.) Regretting the past is a trap I need to sidestep-I do need to remember certain lessons I have learned, but not beat myself up over mistakes and coulda/shoulda beens.
I also need to stop stressing about future events, especially those completely out of my hands. The Serenity Prayer is great to help remind me of this! I should plan but not obsess over the future, and learn from the past but not despair over it.
I understand living "one day at a time" much better now, since before I did it mostly to avoid what I did not want to do or face. And yes, at times, all I can handle is one minute at a time! But that's OK, it fits too. I think the one day approach just means don't take on too much, do what you can, live well and try to avoid regrets and fears. We have one huge problem we in AA must avoid, and the 24 hour solution works best. Getting overwhelmed or depressed only hurts our chances at sobriety. It's a strage strategy for this world today, but it really makes a lot of sense. I mean, we only really do live one moment at a time. Often when I start getting tense, worried or down, I remind myself to wait it out-sometimes it changes in a moment. (If I can sleep on it, things ususally improve even more!)
Well if you are sitting at the computer, facing it and ignoring the rest, sounds like you are trying to get centered, in the middle of it. When the place that we live in is in chaos, it has to be one of the most difficult places to be.
Our (or my immediate envirornment, can reflect, or make me feel chaotic) When there have been times when I have some remodeling done, and stuff was all over the place, not where it should be. it makes me feel kind of Freaked out. We live in our little Santuraries.
I felt like I needed to turn my back on a lot of stuff around my house yesterday, and faced my PC for 6 hours, I knew I was doing it, I wanted to take a break from the Grieving stuff, and I allowed myself to do so without beating the you know what out of me, I told myself I was just being nurturing, maybe it was BS to myself. But today, for sure, I am turning it off. When I was close to getting off the PC, last nite, I talked to this DSL Tech for 2 hours, on getting connected, and by the time I was finished, I felt sick to my stomach.
I do sympathize with your situation, won't your landlord do anything more???? (How about the sweeking wheel) if you call him 2 times a day, and tell him the things have to be done. Usually someone will respond just so they can get you off their back. i did that last year when I was moving and had to get some stuff repaired, by the people that said they did it in the first place, and they did it wrong, so I called every morning, stayed very friendly, not upset,.... drove them nuts, and they did show up and did the work with a smile on their face. And I knew the smile was about getting rid of my phone calls, but oh well, you cant will them all. That's what I do, when something is bothering me, I just keep passing it on to whoever is responsible, over and over and over. It works for me. Maybe it would not work for you. Just thought I would share it.
Hope you day goes well Amanda, it has been what? a week now?
When I was drinking, I'd always spent my days planning what tomorrow, or next week, or next year or 5 years from now would be like. I realize now that was b/c I was so unhappy (and so drunk) and kept thinking "it will get better at some point." I just kept waiting for things to get better. Not until the program did I start to TRY to live just for today, and begin to understand it's up to me for things to get better. Not until the program did I know this was even possible. Some days it's really, really difficult. If I'm not careful, I will start to revert back to old habits of projecting. But I take the suggestions that are offered and the one that works best for me is the saying "fake it till you make it". When I find myself living for what the future may or may not hold, I repeat the serenity prayer, I tell myself "this too shall pass (YUCK!) and I get myself to a f2f or call another AA. It's such a blessing that I can usually "fake it" long enough for it to pass and by continue to do this it has started to not be so "fake" anymore, it is beginning to become "reality".....
Thanks for the post, Amanda.
-- Edited by Doll at 09:05, 2006-01-27
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
I'm reminded of the words of an old country/gosple song..."Lord, for my sake, teach me to take one day at a time."
It truly is for my sake that I MUST learn not to dwell on the past, or worry about those things in the future that are not within my control.
What this means to me is that I should apply lessons from the past to today, but not waste the day turning my mistakes over and over in my mind. If I am preoccupied with regret, it blocks my ability to do some good today. It also means that I can still make positive plans for my future today, but then set those plans aside until it is time to implement them. If I spend my whole day worrying and fretting about what negative occurance might affect my plans for tomorrow, I won't have the presence of mind to focus on what needs to be done today.
And, in all things I do today, I need to stay focused on maintaining consious contact with the Great One, and on my first priority - not to use/abuse.
The oldtimers use to say**KEEP ONE FOOT IN YESTERDAY AND ONE FOOT IN TOMMORROW AND U WILL BE SURE TO PISS ALL OVER TODAY.
i TRY TO KEEP EMOTIONALLY IN TODAY, of course i plan things**vacation, new car, home, etc.
SOMTIMES NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES*******LIKE THE LANDLORD****
I,m not one to put up with BS
Toni -- I TOO HAVE SPENT HRS TRYING TO GET STUFF OFF THIS COMPUTER SO i CAN REFORMAT IT.
I THINK A VIRIUS PLAYED HELL WITH IT.
Worked most of the day yesterday**finally gave up early last eve**
Might start later today, If i start now it will probably emotionally wreck the day. I have to make coffe for a noon meeting. I can see me running around stressing to get there on time. GOTTA GIVE UP FOR NOW. GOTTA GET OFF HERE NOW!!! BYE
Well, I wrote a share on this and then lost it, so here is the short version.
From Al-anons "Just for Today' pamplet.... I will try to live through this day only and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime."
I can stay sober for today..one day at a time. Today is truly all I have for sure. What a freedom to have put the past behind and know that I can plan for tomorrow but even the best laid plans can change. Living life one day at a time, sounds freeing to me.
