The process of living, for each of us, is pretty similar. For every gain there is a setback. For every success, a failure. For every moment of joy, a time of sadness. For every hope realized, one is dashed. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh
The balance of events in our lives is much like the balance of nature. The pendulum swings; every extreme condition is offset by its opposite, and we learn to appreciate the gifts . . . of the bad times as well as the periods of rest.
On occasion we'll discover that our course in life has changed direction. We need not be alarmed. Step Three has promised that we are in caring hands.
We can develop gratitude for all conditions, good or bad. Each has its necessary place in our development as healthy, happy people. We need the sorrows along with the joys if we are to gain new insights. Our failures keep us humble; they remind us of our need for the care and guidance of others. And for every hope dashed, we can remember, one will be realized.
Life is a process. Each variation, in its own way, blesses me.
First I want to say thank you for your sharing your stories about you Pets and the Loss of Your Dog. That's is where I am at. The loss is Profound. I was saying yesterday, that the way I experienced my Annie was that she was the only genuine love I had ever had. I think what I really meant by that, that is accurate, is that is the only love my inner child ever experienced. I used to tell my therapist, about Annie, I talked a lot about her, that she was actually healing my inner child. That was hitting the nail on the head, so to speak, and I think my deepest fear now is, what about my inner child, does she have to go back to being so isolated. And I think you gave me the answer. I have been looking around every day at my now empty house and do not like the way it feels without her, It feels like a baron wasteland. And if I go and find another little creature to share my life with, I will not be betrayer her, I know she would not want to see me this sad and isolated. I am going to give it some more time, and will go thru this "honoring" process, (as Chris had put into words, so well). But down the road, I don't know when, I will go and find another little Blessing, that needs a home, and a lot of love.
I have struggled with the same stuff, did the Vet, who said she was one of the sickest animals he had seen, was that the truth? I don't know. But I do say to my Higher Power, when I start going into that stuff, o.k., whats done is done. She is not coming back. Help me accept that, Please. She had special medical needs for five years, had an enlarged heart, which she took medicine for, had to give her meds for different things, she had bad arthritis, the list goes on, so I want to learn how to be greatful that she had excellent medical care and stayed around for a long time, after she had developed a few serious medical conditions. What took her at the end was a very large, size of a lemon, cancerous tumor, showed in Ultra Sound, but then you know how it goes, I ask myself, how do they know its cancer, maybe it was a large sist that could have been removed. We really can beat ourselves up, eh? Solution: Let go and Let God. Strive for and keep striveing for. It will happen! That I know, the letting go part is the Tough Part.....but I have practiced it so many times in the past...it does work, if I will let it.
Secondly, I LOVED the POEM, I saved in my Documents folder, titled it Life on Life's Terms. I intend to read it when I feel I am falling back down in that dark hole.
So it is good to meet you, (and i think maybe I'll look around and see if I can find a wrench, to beat up, just kidding, I use letting the anger travel down to my left arm ending at my wrist and hand and let some poor cabinet have it, by slamming it so hard the hinges might come off. (You know that is an old Francis Bacon theory from many, many years ago, like over a hundreds old. I love the theory myself, I do not want anger to internalize, and also I have the luxury on not having to apoligize to anyone TeHe.
Thank you for all that you wrote today and last night,
I found my first dog was the worst. Not that any are easy. I broke the pain of my last loss, by getting a new dog before the old passed.
I brought her home and decided if my old dog didn't like her, she was going back. I had it all arranged where i got the dog. A trial period to speak. It worked well for all. My old dog perked up and my pain wasn't as bad, when I had to put him down. Don't second guess yourself**you made the right decision. I learnd that the first time. I have a rule, I don't ever keep them alive for me. It's about quality of life. They deserve it.
I was thinking about the pink cloud yesterday. I was on it after my appendectomy, feeling sooo much better, and feeling really great! and then crashing this week into a real funky depression. So I really needed to read that reminder, that it's alllll part of life.
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
