Hi does anyone feel like sharing: My Topic is: The Way out is in the 12 Steps
(Thought I would copy something Jen did last night- it felt like an on-line meeting)
How the 12 steps have changed who I am as a person, have given up being a manipulative, self-seeking person only interested in what I want. I now have the ability to feel things and feel for others - I use to feel for others after my own needs were met, but now my needs are met by putting others first. I can now listen and hear what others are actually saying, instead of what I want to hear. So many changes have taken place in my life in Recovery, with God's help, I could not have done any of these things my myself - it would have been impossible. So glad for the work that had to be done, just to not drink, one day at a time, and all the Miracles that came with that work.
Great topic Toni...I was sober for a few years before I came into the program...I went on a spiritual journey...found the God of my understanding, went to counceling.Then I found the rooms of AA and Al-anon, started working the steps.The true healing began, the resentments were dealt with... I can now live and let live.I found out that God had a purpose for my life and I needed to get up each day and reach out to others, where ever I went.The steps helped me to learn to take a personal inventory, just so I could keep my side of the street clean, that's all I'm truly responsible for today...what I do and how I do it. I don't have a problem with owning my part and making amends when I've wronged someone else.If I'd had the steps sooner I wouldn't have had to spent the time with the counceler who just really allowed me to keep blaming others.The way out, the way to a new life is in the 12 steps.
I knew for many years before getting sober that my life was a mess. I thought it was this way only because I drank, if I could just not drink (so much - never really wanted to stop) I would be OK. It wasn't until I hit bottom and went to AA for help that I learned the booze was just a symptom of my ills. The steps show me 2 things; just how sick I really am and how to use the 12 of them as my medication.
Thanks, Toni.......
Hugs.
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
TONI_________I now have the ability to feel things and feel for others - I use to feel for others after my own needs were met, but now my needs are met by putting others first
ROSIE______as a coda, i , in the past, was forced to put others first and i got ZILCH....my needs were rarely , if ever, met....so now??? yes, i place BIG importance on others, the ones i love, but i put ME first....by taking care of me, i can give more to others.....i and my inner child need me the most....others can/ do out of being human , let me down, but i am my bottom line...my CONSTANT as a rescuer......
so even though i place high importance on others....i make sure i take care of me ....when i give?? it is becuz i totally want to w/out any expectations of anything.....if i don't really want to give??? it would depend on the relationship....if it is someone whom i really love, than yeah, i will go the "extra mile" HOWEVER at NO time do i compromise MY needs/ my beliefs/ my morals for anyone......i was forced to take care of my perp/ my drunk mother and i never got my needs met...i got starved out.......no more!!! however i don't want to be an island either.......i do belive in the "love thy neighbor AS thy love thy self" that means to me, that i cannot radiate love to others, if i dont' love me first..............just my take, take what works, leave the rest.......rosie
just want to say, it is complicated stuff, i know, but when I say I put others first, I think what I meant is that my needs are already met each day, being alive, and have learned how to be my own best friend, I don't need to go out and get my needs met, they are already there, I am not a big fan of Dr Phil, but one thing he said when I happened to catch him on a show, he was telling these young women, who were broken hearted over a love, that had abandoned them, his words to them were so "right on", he said to these young women, you think who you are yearning for is him, the one that left, but the truth is, the person you are really yearning for the most is youself. We are the only ones that can ever abandon us, if you think about it. So I dont need to get my needs met, they already are met. But I do know where you are coming from too.
AA gave me a place to heal. The folks that came before me reassured me whatever was going on was a process of healing. I would pick someones personality that was attractive to others and immulate, almost puppet them. I did this because I hadn't found me. I did the best I could at the time to be available to other suffering alcoholics and I realized the reason at that time was because I needed to feel needed.
After learning how to face myself, 4th & 5th, it was finally revieled to me who I was and in what capacity I could be of real service.
That process took a long time because I had much resistance to letting go of that part of me that was invulnerable and couldn't be hurt by anyone.
