Well you all know that I poured my heart out the other day, about some hurt that was inside me, that felt unconsolable. Well, it did get consoled, by your love and support, and my begging for help from my Higher Power.
Today, what has changed in me is that the hurt is still there, but my Attitude about my loss, has had a Major Change.
I am now Thanking God for the fact that I can feel it. When Phil Posted the 5 Stages of Grief, I thought to myself, O.K. that's why I am a little out of Control with it, I was right in the Center of the Depression Part, not functioning too well, but when I could see that it was the most difficult part to get through, I felt some comfort in that.
If we are Diligent about wanting Help, Help does come, and when I read about some others shares about how difficult it can be, well that made it a "We" problem, not a me problem.
I can walk thru this, with a Loving God. It is not easy, but it is simple. My little Annie, and the way I experienced her was that it was the only genuine love, I had ever had, in my life, and will I miss that, of course I will.
I do have a son that lives here, and I have another son that is not available to me, a lot of letters, and that will have to do. But I feel love for them both and I feel love from them both, but they are our children, and we need to let them go and live their own lives, knowing that there is still love there, that's what counts.
Sometimes the road gets very Narrow, and all I can do is acknowledge that that Road feels very narrow, right now, but I do trust God, and believe that the road, our Journey takes many turns, and if the road feel narrow, there must be a reason for it. There is a saying that we will find God at the center of our Pain. i do believe that.
So just want to say to you all that I am not feeling so isolated, and that is a big step for me.
Hi, I am just popping in and haven't been on this board in a while. I am from Alanon board and my hubby is my A. All I know, is that from a Hazelden reader I read, "Pain we obey" and "Pain saves lives." So, with that said, I hate to feel pain, but it certainly has turned me around in different directions in my life when I needed it, and perhaps saved me more grief, (and perhaps, my life. Maybe even my spouse's. )
I've been told and seen that the most honor we can give is to feel the loss and sadness that comes with someones or somethings death.
After a while in AA I realized I too was going through a grieving process. I grieved for my old life. It had to die before I could live and be free. I still missed it and every once in a while I'd try to resurect it. Then I'd find myself havin' to do all kinds of ammends and repentances again.
