The human heart in its perversity finds it hard to escape hatred and revenge.
--Moses Luzzatto
This program promises many rewards for those who follow it, but it does not promise to be easy. We search our conscience for resentments and face them. No man can progress in his recovery while holding onto resentments, old angers, and hatreds. When we hold them, we protect dark corners of our souls from the renewal we need. As we allow ourselves to be made new through this program, we no longer reserve those small corners for the game of power and resentment. They will eventually consume us and justify in our minds a return to the old patterns. Nothing can be held back. We must be willing to surrender all - even if we do not know how. No one can stop being resentful simply by deciding to stop. When we are willing to be honest, to be humble, to be learners, to be led in a constructive direction, to allow time to be guided rather than seek instant cure, then we will learn trust and will surely make progress. I do not need to know exactly how to let go of my resentments or what will happen after I do. I simply must be ready to let them go.
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
This message strikes me today. Resentments are poison for my soul. It seems easy to see the effect, but it is hard to get the ego out of the process. In my desire to "get even", I lose my contact with my HP. I again think that it really makes a difference to the universe that I am right. Such a deal...
The idea of letting go and allowing the program to work over time in my life is the best way. If I get impatient, I become the power in my life. This never works. So today I see that being willing is the first part of his healing. In time it does get better. My life does change. I finally experience the miracle of this program.
TOPIC___________We must be willing to surrender all - even if we do not know how. No one can stop being resentful simply by deciding to stop. When we are willing to be honest, to be humble, to be learners, to be led in a constructive direction, to allow time to be guided rather than seek instant cure, then we will learn trust and will surely make progress. I do not need to know exactly how to let go of my resentments or what will happen after I do. I simply must be ready to let them go.
ROSIE_______ oh wow!! this is what i had to do...i had to be/ could only be WILLING and OPEN to release all the hate/resentment towards my perp...... b4 i came here and was able to discharge all the negative emotions, i hated him so bad, i dreampt of diferent ways i could kill him/ torture him......it was awful......it was consuming me....i think at that time it was the hate that "kept me going---kept me alive" now it was a liability and i knew it.....but FIRST i had to work through all the suppressed anger/rage/hate/resentment....i had to discharge it B4 i could FINALLY come to the point of exhaustion (raging/crying/beating the chair) and WILLINGNESS to (and i visualize this) wrap him up in a trashbag and give him over to god......i gave UP my inclinations to punish him/ condemn him.....i GAVE HIM OVER.........i am READY to let go....release me from the negative and evil......i know it is progressing becuz i am less and less interested in "bashing" him and more and more focused on me/ solution......i am READY to fill my heart up with love for me and what is GOOD , rather than hate for that and whats evil.......my eyes are seeking the LIGHT!!!
i had to realize that i was POWERLESS over my hate/rage/resentment/revenge.......i had to give it over...i had to accept that i could not do this w/out help from my hp.....i had to be honest...humble...willing......as i am now...and i just keep working on my program and trusting that the process "wheels are turning" on this project.........great share.........hugs/ rosie
