What does it mean to you, what does it look like, feel like, sound like; how do you personally define it. "It" is the last word of our second step. I'm listening...actually gotta listen.
Sanity to me is being able to finally think rationally and more clear headed than I have in years. It means no longer feeling like I have to drink non-stop all through the day, everyday until I pass out at night and wake up and try to figure out what I said or did to be embarrassed and ashamed about.
I am not sure what it looks or sounds like--yet-- but it feels pretty darn good so far.
When I asked in early sobriety for a definition...some one gave me "A continuous and orderly process of thought"...I had no idea what that was and also knew I had never done it. One of my drinking nicks was "crazy" which you all get is mostly about behavior and talking...sometimes means appearance too. We have been described rightly as "risk takers" "manic/depressive" "Bi-polar" and much more often times the mental/emotional jargon also describes "under the influence" which doesn't only mean intoxicated. Alcohol destroys alot of brains/minds and so the ability to maintain "A continuous and orderly process of thought" was impossible or nearly impossible. My thinking runs on its own. It is continuously disorderly and often defensively fear based. I personally am not fear based and don't act it and it seems my brain belongs to another person who has lodging and pays no rent and also comes and goes at will. Anyone relate on this?
Good question Jerry....I guess for me the idea that somehow...Someday I'll be able to control and enjoy my drinking...Or the need to prove that I can drink like other people...Is gone. That queer mental condition surrounding that first drink no longer exists for me. I don't buy into that illusion anymore. I almost persued it into the gates of death....I lived in that insanity for most of my life.....Today I don't.
Good topic Jerry. For me this line sums it up on Pg 84 of the AA book: "And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone--even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned."
"Sanity" is not a word I use in my recoveries or sobrieties. I know insane. I know the tongue in cheek definition of insanity - continuing to do the same thing over and over again expecting different results. I have never really been a sane person. I neither know what sanity is or really want to fit myself into the unknown definition of it. At most, for me Sanity is the opposite of insanity...finding and doing something that gets a different result.
Instead of using 'sanity' as my measure, I choose to healthier. I am not sane. I am not normal. I can not seek to be either because the definition of both is a based on a social view point that I cannot adhere to and remain/respect the individual I am. My ideal is to a healthier person than I have been, mentally, emotionally, physically, relationally, without the use any crutches, addictions, or alcohol.
Now if you swap the words... Sanity would be the healthier me I do not truly know yet. But I'm learning. I'm striving. I'm defining with each and every moment I make that choice not to go, buy, and drink.
Meanwhile I know I'm still abnormal and insane...and rather enjoy it. But I don't drink and I am becoming healthier.
What does it mean to you, what does it look like, feel like, sound like; how do you personally define it. "It" is the last word of our second step. I'm listening...actually gotta listen.
To me: ... Sanity is being able to enjoy your own company when you are alone ... to achieve the capacity to take in the wonders of God's creations, to know inner peace with all that is around you, to know love and to give it under all conditions ... ... ... (I do think that temporary insanity visits often when I allow my thinking to stray off the path of 'right' thinking ...) ...
I also think that 'sanity' is to become one with God, and I feel He simply wants us to love Him enough to receive the gifts and blessings He has to offer His children ...
Sanity is peace of mind and having the 'capacity' to 'love' unconditionally ... my dog taught me that ... and the AA program allowed that to grow in me ... God Bless!
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Wednesday 30th of October 2013 09:59:40 AM
Hi Jerry, I think sanity can be defined in lots of ways and probably has a very long definition. In the short amount of time I have here, I'd have to say that a person has become sane when he, or she, is making decisions and choices that are not destructive or damaging to himself, or herself, and to all of the others around. While we could go further with that, it may be something close to sanity. Good topic! Blessings, Mike D.
For me I had to first look at the definition (secular WEBSTERS)...SANE=having a sound mind,not mad,,showing good judgement,sensible and practical. So Insane=at least the opposite. But how do we look at the insanity in Addiction? Insanity is making the same"mistakes"(not doing same thing)over and over and expecting different results..We can quickly refer back to being in the grip and REMEMBER WE used even when we knew what the results would be..The obvious insanity of our disease is the obsession to take that first drink and the compulsion to continue on no matter what the cost(jails,institutions,deriliction or death).
WE look at the actual part of the sentence"could restore us to sanity". It doesn't say it WOULD.it says COULD ,which implies 'WORK"...One of the major ingredients in our recovery is coming to accept the need for renewal of sanity in our lives,,if we have any doubts, this is going to be a difficult work forward for us..Our insanity also above the obvious,is our own personal perspective and our sense of proportion of things in our life..For example,we don't even think of others needs,small problems WE urn into major catastrophes,our lives are completely out of balance,we even believe we can stay free from active addiction because we may have stopped for awhile believing that the substance is our only problem(keep it on me here)..We may think we can take something "outside ourselves"(drugs,power,sex,food,gambling etc, to fix whats wrong "inside"=our feelings..
I have always realized,for me, that coming to believe was my restoration to sanity,,and it is a life long journey.For me,its not today Im insane ,,tomorrow im not...The Restoration process ,for me, was changing to that point where my addiction and its accompanying insanity were no longer controlling my life.The meaning of "sanity will increase as our process of recovery continues to blossom daily,as we make choices with a sound mind,that seem practical and sensible..We do suffer from a physical,mental and spiritual illness ,and this pattern moves forward in our beginning recoveries,We physically put down the substance,the healing can then begin,,,We mentally instill daily the HOW of the program through (honesty,open mindedness and willingness)and most importantly,again for me,we are guided by a Power greater than ourselves in all areas of our lives. With God,all things are possible(and that God is of your own understanding..We practice principles of faith,trust,willingness,humility .Even after decades of practice and application of the spiritual principles of the program ,guided by the God of my understanding,I still can find myself in an "insane state of mind" BUT with God,my tools and daily persistence this process of "coming to believe" is restoring me to Sanity. In any given situation,with prayer and application of spiritual principles I find myself being able to move from that 'Insane state of mind to a more sane state,something that for almost 3 decades of my life was virtually impossible while caught in the grip.As WE grow in our recoveries I believe it is very important that the meaning of "sanity" also grows with us.... Thanks for topic Jerry,,have a blessed and productive day....
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Reacting to the world around me, not having a drama generator in my head making things different than what they are.
As a sane person I connect more to other people. Most people are not suffering from alcoholic insanity. It was a bit odd at first. So after a long period of insanity, thinking more like a normal person is weird at first.
A part of sanity to me was the dawning on my mind that I could be wrong. As an alkie, I had many twisted thinking patterns, and seeing it for what it was became the first step to sanity.
Side effects of sanity to me are the results of the AA program. I see the promises coming true in me and others. Just seeing the real sane world and being able to understand it, that is the change, that is sanity.
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"I spent a lifetime in hell and it only took me twelve steps to get to heaven."
"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."
Good question Jerry. For me to take step 2 required only the willingness to believe that a power greater than myself could possibly restore me to sanity in the same way as it had helped those sober AA members in front of me.
Restore means put back as it was, so, as I was not travelling too well even before my first drink, possibly I was restored to the level of sanity and ordinary person might have, which I think would be considerably saner than at any time in my life before having a spiritual awakening, drinking or not. Does that make sense, restored to some semblence of normalcy, reacting sanely and normally as the book says.
The AMA have a definition I once read which seemed to have a good perspective. They describe their optimum state of restoration for an alcoholic as "stable recovery" defined as more than 5 years without a drink, and fully integrated back into their community as a fully functioning member on the same terms as anyone else. That's very paraphrased and there may be much more to it than I remember.
For me I think many other things come into the general definition including feelings of satisfaction and worth, the ability to put others first, an absense at least to a good degree, of selfishness. An ability to live in the world on the same terms as everyone else without the need for special treatment, to have feelings and normal reactions like happiness or grief, to have empathy. To have loving relationships.
Perhaps above all, as Pappy said, to be happy and content to be alone with God, and be free of irrational fears.
When I read all that I think "restore to sanity" sells the idea a bit short. Perhaps it ought to be changed to "will give us a life beyond our wildest dreams!" I never knew most of these things existed before.
God bless, MikeH
-- Edited by Fyne Spirit on Thursday 31st of October 2013 10:35:15 PM
