Yeah Stepman, ... this kinda hit home for me too ... when I came back to AA the last time, I'm pretty sure I was just plain ole 'agnostic' ... My sponsor told me to pray every night and thank God for the day ... I told him nope, I wasn't goin' to do that, I wasn't goin' to be a hypocrite ... he said you mean to tell me you don't believe God hears your prayers ??? ... I said nope and I ain't goin' to do it ... he said THAT doesn't matter, he said God is NOT goin' to depend on you for your relationship with Him ... He loves you despite what you think of Him ...
He told me go on, do it ... whether you mean it or not ... and he told me to add this statement ... God, take me today and do with me as you see fit, and please take OUR relationship and make it what you would like it to be, Amen ... and at night to thank Him for the day ... SO ... I started off by saying 'God, thank you for a lousy damn day, Amen ... my sponsor was on trying to condition me to start saying prayers routinely ... now, I realize that !!!
That started my journey in 'doing what ever it takes' in AA ... Damn, I hated it when my sponsor was right, LOL ... my relationship with God has grown so much over the years ... it is the fuel for me to continue in this program ... it has become my strength ... and I've seen prayers heal the sick, and I don't mean just us alcoholics either ...
Thanks for the comments, love ya man and God Bless, Pappy
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Monday 28th of October 2013 06:44:02 PM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I've spend a lot of my life struggling with the concept of God. For many years my God was on a throne judging my thoughts and actions, and I did my best to keep on His good side. When I sinned, I'd try doubly hard to be good again and all the while I was trying to keep track of my good/bad ledger. "If I die tonight, where will I end up?" I thought regularly before going to sleep. By the time I got sober, I was pretty sure where I was going...
In early recovery I was terrified of the thought of turning my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood Him. I was sure God didn't care much for me, and I was afraid that if I abandoned myself to Him then he would exact His just reward. I secretly resented God, and when I finally admitted this to my sponsor, he gave me the solution.
"Talk to God and tell Him exactly how you feel," he suggested. "But I'm really pissed off about a lot of things, and He's not going to like it," I warned him. "Believe me, He's big enough to take whatever you've got," he said. When I finally began an open and honest dialogue with God - telling Him of my anger, resentments, fears and disappointments in Him - that's when my connection and faith in a Higher Power began. And that's when my real recovery began as well.
Today I've learned that God doesn't care what you think about Him, only that you think about Him.
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Copyright @ 2013 Michael Z
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
You fill my heart with posts like these. I long to fellowship with my brethren who have such a love for such a wonderful Father God. I used to be ashamed of my sins until I understood the love of God for a sinner like me. Despite myself and my sick understanding with a feeble prayer, He heard me and rescued me. I am forever grateful to those members of AA that held my hand and led me to God. They were the people who never compromised the truth to fit into my sick understanding. They stood firm on their faith and it helped me to develop mine.
and he told me to add this statement ... God, take me today and do with me as you see fit, and please take OUR relationship and make it what you would like it to be, Amen ...
That sounds a lot like the third step prayer....
"God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"
Ya know, I can't say that I ever put that together Stepman, ... thanks for the connection ... I guess my dumb appearing old southern boy sponsor wasn't so dumb after all, huh ?
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hi guys and gals, I always believed in God all my life. One of the biggest things I believed about God was that He definitely wasn't too pleased with me. But, a desperate prayer asking for help in a treatment ward changed all that for me. I immediately found out how wrong I was. For that matter, I've been finding out how wrong I am all through out my whole sobriety. I guess that must be part of what's been keeping me sober! LOL. Blessings Mike D.
