Why all this insistence that every A.A. must hit bottom first? The answer is that few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have hit bottom. For practicing A.A.'s remaining eleven Steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 24
Hitting bottom opened my mind and I became willing to try something different. What I tried was A.A. My new life in the Fellowship was a little like learning how to ride a bike for the first time: A.A. became my training wheels and my supporting hand. It's not that I wanted the help so much at the time; I simply did not want to hurt like that again. My desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful than my desire to drink. In the beginning that was what kept me sober. But after a while I found myself working the Steps to the best of my ability. I soon realized that my attitudes and actions were changing - if ever so slightly. One Day at a Time, I became comfortable with myself, and others, and my hurting started to heal. Thank God for the training wheels and supporting hand that I choose to call Alcoholics Anonymous.
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
Loved that part about the training wheels, seems like whenever I try riding my bike for a long time, a lot of miles, well, I do fall down, bruise my knees, and have to go back to that smaller bike with the training wheels. And this is while, not drinking, one day at a time!!!!!!
Life on Life's terms, I have to go back sometimes and breathe that one in, slowly, and deeply, before I get back on the bigger bike.
Thank you for all your contributions here, there are so appreciated!!!!! In my book you are a Winner in this little 24 hour program.
A great way to wake up, and get started with today!
I hit a LOT of bottoms over the years, but somehow seemed to bouce a little each time ( I now know it was the grace of my HP). Then one day, I didn't bounce. It was just "WHAM!" Found the training wheels of AA and these days, I don't even bother looking for the wrench to take them off. Tried that once, found out I don't bounce at all anymore. The pavement was extra hard, got both knees and elbows. I might take my hands off the handle bars once in a while, but think I'll just keep peddling along with the toddlers. No big girl bicycle for me!
Love you much, Toni!
Doll
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
