Congratulations on day 30 Franklin Everyday sober is a true miracle for an alcoholic.

Do you have an Alcoholics Anonymous Book, the Big Book? It is a must read for all of us in this program. You will be in my thoughts and prayers today, honesty is a good thing.

(((Hugs)))

GammyRose

Way to go Franklin.... eh???

Congratulations on 30 days sober.

On this site are tools you can use to help you through some steps. These steps were designed  to help us gradually exit the world of insanity.

The first step you've probably already been doing. By admiting you were powerless over alcohol, that your life was unmanagable. There is a big difference between managing and controlling.

If there are no meetings in your area, I would suggest reading the Big Book here online and becoming familiar with the 12 steps to recovery.

Chris B.

(((((((((((Frank))))))))) I think your doing so good!  If you feel the need to tell MIL, do so.  I know when I hide my alcoholism I do it for 2 reasons.  One I might want to drink again,or two I protect myself from outsiders and thier judgement.  I do hope all goes well with MIL.  Let us know OK!

Thanks everybody, I just came back from the conversation with my MIL and a long with the 4 of us (mil,fil,me,wife).

I already have the big book bookmarked and have read it a couple of times, thanks amanda! I still use it sometimes now to read things over, I still can read new things in it, even after reading it that many times depening on my state of mind.

Doll, I wasn't planning on telling anybody. Just in case I'd slip back etc, and I don't want the whole world to know how far away I have been. I needed to tell my MIL for 2 reasons: (A) After my wife, she is the person closest to me (more than my own mother, but that is another issue I have to address someday hehe; one problem at the time please , and (B) my wife is going to some 'strange' times too ofcourse, and she asked me if she could call her best friend and tell her about it just to talk and get advice, I wasn't too happy about that at first but now I am, so I told her she should talk to her about this anyways. But she didn't. Her real best friend is her mother, and she knew I was going to tell her 'someday' which came sooner than I hoped. She is just so relieved that now finally (after knowing about me being an alcoholi for 3 days) she can talk to someone about it. She will call her mother someday for sure to talk about, but that is up to her.

@zoomie: From both my wife and my MIL (they are a lot alike you know) I received so much love these days that I am very happy they both know it now, and they know I am working my way through the program, and that I am having difficult days. They are so willing to provide help whenever needed it is good to know! I don't want to fall back into my old habbits, I want to stay sober today, I will worry about tomorrow when it comes. Having two lovely ladies watching my back, willing to accept I made crash in the process and still willing to help is just great! Maybe my MIL is not your typical Mother in law

 

And to add to my story so far: My wife took my father in law for a walk so I could have some time alone with my MIL in their hotel room. I told her about the problems in our marriage that drove us apart this year and took a deep breath and watched her for a few seconds and told her "..and I am an alcoholic." I really thought she knew as she always feels things that is going on with other people so correctly, but she missed this one. She had asked me months before "Aren't you drinking too much?" on which I replied then "No, just a few beers so now and then". But that was then; and ofcourse I lied. As I always lied when it was about drinking.

Well, she gave me a hug and a kiss and I told her the story about the last couple of years, what happened, how sick I have been, how I cheated on her daughter, how I cheated on her, how I was so sick that I finally could decide to stop and say "I am an alcoholic". I still have so many problems saying it out loud (typing is still hard too). She listened and listened, got us more coffee and cigarettes. After my monologue, we had a nice discussion about how the recovery has been so far, she gave me some advice about medicins available (she is working in the medical field and know about her stuff too) but I said I had that part covered with my doctor: taking no pills unless necesarry. And I don't want to take pills that make me sick when I would drink alcohol. In that case I am just as depending as I was and would rely on the pills to help me, I can't do that, I want to be able to "just not drink". Then we talked about my marriage with her daughter, how much pain I had done to her daughter and how our marriage was about to end... She reminded me about our more happier days, the first 5 years of our marriage, when I wasn't drinking, and that she hoped that situation could be reinstated.

She said she hoped for the both of us that we would be celebrating our 8.5 years marriage which would be on March 3rd with a big party (for just the two of us) , that was a nice of way of letting me know she hoped everything would work out eventually.

She also said that if we didn't make it after all, she still would like to keep seeing me whenever possible because she didn't like me just because I was her daughters husband, but she really did like me as person. That helped me very much and I started to cry real hard. until then I had cried just a little during our conversation, I wanted to be strong. But this made me cry out loud and she comforted me afterwards. I have been hating myself for 2.5 years now, and had forgotton is was actually possible to like me; she still did, even after what I had told her today.

Well, then we joined my wife and her father, he ofcourse didn't know what the conversation was about. I told him I would tell him what it was about later, in time. Until then my MIL will inform him about everything. She asked me if she could and I said " ofcourse !". Don't keep secrets from your partner, take it from me . I want to tell it  my father in law face to face someday, but now is not the time. But this is a promise I don't want to break.

At this time I have no plans to tell anyone else, including my own father and mother. I'm not sure if they would want to know. At this point I think it will cause more harm to them then that it would do good. They are the kind of people that will say "Where did we fail?". They didn't, they have been great parents all my life and still are! They probably have no clue as I could hid it from them easily. But maybe in time, I change my point of view on this, I am not sure.

@amanda: thanks for letting me know I too can give back things to the forum. I wasn't sure I was able to do so as I was so busy with my own problems. If it helps just one person that is trying to stop drinking I am very happy! My story is just my story, but I have been helped with other peoples stories on my way too!!

With love from the people that care about you anything is possible!

Franklin

Franklin,

Like I siad in your other thread, your story is really one of great courage! It may not feel like it right now, but I am certain you will be rewarded with strength.  I am sending you cyber congratulatory hugs on your 30 days! Here they come!!!

({[({[Franklin)}])}]}

Thank you again for sharing!  We are so glad you are here!

ZuZu

Happy Birthday Frank and many more sober ones!

(((((((((Huggys))))))))))