When I am negative or pessimistic I: look at the worst side of a situation. say what ``I'm not'' rather than what ``I could be.'' lack the belief that I could change. lose hope in the future. take the opposing view in any positive conversation. am unable to make upbeat or uplifting comments about myself or others. turn all conversations into griping, complaining, or bitching sessions. have nothing good to say about myself or others. complain about the inequities of life. try nothing new or challenging because I feel that I will fail. get bitter over how people treat me - now and in the past. put down new, creative and inventive ideas as impossible. limit my horizons which results in limiting my personal growth. take no risks. challenge those who are looking for the ``up'' side of a tragedy, failure, or disaster.ridicule those who believe in the power and mercy of their ``Higher Power.'' ridicule attempts to rectify a dysfunctional situation. resist altering my way of thinking, because I feel nothing will help or make a difference.

When I'm negative or pessimistic I feel: lonely, abandoned, and isolated. worthless, empty, and of no value. incompetent, ignorant, and useless. defeated, beaten down, and lost. betrayed, cheated, and unwanted. overwhelmed, overpowered, and defenseless. ignored, invisible, and avoided. like a wimp, a loser, an outcast. defiant, rebellious, and attacking. self-pitying, self-loathing, self-deprecating.

As a result of my being pessimistic or negative I: find people avoid talking to me. don't enjoy my life and I get depressed when I think about my future. find it difficult to be a healthy problem solver. don't accept alternative solutions to problems. am told that I'm overly critical by my family, co-workers, and friends. am not a ``fun'' person to be around. term constructive criticism a "declaration of my worthlessness,'' and I fail to see any value in the criticism. keep myself locked in a vicious cycle of "put downs,'' and "rejection.'' fulfill the prophecy that "I'll never succeed in anything I try.'' put a huge barrier between myself and others, one that is close to impossible to overcome. don't open myself up to ideas about life that conflict with my negative beliefs. am disliked. enjoy a "yes, but'' mentality. lose faith in a Power greater than I because of the futility, wretchedness, and misery I see in life. become rigid, one-sided, and stuck in my ways of interacting with others. become close-minded, single-minded and narrow in my focus.

What irrational thinking leads me to be pessimistic or negative?I will never be successful. I can't do anything right. People will never change. No matter how much I change it doesn't make any difference; others don't recognize the changes. There is no reason to have hope for the future; my past negative experiences tell it all. If people can critique my changed behavior, then how can I ever be "good enough?''No matter how much I change it is never enough. Life should be simpler. Life should be fair. Life should be easy. There is so much wrong in life how can I ever expect anything good to come my wayThere is too much to do to change my life for the better. It's too hard. All of life is a "sham'' and there is no such thing as happiness, love, or success. Why fight it? It's always the same: the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Nothing in life is certain except for death and taxes; why take a chance and change my life now? Why can't others change? Why does it have to be me that changes first? Why can't life be easier on me? My parents are the reason I am the way I am; nothing will ever change that. I'll only lose if I take on the challenge to change my life. People are only nice to me to see what they can get from me. Trust no one; open up to no one; play if safe and keep to myself. Nothing in life makes sense except pain, suffering, and misery. My destiny is predetermined; I'll never be able to change it. My genetic, hereditary, and environmental beginnings are totally responsible for what I do in life today. Once I am down, I will always be down. All people wear masks, and they are not to be trusted - even when they seem to be nice. What I see is never what it seems so I never get what I see. "There is a sucker born every minute'' and I am the biggest sucker of them all for believing in the goodness of others and the possibility of change in life. I was put on earth to die so why try to make more of life than what it is. I've been treated badly in the past, so why should I expect anything different in the future? There is nothing new under the sun; why try to change things now? I will always be disappointed if I believe in the good will of others. If people loved and supported me, they wouldn't criticize or correct me. It's always the same: extend my hand in friendship and get it slapped in return. No matter how good a person I try to be, I always get screwed in the end. There are the "haves and the have nots.'' I can't change that. I am what I am and nothing will ever change. If God loves the human race why does He permit illness, disasters, tragedy, and calamities?

What causes my pessimism and negativity?

I have a tendency toward pessimism and negativity because I: experienced a major tragedy or loss in my past and I haven't fully grieved and accepted the loss. have a permanent disability that prevents me from experiencing life to the fullest. have experienced a series of failures in school, work, family, life, or relationships that have convinced me that I am a failure. was ignored and still am ignored by my family of origin; I am convinced that I have to fight everyone to get my opinion heard. feel guilt over a past sin or mistake I made; this guilt blinds me from seeing hope, the promise of redemption, or forgiveness. would rather attend a `"self-pity party'' than eat at life's banquet. don't want to change my thinking, feeling, and actions. am stubborn and don't want to accept help when others point out optimistic or positive ways of looking at life. am lazy and realize that to change will take too much work, energy, and effort. like to be the center of attention. My current behavior draws a lot of attention to me, even if it is negative. refuse to consider that I might be wrong by taking on my "causes.'' consider those I come in contact with as stupid, ignorant, or irrational and believe my way is the only way to be. have never experienced happiness, joy, or contentment; it's impossible for me to attain.have never felt approval or recognition from the significant people in my life. am constantly reminded of my faults, shortcomings, failures, and lack of successes. give others power over me to keep me feeling badly about myself, my life, and the future. don't take steps to improve my self-esteem and self-worth. constantly give myself negative self-talk and negative visual imagery.

What can I do to overcome my pessimism and negativity?

To overcome my pessimism and negativity I can: analyze my behavior with my family, coworkers, friends, and others; I can identify the negative and pessimistic behavior and their impact on me. admit that my pessimism and negativity is not a productive behavior. identify the feelings that precede my negative attitude; then those feelings I have after the negativity. recognize that my emotional life suffers by negative behavior. watch for the reactions my negativity and pessimism elicits from others. identify how this behavior blocks my healthy interaction with others. identify the irrational thinking behind my negativity and pessimism. develop rational alternatives to the negative thinking. recognize that unresolved anger that lies at the root of my negativity and begin anger work-out sessions to let go of that anger. identify the negative self-talk and visual imagery that keep me locked in my negativity.rewrite and re-script my self-talk and the imagery. pay attention to me and begin to give myself the approval, recognition, and acceptance I depend on from others. empower myself to be my own cheerleader. refuse to give others the power to bring me back to my depression and negativity.revitalize my spirituality and reconnect with my ``Higher Power.'' open myself to the possibility that maybe I was wrong; that life is worth living; that I can make a positive difference by taking control. make a commitment to reduce my stubbornness and laziness. begin the hard work of building my self-esteem.