Hi My name has been nursedeborah for so many years given to me by my home group back when I first got sober in 1/3/88.
Then I was so very happy, and lived a life I never thought possible, until I was 19 days short of 7 years , and I went out.
From there it went so fast, and ME< the rich nurse was living on the streets in Long Beach CA with nothing left as the Tweekers had burned my storage garage to the ground.
Well I got sober again, had 5 years, and then met a girl when I was the house manager of a Christian Recovery Home.
I was not used to people on drugs anymore unless they were falling down drunk, but this girl moved in, and I ended up her sponsor.
Long story short she had been using all my credit cards, my car, spending all my money without my knowledge. She was by now my caregive as I was to have a back surgery is two weeks.
She actually ended up putting me in a Hotel, leaving me there, had here friends pack all I owned again after working hard for 5 years as a RN, but never came back.
I had the surgery, and the doctor did the wrong one, but also used the wrong hardware, leaving me more or less like a paraplegic in so many ways.
Then 3 months ago this poor little woman hit me as I was driving home from a meeting, and fractured my coccyx, and sacrum , also it caused the mid porrtion of the throiac area to lunge forward.
I refuse to have another back surgery, and never should have had the fist, as I know they don't work, and you only end up like me! In more pain, depressed, anxiety, or crap, I am getting sick of listening to all of this, I have to live it daily.
I am now back to where I can't get out of the house. This started after the surgery as I couldn't walk, and also I had never been given anything for pain after my surgery so I had the worst case of PTSD a VET DOC had ever seen, and I don't mean a animal doctor,lol.
I found you today just because I was looking for the setaside prayer, so I know this is a "GODSIDENCE" That's one of the words my girlfriend, and I who lived in our own worlds made up.
She was like my Mom, and had a language of her own, as did I, which I got from my Mother. I thought they were all real words until I got out into the real world.
Well I will stop now, that is if anyone has even kept reading this garbage. I will say this it is nice to just go on, and on. I am not heard even at my home group. Due to my having had a stroke on the O.R> table, and the PTSD they all think I am loaded, drunk, retarted, yet they have know me for over 30 years!
Thet tell us if you point a finger at someone that you have three pointing back at you, I never thought about that!
Nice to meet all of you, so glad that when ever a hand reaches out................................
Aloha Deb...welcome to the board and thanks for the story. I don't know but somewhere in that for me I was looking for a justification to drink again...and couldn't find one. I've had my "triggers" and didn't drink over them. I'm not actively looking for any and because of that may have the thought and never the justification. Thanks for showing up and telling me there are no justifications for an alcoholic to drink again. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
I am also a memer of the 7 Year Club. Basic AA worked for me for while but the time came when it wasn't enough. I had not had a spiritual awakening. I also gave myself away to others and ended up in self-resentment.
Those of us who came into AA years ago did not hear anyone talking about where the program of recovery actually was. there is only 1 set of directions on how to recover and they are in the Big Book. AA is changing today, and thank God. You will hear this message everywhere.
So now it's about knowing there is a Way Out, and anyone can do it no matter what your present circumstances. So now it's about your willingness. Will you come back and find a sponsor who know the work in the Big Book real well and ask her to sponsor you? If she is a true teacher, you and she will find a way to meet and do the work.
Hi My name has been nursedeborah for so many years given to me by my home group back when I first got sober in 1/3/88.