Hello, I am Bonnie sober for almost 50 days. I am still in a rehab group 4 nights a week, which I love. I also attend A.A. group throughout the weekends. I live In Telford Pa. , I just went through my huband telling me he is moving out. I am shocked and devistated. But when I found out this 2 days ago, I did not pick up. I cried alot and went to my group for support the last 2 nights. I am looking for someone that might live close or around me who might know of someone that might have small apts. or is renting small rooms. I am so lost here alone. I will not fail my sobriety. I do choose not to pick up. No matter how hard this gets, I will stay true to my God and myself.
Bonnie, welcome the board and please keep posting here. You are doing the right things going to meetings, it sounds like you have a great support system. Take it easy and ask some of the people in your group, counselors maybe, for some options.I'm so sorry you are going through this right now, but you can do it sober.
Keep posting ,please. Lots of experience, strength and hope here.
You are especially vulnerable right now. Find another female AA'er who you can confide in, and get all the AA support you can. I am not a super religious person, but am spiritual, and have said a prayer for you. This board is an excellent addition to your support network, but cannot take the place of your rehab or face to face AA meetings.
I am 6-1/2 years sober. About 1-1/2 years before I got sober, my ex-wife left me to take care of her mother, who was 2500 miles away in Florida dying from cancer. This was after 17 years. She could not handle my attempting and repeatedly failing to get sober.
After much work on my part, we speak on the phone several times a week. She is still in Florida. Her mother died, and she is 45 years old and waiting to die. I, on the other hand, have many friends, both in and out of the AA fellowship, am in law school at night, and, while I am at the edge economically, I am progressing and living a life with joy and promise and hope.
When we get sober, the power structure in our significant relationships changes. Our spouses stop having to be caretakers and our parents, and instead have equal partners. We demand respect where we deserved none. Our partners don't know what to expect. That is frightening. And with your amount of sobriety, you've got to be nuts. I know I was a flying fruitcake, basket case, wack job at 50 days sober. (I haven't improved much, but I have a little sanity!) Gettin' all freeking spiritual. Being scared. Their best bet is Al-anon. On the other hand, they can do what my Ex did and say it is all my fault, and they don't have a problem. But, the truth is, they do because they have no control over your alcohol consumption.
AA says to give it to God. I say simply give it time. Stay sober and your life will likely get better. Even if things don't work out the way you want, they will work out.
Welcome Bonnie. Hang in there. I know it doesn't feel like right now, but you are EXACTLY where you're supposed to be at this time.........don't drink, keep going to meetings, work the program and you will "be amazed before you are half way through....."
You're in my prayers.
Love and hugs,
Doll
__________________
* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
Welcome, and keep coming back. As you grow you will find things get more real. If you feel confused or afraid, let us know. Somebody will say something you need to hear.
