A normal day, in the life of a recovering...from everything guy.:)

I decide to water my lawn.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over
at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I  notice that there
is mail on the porch table that I brought up from
the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail
in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the
can is full.

So, I  decide to put the bills back on the table and take
out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay
the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there
is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so  I go
inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke
that I had been drinking.

I'm goin! g to look for my checks, but first I need to push
the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should
put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of
flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need to be
watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my
reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first
I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back d! own on the counter, fill a
container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I  will
be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's
on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the
living room where it belongs, ! but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills
on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some
towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was
planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the lawn isn't watered,
the car isn't washed,
the bills aren't paid,
there  is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only one check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
I don't remember what I did with the car keys,
and my neighbor called to tell me he turned off the hose
that was flooding the driveway.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long,
and I'm really tired.  I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. 
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC