One comes in the end to realize that there is no permanent pure relationship and there should not be. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Whether we are teenagers in love for the first time, or parents who have been married for twenty years, relationships can turn into obsessions if we're not careful. We can lose our sense of self and only feel complete when we're with the other person. We can become totally attached and dependent on the primary person in our lives for all our needs.
######ROSIE.....oh for me it was just about every relationship i was in IF i was "in love"....boy i was possessive....even close female friends....i CLUNG...if i cared??? i clung........i had no sense of self from way back.....the perp absorbed me.....i exhisted teh way he said i should/ would exhist...that was that.....i drove myself nuts trying to be loved/ accepted/ NOT abandoned.....all i got was abuse and incest AND when times were good?? he abandoned me ........what attention i did get i did not want, but what the hell it was SOME thing.....i felt like i had SOME use..even if it was for his devient evil.....the ONLY time i felt "useful" was when he was in my room.....so what self did i have????? NONE......and it carried on in my relationships......my desperate need to be loved for myself, and to not be hurt or abused caused me to become a controller/ manipulator/ people pleasing on one end..exploding at being used/abused on the other....i would let people use and abuse me and than i would explode with anger and the relationship, sick as it was, would end and create FURTHER anger/resentment/distrust in me....it was a cycle!!! and i didn't know how to get off.....a runaway merrygoround.....too fast for me to just jump, so i had to just "hang on" and i have been "hanging on" SINCE!!!!!!!......i was attached AND dependent and it was always with the wrong people........
We need to remember that we can be a good partner in a relationship only if we feel complete within ourselves. Keeping ourselves open to change in our surroundings, our loved ones, and especially ourselves helps us stay whole. We learn, first, to be ourselves, to make independent choices. We dare to do things on our own. Things as simple as going for a walk by ourselves and smelling the scents of nature. Being ourselves means bringing our own world to meet the world of our loved ones, rather than depending on them to make our world.Am I making my own happiness so I may share it with others?
#####ROSIE..... the key word to me here, is "PARTNER"......not sole contributer....not doing all the work....but a "partner" AND i must feel complete within me to BE a partner......the slogan "let it begin with me" means so much for me......FIRST i have to have a relationship with ME...God...Life....AS me... B4 i can radiate ANYthing out to others.....KNOW how to meet my needs/ wants myself......KNOW that i and my HP are my rescuer and NOone else....i had no such clue of this way of life.......being open to change.....people come and go....they die...leave us....whatever....they are here for a reason....season.....and if i am lucky??? a lifetime...but i don't count on past today anymore.......i work on me....maintain me...keep me "tuned up" for the ebbs and flows of life......i know i have to take care of me.....being the REAL me....i am making my OWN world, that i can share with others..........i have to make my OWN way.....write my OWN life song......than i can share it with others who are SAFE................
PHIL>>>>>>>>>>>>Todays its " You drive the car..Ile put in the gas...Im tired of gettin...bruises...all over my A---um...Butt".
ROSIE>>>>>>>>>>>> i just LOVE hearing from you........ that was toooo cute.............its 59 here and i am freezing....what a woos i am.......whats weather up your way??????? or dare i ask??????
PHIL>>>>>>>>>>>4 inches of snow on the ground...saves one from pushing a lawn mower
ROSIE>>>>>>>i just love the way you look for the gem in the bucket of "you know what"......hehehehehehe......i used to live in mass...and we would tell people that the snow was "clear up'' and they would say "clear up what is that???" and we would say "clear up to our a**"...........U have a good weekend....
