I danced on a Friday when the sky turned black It's hard to dance with the devil on your back,
I met Iain in the autumn after I left high school and we were inseperable, closer than brother`s, loved the same music had a passion for motorbikes spaggetti westerns and horror films he got me my first real job in the spring of the following year in a small factory were we were to work together for the next 6 years.
Girlfriends came and went as did the rock concerts dope and experiments with magic mushrooms, but me and Iain were a constant, so was the booze for me anyway.
Maybe there was something about Iain, I dont know but he had a fragile grip on this life,I met the girl that I was to spend the next 16 years with in september of `86. In late`87 we got a room together on the ground floor of the same building Iain lived at he had survived a motorcycle crash by then and my girlfriend was pregnant with our daughter, me i worked and when i didnt i hung with iain and we drank smoked dope and so it went on.
Early in 1988 Iain and me got made redundant from our factory job, I went on the dole he did part time jobs he survived a car crash and lost his first serious relationship cos he was to wild for the girl and her upstanding family, my girlfriend got bigger and our daughter was born in June of that year.. by November Iain was dead at 25 from pnuemonia and heart faliure and my drinking went to a whole new level.
it`s ok Phil Today I am sober i`ve stopped counting the days but I havn`t picked up since my little slip, nor do I want to, just taking a good hard look at the past, not to change it or wish to, but to view it with honesty,
Good call Badger. When I am working a 4th step I take lots of walks and talk to God as I walk, can't reflect on the past without feeling bad, although I know I must in order to heal. Lots of meetings and close contact with sponsor and HP is so neccessary for me. Don't sit on it for too long...dump it in a 5th step asap...the feelings of resentments and wrong-doings are released through the steps.
cheri said................Don't sit on it for too long...dump it in a 5th step asap...the feelings of resentments and wrong-doings are released through the steps.
rosie........that is what i did....i dwelled on/ wallowed in step 4, THAN "duh" i realized that i can dump it on step 5,6,7.......boy what a freeing experience.....my mental/emotional problems/injuries caused me to drink....my drinking caused me to receive Jesus......so i take my garbage to the cross when i am done looking at it/ confessing it/ accepting it/ ...sometimes i have to REdump becuz i am not sure it was dumped the first time, but it was....it gets easier to KNOW it has been dumped.........peace/ oh!!! that was a hell of a share, badger, thank you for your honesty......rosie
Today I am sober i`ve stopped counting the days but I havn`t picked up since my little slip, nor do I want to, just taking a good hard look at the past, not to change it or wish to, but to view it with honesty, 
badger