hey all, i wrote this on the end of my *justice* post, and really should have done a new post on it........geeeeez can i just work my program the best way that is best for me?????? or have the "sugesstions" now become RULES???????
below is what i wrote in response to a response......
oh i DO want to live a sober life.......
alcohol is something i abused BCUZ , to me, i have problems....i like to work the literature, giving my take/ esh/ on the literature and i work the STEPS.., along with my daily struggles/triumphs as part of my entire recovery program.......as long as i am giving help/hope to others as i work on my program than i know i am doing my job.....i want to know about me ALL about me so i CAN lead a sober and healthy life......
WHY i drank too much??? WHAT pains was i trying to numb???? what are the things i am running away from?????? AS i get to know me....AS i work the program in the best way that works for me, i am finding the WHY's and the HOW's i got this way, and the WHY's i had to numb out!!!!!!!! i don't want to focus so much on the alcohol abuse, but the SOLUTION.....WHY i did it!!! and the SOLUTION to it (getting to know my shortcommings/weaknesses so i can do steps 4,5,6,7, on them AND 8/9 if needed)
i am too busy working on me/ my problems to care how someone else works their program, but only to say to them "hey God bless and hope U do well".........if i don't like the way someone is posting???? i use the sugesstion *take what works...leave the rest*......
i am getting the message here that i am to post in a certain way....that i am to work my recovery in a certain way.......i am going to keep my focus on me/ the 12Steps/ the literature/ diferent 12Step meetings/ sponser work......i know i am on the *right track* thats all that should matter!!!!!
i thought i was free to work my program in what ever way is gonna keep me mentally/ emotionally as WELL AS physically sober.......can i please "think outside of the box too???" the MORE i work this program......the LESS attraction alcohol has to me!!! that is FACT....BCUZ i work these boards, and i give and receive ESH.....and i approach this program with TOTAL honesty......orthodox or no, i am DEDICATED/ and COMMITTED to getting well.....
the bottom line????? i read the diferent posts, and if i can offer some ESH to that person, i do.....if not???? i move on and and i "LIVE AND LET LIVE"...... i also know this!!! i will use alcohol if i dont' work my program...i am on several boards Becuz i am also a codependent and an acoa i also qualify for alanon Bcuz i have 2 alkie brothers with whom i have to deal........i see posts from folks on more than one board, and i say "HOOOORAY for them!!! they are REALLY working their program to be so committed like that"........i "let it begin with me" and i TRY to "keep it simple" and i most DEFLINITELY "live and let live" if i am "in someone ELSES face" i am not keeping the focus on me/ my issues/ my recovery...........thank you DONE
