Just because I'm in recovery and sober today, does not mean my life is a bed of roses. It does not mean I'll get a raise at work and be running the company soon, that my kid won't get into trouble, that I won't lose someone I love, that financial difficulties will go away, or that I'll be "miss happy sunshine" all the freakin' time. It means, I can deal with life, good and bad, without having to drink. Drinking will not make any situation better for me. If anything, it will make it worse in the long run. Being sober today means that I can feel what I'm feeling which includes being sad or pissed off. The difference now is I don't ALWAYS second guess wether I have a right to those feeling - the fog is lifting. As I work the 12 Steps of AA, I find that dealing with life on life's terms gets easier. Yes, easier! Isn't that what's it about. I no longer dwell on what happened, who wronged me, who I wronged or how the hell I got here. I accept the fact that I AM here, that my life was/is unmanagable, that I am an alcoholic. Today, I medicate my disease by working this program and utilizing all it has to offer. God help me to never wallow in self pity ever again! To do that would mean to drink again........
90 days today !!!
Thanks for letting me share.
Doll
__________________
* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
