Today is October 21, 2005 A Great Day for Recovery!
CONSCIENCE
"In matters of conscience, the law of the majority has no place." -- Mohandas Gandhi
How I used to hate myself. So many times I caught myself pleasing the crowd, agreeing with people I did not understand or respect, laughing at jokes and opinions I loathed. How I used to hate myself!
Today I have a healthy respect for what the majority may feel but I also trust and follow my conscience. I know that to be in the minority is not necessarily to be in the wrong. My recovery insists that I listen to my conscience, that inner self that is based on a program of honesty, that spiritual cornerstone of my life that I have come to trust.
Now I can say to people, "I do not agree." Today I give myself permission to disagree with family, friends and colleagues.
May I never follow the crowd because of the numbers: God is one.
"Joe C., my sponsor...gave me some good advice. 'Take the words success and failure out of your vocabulary. Replace them with honesty and effort, he said.' "One day, another old-timer...asked, 'Why are you so afraid of losing? Don't you trust God?' Heatedly, I point out that like him, I was in marketing and was paid to succeed. "His response: 'Don't you know that success and failure share a common denominator?' He paused and then really let me have it. 'Both are temporary!'" From "Win or Lose:" AA GrapevineŠ, August 2001, page 25 __________________
yup...everything is temporary...the only thing constant is change...that and the fact that i will ALWAYS be an alkie!!!
oh i remember how i *sold out* sooo many times, JUST to fit in/ be accepted......abandonment issues underlied that
saying "yes" when "no" is what i felt....thank God those days are over......now i take care of me.....and i say to myself. "i cannot take care of ME....AND other people's feelings"...thank you for this share....rosie
