I dont exactly know the proper way to do it, I'm not sure if there's some sort of protocol or etiquette, all I know is that I am totally hopeless on my own...alcohol is too strong for me, it's beaten me and without help it will always have me in it's grip. This morning I prayed, pleaded and sucked up to god as best I could. I sincerely asked for help, I dont know what I was expecting, harp music, a burning bush, who knows, but nothing really happened. I still felt hungover and sad so I thought maybe I'm not doing it right. I thought maybe if I posted about it might help. Maybe if right in front of my dumb face I saw it in words I typed it might click.
I am powerless over alcohol - my life has become unmanageable.
I believe that only a power greater than duane can restore me to sanity.
I am turning my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand him.
NOW is the time for you to get to a meeting and talk to someone. If not during, go early or stay late and grab one person........ My first surrender was on my knees, I didn't see a burning bush either, the 2nd a few hours later was on this board and the next day I went to my first AA and did it all again. That's when it all started for me.
keep me posted.
Lots and lots of hugs.
Doll
-- Edited by Doll at 15:01, 2005-10-06
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
Hey Duane, It gets easier, you do begin to feel better and begin to face life on lifes terms without the drink. You have to let time take time. Taking the first three steps everyday , as many times as you need to is a great beginning.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Happy Thanksgiving ! Eat enough for me too, I'll do the same for you when I celebrate next month.
Have a great sober day, or at least have a sober day.
Big step my friend, that is step 1. The God you choose can be anything you believe in. ASAP you need to go to a Face to Face meeting, I've really found them usefull after my slip.
You have made good progress for a new starter. Everyone has a slip occationally, the main objective is to make sobriety the norm and from that, the rest of the program kicks in and life gets better.
We are here to help just as you are here to help. It won't feel long before you've got 6 month sober time, and then a year.
Stick with it Duane, one day at a time it will get better.
Best wishes.
Chris.
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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
"Many doctors and psychiatrists agree with our conclusions. One of these men, staff member of a world-renowned hospital, recently made this statement to some of us: 'What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholic's plight is, in my opinion, correct. As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from divine help. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. People like you are too heartbreaking. Though not a religious person, I have profound respect for the spiritual approach in such cases as yours. For most cases, there is virtually no other solution.'"
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 43~
I made that Step also, by myself, in desparation, and things didn't get perfect all at once.. but.. that was the bottom,, I sunk no lower,, I did at least turn around to start the upward climb. I had to get detoxed in a hospital, and I started the 12 Steps there. I talked to God, about who is is,, how much I know or don't know him and need to know him and be in a relatoinship with him. My understanding changed,, is still changing. I had this idea that God was kind of sadistically waiting for me to slip up so he could cast me into hell,, but that changed to a God of mercy who was just waiting for me to stop being my own God so He could help. I got a '12 Steps and 12 Traditions ' book and went through that, got some workbooks, and then I went to my first outside meeting... but it is better not to wait.. and they have the '12 x 12' books.
hey... you are on the right track now,, keep coming
remember, progress and not perfection,
do your best and God does the rest,
a day at a time, a step at a time,, a moment at a time sometimes
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
