It's right there in my drawer... :(

alev430 · Member

It's right there in my drawer... :(

jonijoni · MIP Old Timer

Throw them in the nearest dumpster.

I too had an experience where I was so incredibly tempted. I had about 2 years sober at the time, and a boyfirend had dumped me because he was still in love with his ex. Then a week later, he asked me to come over and take care of his dog every day, because he was going on a trip to clear his head. ACK! I loved the dog to pieces, and that is the ONLY reason I did it. When I was leaving there one night after taking care of the dog, I opened the refrigerator and there was a whole bottle of wine in there. I could easily have drowned my sorrows by getting sauced alone.

But I took that bottle and threw it out. In my particular mental state at the time, I knew that I had to come back for several days for the dog, and I did not want to be tempted. That bottle would have kept calling my name, just as the beer is calling yours. It is time to make a decision, my friend. I was so glad I threw that bottle away. To boot, I stayed sober and met the man I would marry shortly after that. I would have never even met him had I started drinking again at that particular time!

Please do the right thing for YOU tonight. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. You never know what tomorrow holds, and what you might miss if you pick up that drink.

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Get rid of them. Pour them down the sink or give them away. Reward yourself by going out to eat or see a movie. Obsessing about drinking is more of an indication of a problem than drinking itself. "Normal people" don't think like that. Nor do they lock beer away in a drawer lol. sorry that's funny. Obviously you've had some incidents and made a decision not to drink (good call

) wouldn't it be a good idea to learn how to rid yourself of the obsession to drink, so that you can be at peace with it?

Dean

alev430 · Member

Thanks guys, I ended up throwing them out. Yeah I didn't realize how weird it sounded that I kept beer locked in my drawer lol, a couple months ago I woke up one bleary-eyed morning and inexplicably there were two beers in my purse, so I locked them away for safekeeping.

jonijoni--Wow that is strength, throwing out a bottle of wine in that mind state! Right after I read your response I just got up, unlocked my drawer, disguised the beer in a shopping bag, and chucked it down the communal chute :)

StPeteDean--I totally agree that I need to work on the obsession more than the behavior. I know the former is much more trouble than the latter because when I'm not obsessing over alcohol I'm obsessing over food or some other external source of gratification--I need to find that inner source of strength to alleviate all my obsessive tendencies, it's one of my biggest goals in life, truthfully.

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

"I need to find that inner source of strength to alleviate all my obsessive tendencies, it's one of my biggest goals in life, truthfully."

Alev, you're in the right place. That's exactly what this program, and the 12 steps are about. How to bring about a change in ourselves, so that we won't feel compelled to do anything. We will become actors instead of reactors. It says that someplace in the what we call the "Big Book". Have you been to a meeting or done any reading the AA book?

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm

-- Edited by StPeteDean at 00:41, 2008-04-26

Tipsy McStagger · Senior Member

Open one up...smell it...then visualize the last time you woke up hungover, feeling completely demoralized and suffering from agonizing shame, remorse and gut wrenching guilt.

Then smell it again.

Then dump it in the toilet =)

alev430 · Member

Haha tipsymcstagger that is a good tip, I would have plenty of material to draw on for that.

Dean--I actually checked out the big blue AA book from the library today, I read a good portion of it. I am trying to determine whether or not I am an alcoholic. Part of me thinks maybe not because I'm not physically dependent on it. But the way that I started drinking makes me think I am. Within a week or two of my first shot of liquor (this was almost exactly 2 years ago) I was getting piss drunk by myself 2 or 3 nights a week. I resorted to mouth wash a couple of times during that phase because my parents started keeping a dry house. Today I told myself, that was so long ago, I'm not like that anymore. I cried in the library while I was reading, because I was thinking if I commit myself to the AA mentality, I will never get drunk at Saturday morning pre-football game keggers again. Yup, the thought actually reduced me to tears. Football I could take or leave, but I loved being drunk at ostensibly alcohol-free times, like weekend mornings or Tuesday evenings. Wow. And then I managed to be surprised when I did miserably in school last semester...

My friend invited me to a flip cup tournament tonight at a house party. I told her I was just gonna stay in and do homework tonight, which is true. But sooner or later I'm gonna have to try going out sober on the weekends, and hopefully having fun. I just don't think I'm ready to try yet though.

Doll · MIP Old Timer

AA is a great place to hang out on weekends! We have all sorts of fun where I am. We do SuperBowl parties, we celebrate holidays, etc. And now that I have made sober friends Saturday nights are pretty easy. We get together for a movie, dinner, meet at the gym, or whatever...........Life doesn't have to be over just cause you no longer drink. Life began for me only when I got sober.

Hang tough, young one. Think of all the problems you've saved yourself from by sobering up now instead of 10, 15 or 20 yrs from now.......

Tipsy McStagger · Senior Member

alev430 I am certainly not in any position to give advice or pass on any words of wisdom but damn have I been in your position. Part of me wanting to stop, another part of me not knowing if I can, the addict part not wanting to even try and shoving thoughts in my head like "You're blowing it out of proportion!" and "You don't have a problem, you're just doing what people your age do". I don't know what to say to help you but you're doing the right thing by searching for answers. You may be young and you may be wondering what the hell you're going to do with yourself being a sober college student but you can also take some comfort in thinking about all the pain and misery you can avoid by not waiting until things are really terrible. Some people have to lose everything before they're ready, others are fortunate enough to recognize they have problem and do exactly what you're doing, getting help before their lives are completely fucked...pardon my french.

I wish you well.

And what the hell is "flip cup" tournament?

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hi Alev,

the good news is that you don't have to figure out if "you're an alcoholic" right now. All that matters is that, If you've determined that it's not safe for you to drink, and you decided you shouldn't drink because of that reason then this is probably the best place to learn how to not drink (or unlearn drinking). AA has a simple policy- "the only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking". That's it. You don't have to say, do, or pay anything. We have a program that is based on suggestions.

If you call your local AA number in your phone book, and ask them where some young peoples' meetings are they will tell you. They will even offer for a couple young women to take you to your first meeting (seems like I've said this before weirdface

). You'll find a group of people near your age that are having fun (we really insist on having fun) do all kinds of things
without drinking. I'm leaving now to go to Ft. DeSoto Beach (#1 rated beach in the country for several years) for our annual AA picknick with 2000 people. I'm riding my motorcycle down with a few other sober riders. Riding sober is really a good idea dontcha think? smile

-- Edited by StPeteDean at 11:30, 2008-04-27

jonijoni · MIP Old Timer

Alev.... ROCK ON< MY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!

When you can't think straight, let AA folks do your thinking for you!!! It works every time for me....

Doesn't it feel great to be sober one more day????
((((((HUGS))))))

-- Edited by jonijoni at 20:40, 2008-04-28