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Phil


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Yupper :)
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Key to Serenity

The Key that Unlocks the Door to Happiness

By BuddyT

It seems almost too simple to be true, but acceptance -- accepting things exactly as they are -- can be the key that unlocks the door to happiness.

It may be one of the most referenced passages in recovery literature. It's from Page 449 of Alcoholics Anonymous or The Big Book as it is widely known:
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

For me, serenity began when I learned to distinguish between those things that I could change and those I could not. When I admitted that there were people, places, things, and situations over which I was totally powerless, those things began to lose their power over me. I learned that everyone has the right to make their own mistakes, and learn from them, without my interference, judgement, or assistance!

The key to my serenity is acceptance. But "acceptance" does not mean that I have to like it, condone it, or even ignore it. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it... and I have to accept that fact.

Nor does it mean that I have to accept "unacceptable behavoir." Today I have choices. I no longer have to accept abuse in any form. I can choose to walk away, even if it means stepping out into the unknown. I no longer have to fear "change" or the unknown. I can merely accept it as part of the journey.

I spent years trying to change things in my life over which I was powerless, but did not know it. I threatened, scolded, manipulated, coerced, pleaded, begged, pouted, bribed and generally tried everything I could to make the situation better -- only watch as things always got progressively worse.

I spent so much time trying to change the things I could not change, it never once occurred to me to simply accept them as they were.

Now when things in my life are not going the way I planned them, or downright bad things happen, I can remind myself that whatever is going on is not happening by accident. There's a reason for it and it is not always meant for me to know what that reason is.

That change in attitude has been the key to happiness for me. I know I am not the only who has found that serenity.



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StPeteDean


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That's it in a nut shell. Like the "grieving process" for instance. The last stop on the hellish ride is, you got it Acceptance. Such as many other trips we go on that usually involve dry drunks, depression.... untill we hit acceptance, we don't get past it. We often have to get physically sick to break our will down enough to give it up and move on to acceptance. Even agreeing to disagree, is acceptance. So the next time you're banging your head on the wall, remember that it's a lot easier to go straight to the acceptance as soon as you realize that it's one of the "....things we cannot change"

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Sobrietyspell


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I met my Sponsor's Sponsor on Friday. It was a gift to meet someone a little way back in the legacy that is being passed onto & shared with me. She said "If it's a problem then there's a solution. If there's no solution then it's a fact & to be accepted. Simplified a few things for me :) Thanks, Phil & for your words also, Dean. Love in recovery, Danielle x

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lostmdboy


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Page 449 always gets me!!

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lani


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Great share Phil:
(I have to laugh about Dean's reference to "nut shell" cuz I just shared the same words a few moments ago on another response! Great nuts think alike!)

Today I accept that fact that as crazy as I drive my husband and pray that he would accept me as I am after 20 some years, I cannot change him or the way he feels about me in regards to some matters!!

I think in my head, "let it go, is it worth it" and wish he would do the same....But, as I said, cant change him trying to change me so I'll just accept it and try not to print this out and set it on his desk! heehee

Its always an experience to meet someone who has touch the lives of our sponsers. I met a man with 45 years who was a huge influence on my sponser! I thanked him enormously for being there and sharing his E,S and H with her so she could pass it on to me...Lani

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