Hi folks, new to this board, seems there is a lot of great info here. I'm a 48 yr old guy who's just completed a 28 day treatment program for my alcohol addiction. I am pumped, full of great info and desire (pink cloud) and am in the process of going to meetings etc. One of the things I must do is get a sponsor. I am currently seeing a Psychologist that specializes in addiction and find him great to deal with. I am basically doing step 4 with him, digging into many of the pain and negative emotions that have most likely been the cause of my desire to drink. All of that guilt and crap that I have buried for so long. I am wondering if a sponsor would be as beneficial to me at this time? I intend to see the Psychologist for many more weeks as I believe we will really get somewhere. He has worked with addicts in Police depts, prisoners in jail and civilians like me. Any advice would be welcomed by you.
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Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha
Welcome Scott, Glad to hear your doing well! The first couple things I was told was 1)sponser, 2) homegroup..... I would check out some meetings and get to know a few people. Listen to what they have to share and pick a sponser "who has what you want."
I picked a sponser day 2 and didnt even know her. Ends up we get along great! Best of luck to you! This is a great board and I think you'll get alot out of it! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I also have a terrific counselor, and have been through treatment in the past. As I see it, a sponsor differs from a counseloor though, in that I see/spend time with a sponsor on a non-professional level. My sponsor will helped me to get through the steps, while at the same time it helps the sponsor to stay sober, by helping me. It is a really good idea to work the Steps with the guidance of someone who has also worked them for his/her own alcoholism, as it allows that Higher Power thing a chance to grow and flourish within us, one helping another. It would be a shame to deny another alcoholic the privilege of sharing the journey with you!
You might also run this by your counselor, and if he is familiar with AA, he might have some other good reasons for you to get a sponsor. I am so glad I have mine. She has been there for me all hours of the day and night, and taught me how to give away what I have been given. She has become a great friend as well. It is something you will not want to miss, Scott!
Joni
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
My sponsor is not only my sponsor, she's also my friend. It's awesome! She helps me work my program, but she's also available to just chat with about unrelated AA things & we 'hang out" some. AND the best part, when something is bothering me, I find it much easier to pick up that 500lb phone knowing I'm calling a friend.
Congrats on your sobriety.......God bless.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Well done on completing a 28 day program for your alcohol addiction. It really does sound as if you are all fired up about staying sober and that is great.
For me, my sponsor is a great friend and someone who guides me through the twelve steps. Because she is a recovering alcoholic she will know how I feel about day-to-day things and new situations which can affect the quality of my sobriety. I am fortunate to have a wonderful sponsor and I would be lost without her.
I picked my sponsor because I liked the quality of her sobriety and what she had to say in meetings. I felt that I could relate well to her and that she would be a good influence on my sobriety. Now, I have a sponsee and whenever I have contact with her it does me good, too.
Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Thanks for the great messages, I am seeing the point of a sponsor. I think this may take some time, need to get to a few meetings and meet more people, so far nobody I have met would be who I'd pick.....a bit of patience will help....
Scott
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Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha
Temporary sponsors are just fine. You don't need an aged Guru that perfect cause people just aren't like that anyhow. Your counselor will be a good safety net but they are only temporary too. sooner or later it comes time to cut the knot. Living life on lifes terms in AA with an AA sponsor and other friends,Taking part in and being a part of AA as part of a new life long term are the vision I have worked toward. Signing up for the lifetime membership therapy package would have been fine with me but just like sponsors, they are human too. The cloud dissolved and the pedestals eventually crumbled away and my fears of such vanished as i realized for the first time in many years my feet were planted on solid ground.
There has been a lot of good things said so far. Like a "counselor is only temporary", so why wait for spring, do it now, get sponsor. Someone who has what you want, I've always suggested that. Tuggboat couldn't have said it better than his opening two sentences:
Temporary sponsors are just fine. You don't need an aged Guru that perfect cause people just aren't like that anyhow.
Sponsors change as time passes anyway, I've seen a lot of people "outgrow" their sponsor, so they find another. It's like chess, you don't get better playing someone with less skill than you, you look for someone who has the knowledge and skills you want.
I've always considered a sponsor as my "friend", again as many have stated here.
Go to a few meetings, listen to what people say, when someone strikes you right, let them know your looking for a sponsor and ask them.
Now just something else to consider, from a meeting I was at years ago. The subject was: Sponsors
For hundreds of years the treating of alcoholism was in the hands of the professionals and the results weren't good. It took two drunks talking together, supporting each other to do the trick. Why? Because they understood each other from personal real world experiences, not text books.
Think of all the times you've been involved in a "formal teaching" environment, even something as simple as lets say a computer course, then back at the office you'll hear, "Forget what you learned there, we'll show you how we do it in the real world."
Your sponsor is in the real world, and he's been where you are coming from, so he understands you!
Just my thoughts. Bruce
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Until I know what I'm doing, I'll ask questions from someone who has what I want. If I don't like the answer, it's probably the one I need!
