Do you think it's possible?

Symposium · Member

Do you think it's possible?

mikey50 · Senior Member

Welcome..Symposium

I would suggest you read the Big Book pages 30-31 More About Alcoholism
you can read the Big Book online

Good luck to you

Russell smile

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hello Symposium and welcome,

A better question, to ask yourself, is why did/do you feel so uncomfortable in your own skin that you needed to medicate yourself so much daily, and what affect do you think that it's having on your health mentally/physically? Or is there any good reason to drink at all?

As for your question, on an individual basis, only you can answer that thru trial and error via attempts at controlled drinking. So Both your question and your own attempt to find the answer are text book. Here's a link to chapter 3 that Mikey suggested.

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/BigBook/pdf/BigBook_chapt3.pdf

good luck in your journey to self discovery,

Dean

Quetzal · MIP Old Timer

Hi Symposium,

Welcome to MIP.

Only you can know the answer to whether you can control your drinking through trying it over a sustained period and seeing what happens. I know that this alcoholic tried many, many times and could never control it. But, we are all different.

Please read the chapter of Big Book that Russell and Dean suggested. It can only help.

Please keep posting and letting us know how it goes for you, won't you?

Take care,

Carol

Doll · MIP Old Timer

Symposium wrote:

Hello.

I'm an alcoholic currently working on controling my drinking. Basically just being a social drinker. Not getting drunk, but not quiting entirely.

For the past week I have succeeded in this. I still feel that feeling, though. The voice that tells me to drink more and more and more. I resist, but it's still there. Still making me feel uncomfortable.

I used to drink a lot. Used to be until this week I would get drunk every night. I would black out most nights, embarass myself, my boyfriend, and other people. And then Monday I decided it was enough, I was tired of it, and I wanted to stop having the shakes, feeling like I was going to explode if I didn't have a drink. For three years (since I was 18) I've been like this.

Do any of you think it's possible to 'unbecome' being an alcoholic? To learn to control the urge so that you don't have to get drunk, but you can still drink occasionally in social situations?

I never thought I could, but I'm starting to believe I can. Is it dangerous of me to have this confidence? I know I'm still sick. But I just want to be normal.

Please be honest and open. If I'm out of line in any way, let me know. I'm new here and I don't want to offend anyone.

Fact - Once an alcoholic ALWAYS an alcoholic. There is no cure.

I too have managed to 'control' my drinking, but it was always short lived (a few months at most).

Fact - Alcoholism is progessive, the more you feed it the worse it will get.

How miserable it must be to work so hard at 'control' -

If you realize how sick you are, then you must realize your disease it's what's taken over and put these thoughts in your mind ???

I, too would LOVE to be normal! Guess what! Ain't gonna happen.

Sending prayers and hugs your way....

lostmdboy · Veteran Member

I always heard once you become a pickle, you can never go back to being a cucumber. I really think you should read the BB, and maybe go to a meeting or two. I tried to control my drinking every way I could think of, and nothing worked untill I surrender completely to the fact that I could not control it. Alcohol control me completely!

TenderheartsKS · Senior Member

"For the past week I have succeeded in this. I still feel that feeling, though. The voice that tells me to drink more and more and more. I resist, but it's still there. Still making me feel uncomfortable."

Wow, that doesn't sound like much fun to me!

To be honest, after 4 years of continuous sobriety, I thought I could become a 'social' drinker.

Needless to say, my experiment failed miserably.

Today, I have no doubt that I AM an alcoholic, and this disease is progressive. As someone else said, once you're a pickle, you can't go back to being a cucumber.

I find it's much easier to put my energy and effort into staying sober rather than to stay in denial and try to control my drinking :)

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

lostmdboy wrote:

I always heard once you become a pickle, you can never go back to being a cucumber. I really think you should read the BB, and maybe go to a meeting or two. I tried to control my drinking every way I could think of, and nothing worked untill I surrender completely to the fact that I could not control it. Alcohol control me completely!

that's awesome, now I need to find out what kind of pickle I am?

TenderheartsKS · Senior Member

StPeteDean wrote:

lostmdboy wrote:

I always heard once you become a pickle, you can never go back to being a cucumber. I really think you should read the BB, and maybe go to a meeting or two. I tried to control my drinking every way I could think of, and nothing worked untill I surrender completely to the fact that I could not control it. Alcohol control me completely!

that's awesome, now I need to find out what kind of pickle I am?

Personally I prefer to think of myself as a Vlasic Kosher!

Doll · MIP Old Timer

StPeteDean wrote:

that's awesome, now I need to find out what kind of pickle I am?

Sweet Gherkin for me biggrin

Symposium · Member

Thank you so much everyone for your replies and opinions.

I read the chapter and I must say it was like reading a book about myself. Especially the methods of control.

The reason I decided to 'self medicate' as one of you put it was because I was honestly afraid to stop cold turkey. Every day around 3 pm I would start to have withdrawals. The shakes, jumpiness, this horrible crawling of my skin.

So it turned into me kind of 'lowering my dose' so to speak in order to eventually stop drinking. And then I get this idea in my head, "Hey maybe I can control it!"

And I have, but from reading the replies here I can see that many of you have also tried and eventually failed.

I'm just afraid. I'm sure all of you understand that. Alcohol was my "friend" for so long, I'm scared to let it go. I feel so stupid saying that. But it's true. And I keep reading that chapter, feeling dreadful because I think part of me knows I'll have to stop eventually, for good.

Thanks again. I think I'll stick around. I already like this place. :)

LINDA · Veteran Member

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP, Heather! Controlled drinking? Jeesh, I reached 6mths sobriety & didn't know if I could carry on in abstinance. It was doing my head in. I wanted to let go. Have some fun. Be normal. I have a friend who has experimented with both. She said 'You're 6mths sober, if you really want to try controlled drinking then you're in a good position to do so.' I said 'Controlled drinking? Nah, that's not me. I couldn't bear the thought. It took me so much concentration last time I tried & it couldn't last, besides, even the thought of trying to control my drinking seemed too much like hard work & defeated the object of why I drank in the first place.' I spent this day in a bar on St Paddy's Day the day before my 30th, looking around at others having that alcohol kind of fun & thought 'Nah, I've been here, I've done all this, for 15 years & now want to try for a different kind of life, one where I can learn to be myself, 'be normal' & enjoy living for it's own sake'. That day helped me to change & to carry on, sticking at abstinance & today, a few months & another Xmas & New Year later, I'm glad I have. I'm glad that I can deal with myself on a daily basis helped by others who are on a similar journey with the same purpose ~ to live sober 1Day@aTime. I'm learning about me. All this process is beginning to make me feel quite normal as opposed to the eternal fear & insecurity I felt before. I'm learning boundaries. I'm learning mutual respect. I'm learning how to function well & develop skills as opposed to how completely uninvestable I was before. I had no confidence. I had no self~belief. A.A. has helped me to learn all of this. To live sober & have a life after & without alcohol. It's amazing, Heather. It's hard work & takes dedication, liitle steps, commitment, honesty, trial & error but the rewards.. I wish them for you. I hope you gain lots from being here with us. I hope you gain your heart's desires & already you have the most important desire you can already work towards fulfilling ~ A desire to stop drinking. What a great place to start. I wish you my best, Heather. Here for you, Danielle x

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

"Alcohol was my "friend" for so long, I'm scared to let it go. I feel so stupid saying that."

Heather, we're all "stupid" like that

. That's the biggest betrayal of all, that alcohol became our best friend and then turned on us. And when we have to give it up, it's like losing a best friend, with a bit of grieving the loss of our drinking and drinking buddies. But that doesn't last long and soon we are making new sober friends in AA meetings with people just like us. These are the same people I loved to drink with now only sober versions, a bit more even tempered and lot more reliable lol. They're still the kind that would do anything for you.

When I first knew that I had to quit drinking and knew that AA was the place to do that, I thought it was like a death sentence. A death to all the fun in my life. I couldn't understand why many people that I saw in meetings were pretty darn happy and It took getting to know several that had a few years of sobriety to realize that they were having more fun than I was when I was drinking. They were also doing things that I couldn't when I was drinking like pursuing careers, going to college, having the own businesses, traveling... It was exactly opposite of what I thought I'd find.

AA has young peoples meetings in more populated parts of the country. The local AA intergroup lists their phone number in the phone book and has recovering AAs
there to answer questions, give times and locations of meetings and usually be able to arrange for someone to take you to a meeting. I went to my first meeting when I was 15 or 16yo and the person that took me was a bit older than me, but rode motorcyles and I really related to him. I actually tracked him down about 15 years later that to thank him.

You should give it a try, you can always start drinking again.

Dean

-- Edited by StPeteDean at 13:35, 2008-01-14

Phil · MIP Old Timer

Do you think it's possible?

Nope.:)

lani · MIP Old Timer

Hi Sym:

My sponser told me that even though I was controlling my drinking, I had the "yet" to come.

I didnt drink and drive...yet
I didnt black out...yet
I didnt feel like crap in the morning ...yet...

These are all just little things...

In the news here, within 2 weeks-2 people, with jobs, nice families, in college...drove down the wrong side of the highway and the first guy hit a car head on and killed a family of 5! The other girl hit a car head on, nobody died but she's in a mess now.....

Both these kids thought they werent going to driving that night but "somehow" ended up behind the wheel! How sad for all involved! These were the kind of things that scared me enough to take a good hard look at my drinking! Keep reading the books, hit a few meetings and then decide!

Wishing you luck!!! Lani

Doll · MIP Old Timer

Symposium wrote:

........ I think part of me knows I'll have to stop eventually, for good.

3 Choices: Locked up, Covered up, Sobered up

image.php?type=image&partner_id=183747&product_id=1713672&img_id=1&size=huge&bgcolor_images=white

-- Edited by Doll at 19:48, 2008-01-15