I did my first 4th & 5th step last Saturday. As I posted before, I was exhausted for a few days afterwards, but then began to feel so much better...Now....Not feeling so good. I've started having very colorful, crazy dreams ! AND I've had 3 or 4 drinking dreams, too! I, again, am exhausted. Just don't feel rested, especially waking up in a panic over the drinking ones!
What the Hell is causing this?Did I not do my inventory thoroughly? I think I did. WTF is going on?!
Anyone else have this (or a similar) experience?
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
My only suggestion would be to talk to your sponsor about this.
From what I am reading, you had certain expectations of how you would feel once you completed the 4th and 5th step, and apparently the first few days met those expectations.
Somewhere in the big book it does say that our serenity is inversely proportional to our expectations.
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"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguements and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
~Herbert Spencer
My sponsor is in Canada until Wednesday, so haven't been able to talk with her (my reason for posting) .....I don't think I had any expectations, I believe I've just sorta sat back and waited. ** I'm just wondering if anyone else experienced this type of 'craziness' after steps 4 & 5 and trying to figure out if the dreams are somehow related. One may have nothing whatever to do with the other.....
**scratching head
Thanks for the thoughts.....
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
I remember when I did my fourth and fifth steps with my sponsor. I felt so light and free for several days and then I started to feel a general lack of serenity. I mentioned it to my sponsor and she said that the same thing had happened to her.
I think that, with me, it was bringing up a load of bad memories and it took a few days for it all to settle back down again. But, I really did start to feel so much better after that. I can't remember if I had drinking dreams or not, but I know that they always disturb me anyway and I wake up panicking.
I hope that it won't seem too long until Wednesday and you can chat with your sponsor.
Take care, won't you?
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Hi Doll; Dont know what happened to my post earlier.... I mentioned that I also am working on step 4. I know for me Ive too had some crazy dreams. I think it has to do with reliving all the old times weve had and memories. Now that are minds are clearer, and were no longer numb to everything, things are just right there for us to face!!
Maybe its a relief to get it all off your chest and then...Bam...we have to deal with the "wreakage of our past"
Its good to probably talk it thru w/ the experienced ones here and your sponser. If anything, thanks, its a heads up for me!!!!
Have a great day! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Doll, what you need to do is dive into 6 and 7. Actually you see, how it is done in the Big Book is you do 6 & 7 an hour after the 5th step. That is how my 33 year sober sponsor did it with me. Step 7 is what will calm you down. Hope this helps. PS: you can do 6 and 7 without a sponsor, just read the book and follow it exact.) Allison
Allison, you made me think really hard about this and I thought I had done 6 & 7, but realized after reading your response, I'm not ready to let go of ALL my defects of character...
After asking myself the question in the BB, " Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? . "
That's where the 'trouble turning my brain off' came into play.......and the truth is, no, I'm not ready,,,,,,,,,,,,I am now in the process of asking for the "willingness"....
(((hugs)))
-- Edited by Doll at 17:59, 2008-01-13
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
like the others said, you stired up some stuff but you've got to believe that you're putting that behind you now and moving on to a better life. Part of this process (a very big part) is forgiving ourselves (and others). We're human and on top of that we have a disease that exagerated our charactor defects. We're actively working on our CDs when we are working the steps, and identifying them is the first step. It'll pass, you're paying a dues a little here but it's worth it. I hope you feel better.
Hello Doll Yes i too went threw that wen i did my inventorie ....it lasted about a week with me i had a lot of anger and depression too....but wen i came out of it i started to have spiritulal experince...i felt great like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder .......that was 11 years ago ,,,this month i have 15 years sobriety and i would not be here if it wasnt or the 4th and 5th step...good luck to you
Feeling better today.....I've never heard anyone share anything regarding the 4th & 5th other than "it's all good" so I was not prepared to be in a "funk" - not even my sponsor said anything.....Sooooo Spent some time in the 12&12 last night. I'd forgotton step 1 is the only one that has to be done 100%! DOH! Typical alkie!
Thanks for being here.......
(((hugs)))
Jen
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
