Hey y'all... I haven't been on here in awhile... I've more or less been not functioning lately... getting to meetings at least, but other than that... my sleep is all screwed up, not sleeping then sleeping way too much... I slept from about 4 or 5 last night till almost 8 this morning, after being up all night the night before... got up and got ready for my appt and stuff, got home, now I'm dead tired again and still gotta go to Corinth and get some stuff taken care of... ugh...
I saw my new psychiatrist today, it went well, and as of tonight I'll be back on "happy pills" lol He insisted on prescribing sleeping pills, though I kept telling him I don't want them. They are non-addictive, but I used to even abuse over the counter sleeping pills, one wouldn't work so I'd take more... at one point I was taking 5 pills a night tryin to get them to knock me out... he told me I shouldn't need them though cuz one med I'm going on always helped me sleep. But I got the sleeping pills filled anyway.
Gotta get bloodwork done in a few days cuz of one of the meds, I asked the dr to add in a liver function test on there, just cuz I've never had it tested after 10+ years drinking, so he added that to the list. I go back to the shrink and my therapist in 2 weeks.
so.... guess I'm on the road to getting better... I hope. Like I said, I've hardly been functioning lately, and that's really not good. I'm dead tired today, but think I'm gonna go outside and work on my car... my back speakers are blown, and I'm taking my stereo speakers and hooking them up in my car lol It'll be good for me and my dog to spend some time outside... it's sunny and 55 degrees here, real nice... then headin to town to do my pre-op for my ear surgery I'm having Monday... plannin to get to a meeting tonight maybe... but it's an hour and a half away and I'm just so tired, we'll see how I feel by then.
Hope everyone's doing alright... I'll try to get on here more often, hopefully if I start becoming human again I'll be around more... lol
Sounds like you are on the right path, Chickn. That you are going to meetings sounds like functioning to me. No matter what else I do, if I'm not going to meetings I am not functioning, even if I think I am, so be kind to yourself because that is something good you are doing despite how you feel otherwise.
I had to laugh about the speakers. Sounds like you are pretty good at Jerry-Rigging stuff too. I just rigged my cable upstairs which I had accidentally torn out of the wall. Long story, but it is "fixed", and good enough!!
Have a great evening!
Joni
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
Hi Lisa! Just a quick hello,,,,,Making meatloaf for the fam then off to work!!!! Yuck! You sound well! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I've read and been told by a GP the sleeping is normal. It's take quite a long time for the body to heal from all the damage of alcohol.....As for taking sleeping pills when you don't need them, why not just tell the Doc "NO"? They may be considered "non-addictive" but that just means they're non-narcotic. Addiction lies within the mind also, as we alkies know.
Just keep coming back......(((hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
lol Joni, I knew someone in high school who had a car that had no radio in it at all... he took a stereo with pretty big speakers, put it in his back seat, rigged it up to have power run to it, and used that for his car stereo lol I'm not goin quite that far... I'm thinkin if I take the old speakers out, I should hear the stereo speakers just fine from my trunk... if not... well, my back seats fold down, so I could just put them in the back seat and have them wired in the trunk lol But I didn't get around to it today, lost track of time, had to run to town and do the pre-op, didn't get back till after dark... so guess that'll get done tomorrow lol
Thanks Lani, wouldn't quite say I'm doing "well" but tryin hard to "act myself into a new way of thinking" I guess? lol at times I'm alright, most the time I'm not... today I've been going 90 million miles a minute and mostly feelin ok except for bein so drained.
Doll, I've heard the sleep thing is normal too when first getting sober, but it was better till recently when the mania hit so bad... and it's really screwing me up. The dr was right about probably not needing them, I'm about to head to bed now and it's only 8pm, but the other meds he gave me got me real tired (on top of already being tired all day). I knew that one I used to be on would. He just said he needs to make sure I get at least 7 hours uninterrupted sleep every night otherwise he wouldn't know if the meds are workin or not if I'm still stayin up 30-40 hours and only normally sleeping a few hours, and I know he's right about that.
That pre-op thing I did today took forever, tons of questions, plus blood work and a chest xray... I thought it was kinda funny, the nurse told me if I have any fever before or after the surgery to call my doctor... then realized I'd already told her I've had a persistent fever for over a month now lol So she said if it got worse to call him lol Then when she was askin if I ever have numbness in my arms or legs, I was like um... I have sciatica in my leg, and carpal tunnel... which I'd already told her lol just kinda laughed at that... course it's routine stuff they have to ask... but anyway all that's taken care of, they'll call me Friday to tell me when to be there Monday... I still gotta find someone to take me though, if I can't get anyone out here to take me, then my dad will... my mom had offered, but we're not talking now... long story, but I told her not to call me any more, that I'm done with her crap... so now I have nothing to do wtih her, or my stepdad, which is good... but also can't talk to my little brother either (don't know if he'd talk to me anyway after the crap my mom's putting in his head) *sigh* so... gotta start askin around...
Ugh... my mind's still goin way too fast... but I'm dead tired, I'm getting to bed...
I'm glad you're making it to meetings, chica. That sounds like good functioning to me too. God's waiting for you on the other side with a gift when you're ready. Maybe you feel you're going through the motions & travelling uphill for now. The pressure will ease soon & you'll have the joy from your efforts. Well done for making it back here & letting us know how you are. I'm tired too from restless nights & work patterns. My reward will come too. I'll remember to slow down & let things happen & unfold too. I'm heading into town tomorrow to pick up the basic counselling course I've been promising myself. Time to put the faith into action & reap the rewards to be had. I hope & I'm willing to work for & have this work for me too, if that be Willed for me ;) I'll remember you in mine too. Nite Godbless, chica. Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
