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Post Info TOPIC: Easier softer ways? Tried em all..:)
Phil


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Easier softer ways? Tried em all..:)
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How it works

Excerpt from the fifth chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous

 

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it- then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol- cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power- that one is God. May you find Him Now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4: Made a fearless and thorough moral inventory of ourselves.
5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.
6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9: Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all or affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, "What an order I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.



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Sobrietyspell


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Thanks for posting this, Phil. My meeting quotient hasn't been high the last couple of months. I find meetings frustrating sometimes trying to still figure it all out even at this stage. I pick up on other people's inadequacies & compare myself negatively thinking, yes, I'm like that & then feel rather futile. I pissed on my chips last year & involved myself with someone who was & still is unwell. I took this as a reflection of how emotionally & mentally I was unwell too, that I could be sucked in by my own need & immaturity to make such a blunder. I wasn't even trying to fix him cuz I knew I couldn't do that. Now I guess I'm avoiding meetings because of this guilt on my conscience, that I burst my safety bubble & I'm embarrassed. I wish I hadn't. A.A. was my haven where I hadn't messed up yet. That all of my mistakes were outside of those rooms & in the past but that eventually came not to be the case & I am ashamed that my A.A. life is now flawed. Pride & shame. It doesn't matter really. People keep going on about how mad they were when they first came in & I'm like well does that mean I have to be mad or am I going to pick up on this as an excuse to act out. I'm putting this mistake down to not knowing what I couldn't know until I Had pissed on my chips but it's rubbing up against my prideful need for perfection. This need is probably the worst defect of mine because anything that I don't deem as 'perfect' drives me potty, I develop inacceptance & then panic mentally between pillar & post trying to think of a way to perfect it or resent it. Straightforward process now that I'm printing it out & sharing it with y'all. It's hard being responsible & it's hard getting honest because my confusion lies between what Is Honesty & what is my head just being negative. Sometimes it's hard to know the difference cuz I really can be hard on myself even when I'm simply trying to be honest. All this is my being & sharing honestly to the best of my ability today & deep down inside that honesty is a willingness to let go & be helped. It's that willingness that helps me & it's your words in return that helps me too. This is how I know I'm not alone. When I can be truly honest with myself, my God smiles on me with kindness & compassion. When I'm honest & humble with my fellowship, you are all kind & compassionate with me too. I've never been able to share my shame in a meeting of that mistake I made & I'm sorry to the member I made it with too. Not because he isn't responsible for himself too but because he wasn't/may not be in a fit state to do anything useful with what we did. That's not for me to assume anyway. That's between him & his Higher Power & I have mine. You all help me with this too when I struggle or have been stupid again. I want to learn without feeling like I am playing the victim to my own stupidity or selfishness.

The point is ~
(a) I can't
(b) He can
(c) Let Him

Thanks for letting me share, Danielle.

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lani


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Thanks guys:
Thats the beauty of AA. We are not perfect and it is a haven where we can be honest and hopefully not feel ashamed about what we did or how we screwed up. I'd like to think that nobody judges us or thinks poorly of us if we screw up. I know the meetings that I have been to, people feel comfortable sharing their screw ups and for the most part we are thankful that: they are back in the rooms, their trial and tribulations have kept us sober and that we learn from others mistakes.

Can you imagine if everyone of us that has made a mistake never came back into the rooms? I have a feeling it would be one empty room!

Try not to be so hard on yourself. I have found that by not facing the challenges I have met, I tend to go back to "drinking thinking" I surely dont want to go down that path again!

Habg in there Danielle! Thanks Phil for sharing! Lani

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Doll


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Thanks, Phil.... I love "How it works" - I can almost (almost) recite it verbatim!

I AM amazed at this point and realize I'm nowhere near being 1/2 way through.

However.........

I finally was able to do my 4th & 5th Steps over the weekend. With the holidays and my work schedule I was beginning to worry it would never get done.....Hindsight - glad I waited till the weekend & had some time off, cause this gal was EXHAUSTED afterwards. Felt a bit weird, and couldn't turn my brian off for a while. But by Monday I felt soooooo much better. It's as if I took off blinders and can see a bit more clearly today.

After several attempts to stay sober, and failing, I have come to believe I can do it ONE day at the time.....For so long I wanted to rush to the destination and ended up tripping and falling on my ass. In some miraculous way steps 4 & 5 have begun to allow me to enjoy the journey.....


I never had a problem ADMITTING I'm an alcoholic, Today I ACCEPT it!

Awesome!

(((hugs)))

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lani


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Hi Doll,
Glad you shared. Im just getting in to doing step 4. Have thus far only read it. So, we'll see how it goes and glad to hear what a relief it is! Kinda looking forward to it!

"the journey is what brings us happiness, not the destination"-from the movie I saw recently....

That kind of reminds me of anything in life really, but for example...Planning a wedding...I remember planning this huge affair. It was alot of work and so much fun having showers, bacholer parties, rehersal dinner...Then the day came. What a beautiful day and my hubby and I enjoyed it to the fullest!! (still wish I had that dang 10K it took to plan it!) After it was all said and down, I cried so hard! Almost like it was a huge letdown!!! All that work, and now just plain done!

Thats kinda how I feel about AA. We are always going to be on a journey. We will never reach our destination because then what? Stop going to meetings, talking with our sponser and friends and then we drink and die!!! So, no rushing this one Im afraid. I need to just enjoy the journey and thankfully know it will never end! (why cant vacations somewhere hot and sunny be like that!)

Lani

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StPeteDean


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coincedently read that at the big book study meeting last night.  my first meeting of the year whoa!

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lani


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We read what Phil shared at the beginning of every meeting...And the promises...Is it different elsewhere? Lani

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StPeteDean


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Reading the preamble, chapter 5, and the traditions is pretty standard. Groups down here have added a couple readings. California meetings are 1.5 hours and that's probably the way to go with all the time it takes to read the literature.

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Doll


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lani wrote:

We read what Phil shared at the beginning of every meeting...And the promises...Is it different elsewhere? Lani


To start every meeting in my HG we open with a moment of silent mediation, followed by the Serenity Prayer then

1) Preamble
2) How it Works
3) Traditions
4)"9th Step Promises"
and sometimes the paragraph on Acceptance (that one depends on the chairperson)

ALL of it takes less than 20 minutes.




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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
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Sobrietyspell


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Erm.. Excuse me guys.. I was hoping for some ES&H there lol My heart is in my hands hoping for some healing so that I can get on with the rest of the year. I know I have my HP & I'm learning to be my own emotional sponsor also but if I could do it all on my little lonesome I wouldn't need you guys would I!? My lovely fellowship. Thanks for being here with me too. We are so all bloody self-centred, myself especially (strop) lol Yours ever hopeful & extremely embarrassed, Danielle x

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lani


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Danielle:
You goof ball! What am I , chopped liver!? I did try to share a bit, of course got side tracked! Im blaming it in Dean!!!! xo Lani


And, you said it yourself....Meeting quotient!!!!

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jonijoni


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Thanks Phil!~

When I am at a my homegroup, which is a BB Study, I have been opening the How It Works Page when they read it, and reading along with it. I have heard it so many times I lose the words and drift off sometimes, so reading it with my eyes as it is being said helps me to really focus on every word and phrase.

green dont panic smiley face sticks out tongue animated gif


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Sobrietyspell


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Thanks, Lani. Sorry lol Besides indeed being a goofball, I'm alright really lol Went to a meeting last night & even though my share was still rather garbled & not 'perfectly' program orientated, I was honest & shared where I wanted to be (compared to where I was) & that I would be seeing my sponsor on Sunday to help me get there via further work on Steps 4&5.. I need to do my SC. I felt better after having got something from the meeting too. Me? Making demands? Never ! lol Thanks, Lani. I know this will pass as I grow. Simply a case of walking away from that old behaviour one foot in front of the other 1Day@aTime. I swear to God I love that saying ~ Keep doing what you've always done & you'll keep getting what you always got. A few more days away from this & I'll be fine. Thanks for your continued care & fellowship, Danielle x

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lani


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Hi Danielle:
Its funny that you feel close enough to us all that you can share how you really feel! There have been times that I shared something and got no response! Ex: the dude that got kicked off! More people responded to his smoking stuff than my real dilema.. So, yea, I know how you feel but in our hearts we know that all of us are there for each other, at least in thought!!!

You are going to be just fine my friend...Just start talking at meetings, to your sponser, on here or whatever! Most importantly, youre sober and willing to go to any lengths!!
Love ya, Lauire

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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
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