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Post Info TOPIC: Dealing with Painful Feelings


MIP Old Timer

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Dealing with Painful Feelings
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Feelings of hurt or anger can be some of the most difficult to face. We can feel so vulnerable, frightened, and powerless when these feelings appear. And these feelings may trigger memories of other, similar times when we felt powerless.

Sometimes, to gain a sense of control, we may punish the people around us, whether they are people we blame for these feelings or innocent bystanders. We may try to "get even," or we may manipulate behind people's backs to gain a sense of power over the situation.

These actions may give us a temporary feeling of satisfaction, but they only postpone facing our pain.

Feeling hurt does not have to be so frightening. We do not have to work so hard to avoid it. While hurt feelings aren't as much fun as feeling happy, they are, still, just feelings.

We can surrender to them, feel them, and go on. That does not mean we have to seek out hurt feelings or dwell unnecessarily on them. Emotional pain does not have to devastate us. We can sit still, feel the pain, figure out if there's something we need to do to take care of ourselves, and then go on with our life.

We do not have to act in haste; we do not have to punish others to get control over our feelings. We can begin sharing our hurt feelings with others. That brings relief and often healing to them and to us.

Eventually, we learn the lesson that real power comes from allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to feel hurt. Real power comes from knowing we can take care of ourselves, even when we feel emotional pain. Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings.

Today, I will surrender to my feelings, even the emotionally painful ones. Instead of acting in haste, or attempting to punish someone, I will be vulnerable enough to feel my feelings.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990
Hazelden Foundation.

For Quetzal & for you x


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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!


MIP Old Timer

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I love it! Feel what you're feeling, dont' hide from it! I did a lot of hiding while drinking. I hid inside that bottle so I didn't have to feel anything.....and it worked.....for a while.....until it turned on me........Someone in AA once told me "if ya wanna know just how fucked up you are, keep coming back" ...... I do! and I am! and today it's cool! If I dont' know what the hell is wrong, how am I supposed to fix it! My feelings are like physical pain. When something hurts, I gotta do what's necessary to heal ....Experiencing my feelings is a great way to start.


Thanks for the post.




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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
  It's about learning to dance in the rain.

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