One of the most absurd things we do to ourselves is not asking for the help we need from a friend, a family member, our Higher Power, or the appropriate resource.
We don't have to struggle through feelings and problems alone. We can ask for help from our Higher Power and for support and encouragement from our friends.
Whether what we need is information, encouragement, a hand, a word, a hug, someone who will listen, or a ride, we can ask. We can ask people for what we need from them. We can ask God for what we need from God.
It is self-defeating to not ask for the help we need. It keeps us stuck. If we ask long and hard enough, if we direct our request to the right source, we'll get the help we need.
There is a difference between asking someone to rescue us and asking someone in a direct manner for the help we need from him or her. We can be straightforward and let others choose whether to help us or not. If the answer is no, we can deal with that.
It is self-defeating to hint, whine, manipulate, or coerce help out of people. It is annoying to go to people as a victim and expect them to rescue us. It is healthy to ask for help when help is what we need.
"My problem is shame," said one woman. "I wanted to ask for help in dealing with it, but I was to ashamed. Isn't that crazy?"
We who are eager to help others can learn to allow ourselves to receive help. We can learn to make clean contracts about asking for and receiving the help we want and need. Today, I will ask for help if I need it - from people and my Higher Power. I will not be a victim, helplessly waiting to be rescued. I will make my request for help specific, to the point, and I will leave room for the person to choose whether or not to help me. I will not be a martyr any longer by refusing to get the help I deserve in life - the help that makes life simpler. God, help me let go of my need to do everything alone. Help me use the vast Universe of resources available to me.
From The Language of Letting Go
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Thanks Carol! This says it all. Ive found with aa I can ask for help and not be too embarrassed. Im suprized to find that Im not unique with some of the problems I face. Most of the time the other person has been thru the same thing and can relate and sympathize with whatever my need or worry might be. How beautiful!!! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I suck at asking for help with anything other then work. I am figuring out how to pray, and call my sponsor. I tell myself that asking another alkie for help helps them as well as me. That does help. Still don't ask as much as I should, but getting there. Sometimes it is hard to see when I need help, so used to thinking like an alcoholic!! Diana
I have come back after a short relapse, and it feels, at 3 weeks, like everything is the same as it was before I went back out. Not in a negative way, but it is just so darned "comfortable". Like I just stepped back into recovery and didn't miss a beat. YIKES.
The problem is, that there ARE some things wrong, or I would not have drank and used again. I have to ask myself if I am taking this for granted, this 'another chance' I have been given. Do I think I can do this by my own self will? I sure hope not! I suppose I am asking for help from my therapist once a week. But otherwise, I am going through the motions, if that makes any sense. I guess as I work my way through the Steps again, I will hopefully (assuredly) find the things I need help with, and ASK.
Thanks for letting me share. I am just in a wierd place right now, I guess.
Joni
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
