I grew up with a very loving father and a mother who really didnt want us.
One thing she was a stickler for though was the we spoke properly, only queens english would do.
When I first entered the rooms of AA, I was surprised how few alcoholics there were in there. At the meetings I went to they all seemed to be alcuwolics. Because of the way I was raised to speak, I actually judged these people and though I was better than them. In fact I was just up my own arse period.
At my first meeting, I met a girl that I went to school with and she spoke exactly the same way as I did. She had been sober quite some time and lived the programme thoroughly and I remember asking her how she could bear to be sat in a room with alcuwolics. That was about the time I went back out there drinking. I wonder why.
I now feel that I really wasnt ready to be here last time because I couldnt accept each individual for who they were and realise that ALL these people were exactly the same as me and I love every one of them and owe my 5 day so far, sobriety to all of them.
I remember not knowing what to expect when I first walked into AA. What did surprise me was the different people from different backgrounds, different education and jobs and so on. But, they all had something that I wanted.
One of my favorite meetings has people there from France, Portugal, America and all over the UK. It's just a great meeting with so many different attitudes to sobriety and I can learn from everyone there.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
You are so right about how upbringing can effect us as adults. I have done extensive work on this not only in the steps, but in therapy. I am currently back in therapy, because I need more of it, and I always more AA.
Part of my early drinking was done out of rebellion from the political and 'moral' values I was given early on. I am becoming who I am supposed to be though, one day at a time. And you are right, I owe every person in the AA meetings a debt of gratitude for beginning to show me how to truly accept others and get off my own high horse. As i learn to accept other alkies, I start accepting myself.
So glad for your 5 days. You are an inspiration for me and my recovery.
((((hugs)))) Joni
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
My parents always had lots of money. And all problems were solved with money. They threw money at everything and I learned bad habits with money. I found out that you really cant buy yourself out of everything. And now I have low income and lots of bills so being careful with money is a new concept to me.
Are you in a remote part of the UK? I'm curious if the Cities in the UK have as many different meetings as the US does? I just got back from Washington DC (where I got sober). It would take years to go to all the meetings they have there just once each. The Unity Club, where my home group was located, has 6 meeting rooms and over 50 meetings a week. Everyone can find meetings that they can relate to. It's important in early sobriety to find meetings that you feel the most comfortable in so that you can share honestly and let those people get to know the real you. "We are only as sick as our secrets".
You're doing great Karen. Hang in there. As for the "better than thou" thing....... Ironic....I had "attitude" about alcoholics........ and here I am ........ learning from those who fight it. What a humbling experience. One for which I AM greatful.
