The thoughts that come before having a slip seem to be partly subconscious. And yet it is likely that at least part of these thoughts get into our consciousness. An idle thought connected with drinking casually pops into our mind. That is the crucial moment. Will I harbor that thought even for one minute or will I banish it from my mind at once? If I let it stay, it may develop into a daydream. I may begin to see a cool glass of beer or a Manhattan cocktail in my mind's eye. If I allow the daydream to stay in my mind, it may lead to to a decision, however unscious, to take adrink. Then I am headed for a slip. Do I let myself daydream?
Meditation for the Day ~
Many of us have a sort of vision of the kind of person God wants us to be. We must be true to that vision, whatever it is, and we must try to live up to it, by living the way we believe we should live. We can all believe that God has a vision of what He wants us to be like. In all people there is a good person whom God sees in us, the person we could be and that God would like us to be. But many a person fails to fulfill that promise and God's disappointments must be many.
Prayer for the Day ~
I pray that I may strive to be the kind od person that God would have me be. I pray that I may try to fulfill God's vision of what I could be.
Hazelden
(Let it be a God or Higher Power of your own understanding)
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
This is the most crucial and most common issue that we will face in our sobriety. I have not thought seriously about having a drink, since I had 6 months. I did pray every day "that the obsession to drink be removed so that I could stay sober and be of use to my higher power, my family, and myself". And my prayer was answered.
That doesn't mean that I don't have the occasional fleeting thought about a drink. For me usually it's usually right after seeing someone at a restaurant (maybe avoid ones that sell alcohol in the first couple years). What I do right after I have the thought is I tell my disease (because it is your disease talking to you) to shut the hell up.
Immediately after that I play out my MO in my head.... after the first drink then I'm going to get a bottle or 12 pack of beer, then (for me) go looking for drugs, then bar hopping for women which necessitates drunk driving and I've already been charged twice with DUI, if I lose my license I can't work and my life is ****ed. Then I can be a worthless drunk and homeless. Your mind is an amazing piece of equipment, I can play all that through in about 2 seconds , including video quality recallection, memory of smells, feeling sick to my stomach...
After doing that about a thousand times, nowadays, after telling my disease to stfu, I asked it if it really wants to go there (the mo) and the thought is gone in millisecond and I laugh, or I just laugh and say "Ya right!"
I totally agree with the above...My mind does wonder occasionally to the fantasy of just having that glass of wine...Sure there were times when I could do just that and be done. But it was the yets that I was reminded of... I know Ive had plenty of them! For me, playing back the tape doesnt always work. Im delusional at times and think, I really wasnt THAT bad!!! What gets me is hearing the stories of other people who have actually died drinking or are well on the way there!! I have a friend who is so sick from alcohol and will die if he doesnt stop! He is trying to do it on his own and my brother and I are just here if he decides he's ready. Unfortunately thats all we can do....Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I rang my dad today, he thought my drinking was under control since I left AA 4 years ago, he didnt know the half of it. Not only had it spiralled out of control but I was using drugs too, any that i could get my hands on, which isnt hard when my next door neighbours are drug dealers but also my nephews so I got it all for nothing. When I went into AA 4 years ago my dad told me I wasnt an alcoholic, today he cried and said he was so glad that I am back in AA because my next destination is my coffin and as hes in his mid 70s he said he would like not to bury me before he goes. He has always been the closest thing to my heart and yet the furthest away because of my drinkin.
Bless you all. Keep on building your defences. Posting & sharing helps me too. Thanks for your replies. Keep up the good fight & carry your messages. Love in recovery, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
