I have more peace and contentment. Life has fallen into place. The pieces of the jigsaw puzzle have found their correct position. Life is whole, all of one piece. I am not cast hither and yon on every wind of circumstance or fancy. I am no longer a dry leaf cast up and away by the breeze. I have found my place of rest, my place where I belong. I am content. I do not vainly wish for things I cannot have. I have "the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." Have I found contentment in A.A.?
Meditation for the Day ~
In all of us there is an inner consciousness that tells of God, an inner voice that speaks to us intimately, personally, in a time of quiet meditation. It is like a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. We can reach out into the darkness and figuratively touch the hand of God. As the Big Book put it: "Deep down in every man, woman, and child is the fundamental idea of God. We can find the Great Reality deep down within us. And when we find it, it changes our whole attitude toward life."
Prayer for the Day ~
I pray that I may follow the leading of the inner voice. I pray that I may not turn a deaf ear to the urging of my conscience.
Hazelden
(Let it be a God or Higher Power of your own understanding)
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
"I have more peace and contentment." "In all of us there is an inner consciousness that tells of God, an inner voice that speaks to us intimately, personally, in a time of quiet meditation."
Contentment is boredom + gratitude. Boredom is something that is loathed by alcoholics, it's just like dealth to us. We want the exitement, we want the big bang every day and night. We'll even create kaos, draw negative attention, and risk all for some momentary thrills so that we can just feel alive. Why do we do these things?
When we are children, or young adults we experience some deeply ceeded emotional pain. Pain so intense that the only way to deal with it and protect ourselves was to make ourselves numb so we didn't feel the pain, hurt, shame. The problem was that when we turned away from our negative feelings we also had to give up love, joy, and happiness as getting rid of our feelings was a package deal.
All that left us with was a hole in our sole and raw emotions of 100 different kinds of fear and anger and the chemicals in our body that they would bring on like adrenaline, endorphins, and dopamine. So emotions and internal chemicals replaced our feelings and we became dependent on them and later on other substanses that we put into or bodies. Then we get clean and sober and we think that we're done with chemicals and the craziness that they brought to our lives, wrong again. Our disease is still alive and well with plenty of internal drugs to chose from. All it has do is push our buttons enough to bring on fear, anger, or emotional pain and bada bing, a "dry drunk" that is more like a narcotic fix and that sets us up to be addicted to our emotions.
Somewhere in this process we have to head off this perpetual train wreck and learn to be still. Learn to pause, learn not to re-act. Emotions are not feelings (we sent away our feelings long ago), they are reactions. Most often they are not even reactions to the present but "hot button" reflexes to the past triggered by a familiar word or look on someones face that brings up those deeply burried wounds from long ago. Often our intended villans have no idea what they did, and after the tonado passes neither do we.
Is our disease looking for opportunities to run us off the tracks? Learn to be still. . Boredom is the opposite of Kaos, panic, stress, and impending doom. Boredom is safty, security, Boredom is your friend. Today I am grateful for the gift of Boredom because it was initially this alcoholics misperception of Peace and Contiment.
"I have more peace and contentment." "In all of us there is an inner consciousness that tells of God, an inner voice that speaks to us intimately, personally, in a time of quiet meditation."
You're very clever, Dean! Or is that just simple acceptance of 'the facts' or truth ;) I like what you had to say there. I am noticing where my reactions are not reality slowly yet surely. In moments of meditation that now seem to float into 'waking' hours I am becoming aware how subjective my experiences are & just like in meditation I am learning to let go & allow knowledge & experience to come in place of judgement. Very early days for me in this exercise but I am learning. I rarely am bored these days. A.A. & recovery has helped to hone my thinking & for this I am grateful as I learn contentment. Each day is a gift I can enjoy opening 1Day@aTime. Thankyou for being here, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
glad that you liked that. after writing it I thought that it deserved it's own thread, but it was your 24hr dailey that inspired so be it. Most of that I stole from John Bradshaw with bit of my own observations mixed in.
