Q:How many women inMENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb ? Woman's Answer:One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don' t even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE I N THE S AME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP ORCARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATEDFROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUG HOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES
THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !! I'm sorry. What was the question?
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Live each day as if it were your last...because tomorrow?
It might be.
Don't even have to be on a monthly. I'm like that everyday & I share a house with 8 other people! I love it & enjoy my Matriarchical rule lol Ps. What's with the purple reference, Phil?? lol Kidding ;) Have a Gr8 24 Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Geeezzzeee...... Okay, okay, okay. #1. I admit that I am powerless....... #2. Came to believe that a power greater than self could restore sanity. (Where the hey did I put that Midol?) #3. Admitted to God, self, and others of my wrong doings. (ARE YOU KIDDING? Remember in step 2 ...... I pleaded INSANITY during that time.) #4. Ask God to remove any defects........ You betcha.....let that #@# to through this once a month and see how much fun it. With all due respect, God is often referred to as a "he". "He" apparently didn't want the experience either to give it solely to the female population. #5. Came to understand the nature........awwwwww. It IS NATURE AT IT'S BEST!!!!!!
And thank God to borrow a quote, "I AM FREE. I AM FREE. THANK GOD I AM FREE AT LAST!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA That is about the funniest thing Ive ever seen!! I am sooo not like that!! Yea right! I dont know whats worse-Woman having to deal with that awful crud or the poor souls on the receiving end!!! Yes, God knew what HE was doing alright!!!! Thanks for the laughs!! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
The other day I was taking my daughter and her boyfriend and my baby son and the GF to the zoo on Oahu and my GF was in a horrific mood- absolutely terrible-irritable-grouchy-unpleasant and difficult. She made nasty little comments every time I spoke and was just the worst that day. But I don't get to see my daughter very often and am not much for senseless fighting and bickering so I just was annoyingly agreeable and made funny comments which probably annoyed her to no end. And generally the kids and I had a good time and a laugh. Towards the end possibly a bit at her expense.
So we're in Waikiki on a sunday morning and there isn't a parking place anywhere and we're just driving around and around and around... So I find this spot but like twelve inches of the front of the car is sticking into a red zone- but the curb is super faded and it's sunday and we're actually just getting breakfast and then we'll be driving to the zoo post haste.
So for anyone who hasn't figured it out, I do most of everything around the house and pay for it all. I know, I know- WHY?!! Horrible mistake on my part, but I love having my boy living with me and so that's the end of that little negative diatribe (gotta nip those in the bud or I could go on for hours and you'd all be dead of boredom with horrific looks on your faces before I ever got through). So I'm trying to squeeze into this spot with that red curb just off the fore-quarter and she gives me this all-time bitchy look and says(in the bitchiest tone imaginable),
"If we get a ticket you're going to pay for it."
I was so tempted to ask her how that would be any different from any other waking moment in our lives, but for the sake of a good time and because I know that if I say that mean (but hilarious) little question it will get me zero satisfaction (or very little, anyhow) and she will only be worse.
But anyhow- this joke reminded me of her. But she's only 35.
But she's only 35. 
