I am so grateful I found this site. I have read some of your stories and they touch my heart. I have needed the soothing balm of kind words, of recovery words. I have been away for awhile. Not drinking, but of just not living in the solution. My mind has traveled many miles of negativity, the landscape has been beautiful but I have not been able to see it. It has made me sad.
I have 19 years sober. I was very active in AA. I have been so much a part of this wonderful recovery program. But a few years ago I started to want more. I just wanted to have more. That is not so bad, I know. It is just that I did not do it balanced. I have either been in AA or not. And when I got married I stepped out of AA. I have not taken a drink, or even gone back to smoking, but I have found that the feeling of "Simply Grateful" has eluded me for sometime. I have been very successful at work, we belong to a wonderful church. All good things are happening. But in my head I feel fearful and doubtful. The last month my emotions have just caved in.
So I am ready to start reaching out again. This is not a devestation. It is a lesson and by golly, I am going to learn from it. I have my AA books out, I have attended an online meeting and I taking steps to go to a local meeting in town.
Life is so good. I am ready to embrace it again in my heart and soul. I am ready to open my curtains and drink in the beauty of the day.
One thing I learned, the hard way, if I just don't drink, it's not enough. I NEED AA, I NEED to be around others recovering........I white knuckled it for a while and then ended up drinking. It was sort of like being on a deserted island and there was no beer store! I might not have been drinking, but I was not living in the solution..
I'm glad you're here and please come back and share your meeting with us....
((((Hugs))))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Welcome to MIP. I'm Carol, an alcoholic, living in UK.
Congratulations on 19 sober years. That is terrific and a great inspiration to many people.
I loved what you said about the feeling of being Simply Grateful. A few weeks ago, I almost lost my gratitude and I so needed my meetings more than usual. I know that I would pick up again if it wasn't for AA.
Please let us know how your meeting goes for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Thanks so much for the responses. Yes, I have been on a deserted Island so to speak. I got a message from God last night. He sent me the God Memoradum. It was so wonderful and I have realized that I have forgotten that I am a miracle. My thinking has not been in miracle mode. I can already feel my mind starting to change in a positive and loving way. I prayed for along time before I went to bed. I feel gratitude this morning. It is so nice. I was excited to check online at responses to my post and it was so nice to see your loving responsies. Thank you.
Hi Laurie, Welcome to the group. I've found a wealth of support and encouragement and comradery here. It is true, that since my journey began I've had to remind myself of those 12 "little" points on an almost daily basis. When I've let them go/been too busy/ignored them all togethor that is when I've noticed life sort of spirals downward...... (not with alcohol....however, in other negative ways.) Congratulations on the longevity of 19 yrs. sober. Hoping your return to the program brings you many blessings. Wanda
