I'm a long-time alcoholic. I went to my first AA meeting last Tuesday (dont' count the one the judge made me attend 17 years ago). I haven't had another DUI because I tend to do my drinking at home, and I have a wonderful (although enabler) non-alcoholic husband who does all the driving.
I have millions of questions and observations but I will start with just a few. Please keep in mind that I really like AA and I will be going to my meeting at noon in a few hours.
* I was surprised by AA in that the people there are real ( I got a laugh when I shared that the next day) During the meeting, they ate, sketched with pastels, went outside to smoke, and were normal people. And there was a lot of humor. I laughed a lot at a few of the stories.
* I'm scared to death of AA. It seems to me that you are exchanging a destructive, suicidal addiction for a benign one, but an addiction none-the-less. I dont' want to be attending AA 10 years from now.
* I'm already tired of the prefunctionary --stuff. The preamble and the praying, and the reading of the same passages. And I've only been to four meetings!
* Does AA ever address the phsysiology of alcohol? The chemical reactions? Because frankly, that is what we are dealing with. Alcoholics have a genetic variation that modifies the chemcial reactions in our brain.
* How often do people choose their own will as the higher-power? Because other than the memory of my parents, or the desire to not have this madness carry on to my kids, I got nothin'. I'm not totally lacking spirituality and I recognize the importance religion plays in human sociology but I view my problem as one of physiological one.
* In social situations I get extremely bored when I'm not drinking. I'm educated, grew up on two continents, have studied 5 languages, I speak 2.5, I'm a news junkie and unfortunately I moved to a small town where there is basically nothing that interests me. Moving is not an option because we built a beautiful home 2 years ago.
Anyway, I know I'm showing alot of the behaviour/attitudes of someone just starting to sober up, I recognize that. I already like AA (at least most of the peoople....this one woman went on and on about nothing for like 20 minutes and half of the old-time regular peoople left the meeting).
Welcome to the Miracles In Progress (MIP) board! I'm Dan, and alcoholic living in rural North Dakota.
Each person here, just as in AA, has their own perception of their "higher power". Some are Christian, some Buddhist, some Jewish, Taoist, agnostic, athiest, etc. etc. Each to his own, live and let live. We do not attempt to convert others to our beliefs, or we jeopardize our purpose for being in AA. For me, being an agnostic, what works is fellowship with other AA'ers. G.O.D. = Group Of Drunks who help me stay sober, one day at a time!
Hi there, Kriszti! Welcome to MIP. Lots of questions there! All part of the fun I think. Coming to A.A. gives me lots to think about & with my busy imagination & 'intellect' I get lots of food for thought & material for deepening insights. I think A.A. is a great distraction for how I spent my time before & it's helping me to grow up. I'm new in too, been around for about a year & I think things are settling a little more for me now. I'm making more sense of things & my way is clearing. I spent all last week worrying about my commitment to A.A. & wondering if I would be able to live a balanced life without taking a drink & touching base with A.A. whilst getting on with the other things I want to do. You can refer to A.A. as an 'addiction' on a superficial level but, for me, it's more than that. It's a connection with other people that I can believe in the next day. When I think of meetings I think of the gift of every person there wanting to make the effort of being with others they share a common problem & goal with so really it's like a network & quality time spent. It's helped to bring stability to my life & helped me to learn how to rely on me whilst knowing I'm not alone & that a 'Higher Power' is with me. That takes some cultivating & it's one of my own understanding so that's something that has come with time & practice. I didn't really take in the readings at first as I was very much interested in the honesty I heard coming out of people but eventually the messages in the words came filtering through & I could interpret them on different levels as I was growing which you may find the case for you too. It can be easy to become impatient with people sometimes but the funny thing is the same people can surprise me when I realise where they're coming from or that that's just how they were for that day which makes me forgiving of myself on a silly/mad/upset/confused/bored day. There's more I could waffle on with if you're interested enough or want to pm. I have to go to work but simply put I agree with Phil. It's all for your own discovery & to bring your own meanings on your journey. I hope you enjoy & keep coming back. There will be some who can answer your questions on the physiological stuff. It's not A.A. academia because I think we deal with the heart, life & spirituality side of things but there will be those who've looked into the practicals of the subject for their own interest & sake too. Happy hunting, Kriszti, I hope this has been of some help, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Welcome to MIP. There are some super people here all helping each other to stay sober one day at a time. AA is full of some truly wonderful people.
At meetings I listen to everything and take away with me what I need and what applies to me. As Phil said we take what we need and leave the rest. But, I couldn't stay sober without going to regular meetings.
Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Hi, Wagon here alkie from Iowa, In AA we figure out what makes us tick, Why i did what i did, and kept on doing what i was doing, All i was ask to do was follow some suggestions in the 12 steps. And keep coming back. People in aa told me if i fall come on back,This is genuine friendship that goes beyond anything i have ever seen in my 47 yrs!! Give us a try, u will be gald u did!!!!
Welcome!! Keep posting!-Lani (gotta run, just checking in!!)
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Our beloved AA is at least a 72 year old fellowship that hasn't changed a whole lot relatively speaking, because it works. It's a simple program for complicated people, like yourself LOL. Don't worry about 10 years for now, we do it one day at a time and have an open door policy, you can come and go anytime you want. The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. You see, a big part of this fellowship, that I didn't get right away, is the social aspect. We tend to make friends in our meetings and through those friendships we help each other stay sober. You say that you're bored and that town you live in doesn't offer much, but then you said that the people you found in the meeting were "real" and that they made you laugh, so you found some entertainment value there. How good is that?
The preambles are for the benefit of new comers, to remind us about "how it works" and the benefits that we can obtain by "working the program". I'll speak for myself (although many might agree) when I say that I felt the same way that you did when I walked through the door in '87. It all seemed a little "different" and I thought that if given the chance, I'd pick and choose which steps to take, and which ones I didn't need. I thought that most of the people in "those rooms" were sicker than I was, and as such, didn't need to work as hard. I also felt that I could attend it like a class, learn what I needed to know and leave without much interaction or introductions. Well needless to say it took me a while, over 2 years, to get sober, and I didn't get why I didn't get "It".
I had a somewhat secure life at that time, in a nice home, with a nice wife, and a great job. There wasn't a lot of pressure on me to work that hard to get sober and my effort was doled out accordingly. A lot of things hadn't happened to me Yet! I'm not going into a long drunk-o-log here but I can say that many things changed in that two years, during that time when I used my custom made revolving door to AA. Most of those comforts of life went away and I suddenly became very willing to follow suggestions and make the program work for me. Nearly a couple decades later, my life has vastly exceeded my expectations.
About you question on a Higher Power. It's another suggestion, that your choice be anything besides yourself. It can be your dog if you'd like. After all (presumeably) he'd be consistently happier than you, that's admirable isn't it? I'm guessing that you didn't just win the lottery and have decided that this would be a good time to take care of that pesky little drinking problem, so that it didn't get in the way of you travel plans. With that said, your best thinking brought you here. If your will is working so well for you, than quiting drinking should be a simple matter of deciding that today is that day. When I came in here, most of me wanted to quit, but in the back of my mind i thought that since I had a high IQ, I could figure it out, learn what I was doing wrong, and modify my drinking. I think that's why the founders decided to do it "one day at a time" because that was very non- confrontational to almost any belief system. We drunks as a group, really don't like to be told what to do, or follow directions per se. That's why this program is deceptively simple. This is "the easier and softer way".
As far as praying goes, the lord's prayer at the end is optional and there's no problem with not particispating or leaving right before. We do it to remind ourselves that we don't have to do this alone.
As for physiology, the program doesn't talk about it too much probably because not much was known about it in the 1930's. This program is more about promoting a personal change, leading to or from a spiritual awakening, that changes the dynamics about how we feel about ourselves, so that we no longer feel compelled to drink. Our model for that is "The same man will drink again". There are some books that talk about physiology, "Living Sober" is one that helped me tremendously. I heard that "Staying Sober" was also a good one.
If you're in a larger community, you should have a good choice of meetings. Meetings vary and hopefully you'll find some that you feel comfortable in. I gotta say, I hope you'll give this program a chance , that you'll find a sponsor, take the suggestions that you hear, put some time together and postpone developing impressions or opinions for awhile till you've had the chance to learn and enjoy this simple program.
If you like what you are doing then keep doing it ......if you dont try something else .......The one thing that help me was to try and be'' OPENMINDED''''
Welcome, and I just have one thing to say. My best thinking danged near killed me, so I decided looking at myself as a higher power just wasn't going to cut it for me!
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"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguements and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
~Herbert Spencer
Hi Kriszti, My name is Kirsten and I am an alcoholic. Although I have not traveled the world I hold several degrees, and love to learn. I was sober for 14 years when I decided to go back out. All my worldly knowledge did not help me from becoming a drunken slob who routinely lied about my drinking. This time around I am spending more time reading the Big Book. I think if you read the Doctors Opinion you will find much about Alcoholism From a MD point of view. Doctor Silkworth was very educated and knowledgeable. About getting bored our Big Book states, that we must be willing to go to any lengths for our sobriety. That includes going to AA, listening to the preamble and everything read and everything said. If you are a true alcoholic and a good listener you will lose your boredom and find yourself in everyword read and uttered by others members. I find myself saying THAT IS ME, and YES I AM WILLING TO GO TO ANY LENGTHS TO GET IT!
I too get really tired of the preamble (but there are new people every meeting so I understand- they- like myself at my first couple times- need that info) and I just trudge through the "Lord's Prayer" at the end, but I find it otherwise a harmless vice and I do enjoy what I get from the speakers who get through to me.
I never thought of pastels. I think I'd like to set up an easel and paint sometimes. Especially when I hear the same person do the same routine-verbatim- for the twentieth time. And pretend to accidentally say "f*ck" at about the same place every time, and then feign surprise and cover his mouth and giggle and say "Oops! Sorry!" (My home group is in a church. They have some rules about profanity.)
Egads- some of it can be such a complete drag. But some of it is just the absolute best. And it keeps me on the path I've chosen, which I need to be on.
Things work out best for the people who make the best of how things work out. (some old guy)
Whatever you do may be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. (Gandhi)
To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world. (another old guy, most likely.)
Yep! I understand what you're saying. I too get bored with the all the readings, sometimes. However, I have to remind myself there may be someone in that meeting coming in for the first time. Or someone who's heard it a thousand times but listened for the first today....The 'ramblers' can make me crazy. When they get started, and they're usually the sames ones, I bow my head, close my eyes and hang on! <A suggestion from my sponsor.
Yep! We get to choose our own Higher Power! Pretty cool!
As for you being 'educated' - one thing I had to learn, alcohol does not discriminate.
Keep coming back.
(((hugs))))
-- Edited by Doll at 06:12, 2007-10-23
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
It felt like switching addictions for me too, at first. Once I got into the step work and established a spiritual change, that pink cloud evolved into something more substantial. Initially I went to meetings to avoid drinking. Now I go to KEEP my sobriety - a choice I will gladly make, given all that I have gained since my last first drink.
In my experience, AA is not a pill that I take once and then move on from. Its a way of life. My local meetings are where some of my dearest friends are, so continued meeting attendance is not a chore, its something I look forward to.
The Program suggests that we stay in today. Thus, I avoid looking to far down the road. That future day will be today, in time.
