In recovery, we're learning to let ourselves go! We're learning to be spontaneous.
Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good; be right; be perfect; be strong; don't have fun; and always be in control.
We may associate spontaneity with acting out in an addictive, compulsive, self destructive, or irresponsible manner.
That's not what we're talking about in recovery. Positive spontaneity involves freely expressing who we are - in a way that is fun, healthy, doesn't hurt us, and doesn't infringe on the right of others.
We learn to be spontaneous and free as we grow in self-awareness and self esteem. Spontaneity emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase, and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries.
Being spontaneous is connected to our ability to play and achieve intimacy. For all those desirable acts, we need to be able to let go of our need to control others and ourselves and fully and freely enter into the present moment.
Let go of your tight rein on yourself. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you're wrong? Relish your imperfections. Let yourself be a little needy, a little vulnerable. Take a risk!
We can be spontaneous without hurting ourselves, or others. In fact, everyone will benefit by our spontaneity.
Today, I will throw out the rulebook and enjoy being who I am. I will have some fun with the gift of life, others, and myself.
From The Language of Letting Go
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Also spontaneity requires a person to be living in the "Now". You can't be spontaneous if you're living in the past, or thinking about the future, you're only living in a bubble of thoughts completely unaware of the present.
Hi my name is Kirsten and I am an alcoholic. I am now on day 3 of sobriety. I am realizing I can be spontaneous and do things I haven't done for months. Once I relapsed and returned to my old relationship with King Alcohol I no longer had time for fun. My entire waking day was spent planning how I was going to obtain my alcohol, and then my clandestine drinking. I am the "Brewmeister" from the Big Book Story, and I am "The House Wife Who Drank at Home". They too planned and executed their drinking ever waking moment. Gee no time for family! Anyway thanks to AA I can be honest today, and yes, can have fun and be spontaneous as long as I CONTINUE TO WORK A PROGRAM. It works if you work it!
