A man was seen coming and going from a married woman's house. Her neighbor watched with fascination, and concocted elaborate tales which she shared with her friends as truth. There was no evidence any more incriminating that the fact that the young man came regularly, but the rumor was that the woman was having an affair. The "news" spread like wildfire, and wind of it eventually got back to the woman's husband. He confronted her in anger and hurt. The woman defended herself well. The young man she was seeing was her own brother, who came to the house to study in between his classes. The senseless words of a gossip caused unnecessary pain to other people, and planted a seed of doubt which caused great trouble. There is no such thing as harmless gossip. Gossip is wrong. It is talking about someone in a negative way who has no chance to defend himself. It is usually based on half-truths and sparse information. It isn't done to build someone up. It is only done to tear someone down. When we tell false stories about another person, we are stealing from them in the worst way. We take away dignity and honor, and we throw dirt on their reputation. It is an evil that is despised because of its basic cruelty. May my words be ever praiseworhty. Let no foulness or gossip pass from my lips. I gain nothing through deception and lies. Lead me in the paths of truth and righteousness. Help me to see that a single grain of truth is preferable to a mountain of lies. Teach me your ways.
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You only live once; but if you work it right, once is enough. There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.
I have to actively watch myself on this one. I get sucked into gossip worse than anyone, and I have to stop before the words leave my mouth and think about the results of my actions. Pema Chodron has a lot to say about this in some of her seminars on right living and avoiding harmful action. I love the woman in large part because she's so matter of fact about the fact that even though she's this Buddhist monk with so much time and study put into it, she too has to stop herself and check herself before she says something that will perhaps hurt someone down the road. She's also very funny about how she presents her talks.
It's so easy to say something in jest and write it off as gentle ribbing and it is just as easy for a person to misinterpret that, so I try to be pretty mindful about my speech- but still I'm terrible on that one. Years of conditioning to be reckoned with.
I have to actively watch myself on this one. I get sucked into gossip worse than anyone, and I have to stop before the words leave my mouth and think about the results of my actions. Pema Chodron has a lot to say about this in some of her seminars on right living and avoiding harmful action. I love the woman in large part because she's so matter of fact about the fact that even though she's this Buddhist monk with so much time and study put into it, she too has to stop herself and check herself before she says something that will perhaps hurt someone down the road. She's also very funny about how she presents her talks.
It's so easy to say something in jest and write it off as gentle ribbing and it is just as easy for a person to misinterpret that, so I try to be pretty mindful about my speech- but still I'm terrible on that one. Years of conditioning to be reckoned with.
ditto for me too. between the two alcoholic parents, tough teenage friends and being a construction worker all my life the credo was always "nothing is sacred" and it was funny for a long time. But now not so much and the the schtick is getting old. My friend Dennis calls it "going into his dark side" and when I'm tempted to act like that I feel like that "dark side" is calling to satisfy that chip that I've had on both shoulders. I know it's just a twisted perverse way of self validation thru the condemnation of others. John Bradshaw calls it "Passing the Shame". Thanks for this powerful reminder
