Just think, how much better we feel off the booze. I may be new to this, but am finding not many people want to actually chat. Maybe i'm on the wrong site. If anyone out there has a better way for me to find the online communication tools I need, please share. I'm 12 days sober and it ain't getting easier yet. I need friends to chat with. Someone please tell me where to go to find it online. I work nights (12 hour shifts), so I sleep days. Who is out there I can talk to online???
A drink? I don't think I've ever drank A drink in my life. You mean they come in sets of one? I tend to consume them in 12s, 18s and 24s.
All my life I think I wanted a drink. That first couple really felt great, the rest of them felt pretty flakey- like I was chasing after the ghost of a feeling those first two gave me. Worst thing is that as soon as I admitted there was an issue it took the fun right out of those first two.
I don't have any messengers (AOL, MSN, YaHOO. etc...) and I don't know if I'm the best person to talk to- I'm guess I'm kind of a heretic and a little cynical- misanthropic- something. There's better, more experienced and better rounded people to talk to. But I'm around here off and on.
I don't know if I'm like everyone else or some of everyone or if I'm wierd and flakey, but I listen to a lot of CDs by AAers and other people- buddhists, motivational speakers, etc... and I spend a lot of time listening and gleaning what information I can from them. It kills some time and keeps me "with" people who are a good influence. Pretty much all the guys I used to hang with drink and while I'm cool with a party or whatever I find it better that I hang by myself- just me and the CDs. And I write a lot too- but I think that's probably me.
The more I drink, the more I drink......If I have one I'll have 13 ........."Blake Shelton"
Sorry, I work days and sleep nights......But, I'm glad you're here. Please continue to post whatever is on your mind. I check in thru sometimes the day, so I'll respond if I can.......Are you going to AA?
Congrats on 12 days. That's awesome! Woo Hoo!
-- Edited by Doll at 06:08, 2007-09-13
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
The meeting room at www.aaonline.net tends to have someone in it 24/7. It was a lifeline for me (along with f2f meetings and finding a sponsor at 30 days).
My sincere congrats on 12 days!!! No, at 12 days, for me, it was not easier at all, BUT I stuck with it, one day at a time, and it got easier, eventually - and was WELL worth it!
I also read "Living Sober", which had a lot of practical "How to not pick up" information in it.
For me, internet resources are a nice supplement to my recovery. However, I built a solid foundation in AA through face to face meetings. With your work schedule, are there any AA meetings in your area? Our group meets at 8 pm three days a week in my tiny town!
-- Edited by TenderheartsKS at 07:46, 2007-09-13
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"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguements and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
~Herbert Spencer
The fellowship is probably the best thing that ever happened to me. I'd have never got that online. The problem with text is that my mind tends to make the image of the person on the other side ... and I try to keep my mind out of things now days. Even with your work scedual (I used to work 90 hrs a week) you might still make at least one meeting a week. Get a sponsor, start the step program... it WILL get easier. Theres nothing like a real hand shake... a hug... a smile. Stuff you cant get on a monitor screen. Seeing the new commers come in the rooms, and greeting them. The diversity of young and old... there's just to much life to life... dont miss it. This is a great resource, like the Big Book, like the grapevine, like the other tools we have.... but I need them ALL. Congrats on 12 days BTW. Glad your here.
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My warranty on tomorrow has run out. My guarantee on the past is void. Nothing is going my way... and I like it like that.
For me the first 30 days are the toughest. Friends (drinking buddies) still come around and those familar activities and places are just around the corner. Yes, sometimes in my earily recovery(s), I wanted a drink. Screw this!, I'd say to myself, I'm not that bad. But I'm back again. In a few weeks I find that being clean and sober is kind of a high in it self. But that faded as well.
Everyday I need to ask myself is it worth it? Will I really feel better hungover in the morning? What about all the work I've put into my program, is it all for not? Yet, in a few years, other things come up and it becomes easier to do those "other things" than work my program. Back again...
For me I always want a drink. It wasn't always bad. I had far many good times drinking and using than bad. But the bad times have financially wiped me out, devistated my family and relationships, got me in trouble with the law, and brought me to the now lowest point in my life. Yet, I if I work this program and go to meetings and don't drink, it can't (won't) get any worse.
If people here (or anywhere for that matter) don't talk enough, don't be discouraged. Here, as in meetings, people and topics come and go. Sometimes I need to reflect on what was said and not say anything for awhile. There are hundreds of pages of ideas, experiences, strength, and hope for you to read and comment on. If you have something to say about an old topic, say it. It will be moved to the front. And probably revive the conversation that was once lost. Perhaps I (we) need to see that topic again.
Hang in there. It will get better. Challenges that I'm faced with happen for a reason. Higher Power at work? As Miller said, there are a lot of resources available. When in dought, seek them out. Visit here frequently, I'm here at least a couple times a day (like having a mini meeting), and many times nothing changes. But it does soon enough.
In my early days of recovery, i worked night shifts, what i did was find a early AA morning meeting or breakfast meeting attend the meeting and then go home to sleep.
In thoses days the internet or on line meetings were not available so i needed to be more comitted to my sobriety and make sure that i did what was required to ensure that i stayed sober.
I also work days and sleep nights, but I'm sure you'll find whatever you need to keep you sober, if you are really willing to do whatever it takes to be sober. Where I got sober there was a great AA clubhouse where people would hang out all day long. I would skip school just to hang out with these old guys - many of them had nicknames like Furniture Jack and Squirrel. I was a young woman with enough desperation to just show up and they were great to me. It was a long time ago, so there weren't any chat rooms or emails. But I've found that desperation is all I needed! It's extremely hard to get through those first days, but it sounds like you are reaching out. Just keep it up!!!
The more I drink, the more I drink......If I have one I'll have 13 