My GF and baby are off island for a couple weeks, and the solitude is nice. In the sake of prudence I can't say a whole lot about the relationship between baby mom and I online, except to say that we're as ill suited for each other as two people can be. But we have the best kid ever and so there's that we have in common. Anyhow- I'm fairly certain she's thinking about moving out. No doubt Baby boy would go with her as iun this state that's just the way it goes, unless I could get custody as the prime care giver. But that's something I knew was going to happen eventually. I could move also to be close to my boy or I could fly back and forth a lot- one or the other would work. But the downside is that baby-mom was raised a Jehovahs Witness (though her dad wasn't- just mom- and she's a pretty unique kind of JW at that.) Anyhow- it plagues me a bit to find out that she has plans to raise my boy as a Jehovah's Witness. I realize what I can and can't control and that he'll most likely be fine no matter what, but the idea of him having to deal with all the conflicting stuff (like me having Christmas, etc.. and the idea that I wouldn't be in their proposed paradise after the apocolypse) bothers me .
So I spent a good portion of my day thinking about the inevitable custody negotiations and how to approach that. I'm pretty on the ball with this stuff though and have talked to a lot of child custody attorneys about it (hence rendering them somewhat ineffective in this unless they were to represent me. Dirty pool but actually I'm just kind of shopping for the best I can get locally and shopping for ideas.) I may or may not have to do that but I figure it's more likely than not.
Then I went to a meeting at the bank about an upcoming project. That went really well. On the way to the bank I checked my PO Box for a check that is overdue and it still wasn't there. Frigging people think I'm fanny May or something. I've been the squeaky wheel on this particular check because I don't trust the corporation who is writing it to get their stuff together. They have in the past left checks sitting on desks for weeks when they were supposed to be in the mail. Anyhow- I left the bank in pretty good spirits and got some lunch. Salad. I've really been meaning to start training in earnest again but time has not allowed it. Bummer. But at least I've been eating pretty responsibly.
So the day went on- checked on my guys at the jobsite, caught up on some paperwork, got arrested.
GOT ARRESTED?!!
Yep. Fricken dogs.
My dogs got out about two months ago- one of my employees left the gate open- and I have this neighbor that is a complete prick who called the pound. The pound told him they couldn't make it out just then but if he could take some pictures they would ticket me. The photo thing is a complete crock of **** as there's no way to definitely date them- but whatever. I knew the dogs were out and I was going to pay the tickets.
But the tickets got lost somewhere in my office. I searched and I searched for them but found nothing. Zip. Nada. I really meant to ask my bookkeeper if she had found them in the weekly bundle but I forgot. I'm kind of in chaos a lot- getting a lot done and some of it repairable- that kind of deal. (Truth be told I get a ton done, but sometimes the normal day-to-day stuff get's forgotten when I'm focusing on the business. And I'm a little scattered anyhow on day-to-day stuff.)
So I forgot about it.
Bad idea!!
This afternoon I get a call from a cop and he tells me I have a bench warrant. I laugh as I remember the fricken dogs, thinking I might want to trade them for two cats. "So how do I rectify this situation?" I ask the friendly officer (turns out I know him anyhow- and a couple other cops that were there.) He tells me I need to bring $300 down to the station. I ask him if I head over to the bank might I get arrested prior to coming in. He laughs and says no- the bank's alright.
So I go to the bank and get $400 (a little extra just in case they were going to mess with me about tax or something.) I head down there and they do the whole nine yards- book me, pictures of me right left and center, pics of my tattoos, fingerprints. The fingerprint deal is pretty cool- no ink! Where have I been?!!
Anyhow- just for fun we brought up my folder and there was some funny stuff. Damn I shouldn't drink! Some hilarious stuff though, just the same.
So I stayed out of the system for all this time and at 42 get my prints recorded for the two stupid dogs. Well- and stupid me for forgetting to take care of it.
Well- let's see if I can get through today without being incarcerated. My knee's been bugging me and at the back of my mind I'm thinking about three months off for surgery on my anterior cruciate ligament. It would be nice to be able to take three months off- even to go under the knife. It'd also be nice to be able to go jog again. I miss that. But I can't even think about three months down. Maybe next year.
A contractor (and AA) buddy of mine phoned me this a.m. saying he and his significant other are suffering a huge implosion. He may be sleeping on my couch here and there. They just finished a huge beautiful house. That always happens. Building a house (and remodeling) can be the death of a relationship. Anyhow- things are tough all over.
I'm going to go ridicule the dogs now- call them demeaning names (their names are "Pickles" and "ZsaZsa"- how much worse could I get than to call them by their names?!!) and then hi-ho it's off to work I go.
Toby........ Silence for days outta you...... When you come outta the shell you certainly come out into the world. LOL While the day certainly presented it's challenges for you, you surely have walked through it with a smile. And gave me one, as well. Don't know where JohnfromNYC has been. He's a lawyer. Maybe a PM for some advice. Hell, if one alki can help another stay sober......maybe one can help you work through the legal system..........kids, dogs, and the whole nine yards. Mug shots for dogs on the loose. Wow!!!!! Mustv'e been a slow day at the station. LOL This is one (with the exclusion of names and places) to tell at work!!!! I'm sorry for laughing at your expense, but it is funny. Did it ever occur that ZsaZsa had a rebellious streak? She was the one who slapped the cop. Perhaps a name change IS in order. LOL Keep the sense of humor..... and your sobriety. Wanda
This world is going to the dogs I tell ya. Great story. Your neighbor is lucky you're not living in the "old days"! He have paybacks for one hell of a resentment. Good thing you're sober today of you might be facing some real charges. Btw what was in the file lol
Well, first off- before I get to it let me explain that I was a martial arts instructor for years here and on top of that there are a few guys around who like to pick a guy out of the crowd who is white, not too big and alone. On top of that it's a small town and I know about half of everyone, and on top of that I know pretty much ALL the old cops because they all trained with us. So anyhow- I was at a pub with a buddy of mine having a few beers and these guys pick me out of the crowd. My ex-wife and I years ago came to the conclusion that I'm a psycho magnet. Historically if someone was looking for trouble they'd pick me out of a crowded room and try to start some trouble. Trouble is as a young guy I really didn't mind trouble, liked to fight to the point that I'd be laughing and making jokes unless they really posed a serious challenge- and even then one time four guys grabbed me and dragged me out of a bar and I was laughing at them and asking them how many Polynesians it takes to beat the crap out of your average white guy (that wasn't the exact words, but for brevity's sake- I believe the words "Scotch-Irish" and "Haole" were used, among a couple good natured expletives.)
Anyhow- these guys were eyeballing me and My buddy and I decided to split and head on home. I know pretty much all the bouncers here as it's a small town and they all practice martial arts and my friend Dave was working the door and he stops me and asks me if I had noticed the guys giving me the long look and I said yeah- no worries. He suggests we leave and my mischievous side gets the better of me and I glance over at the three of them sitting there, all 750 pounds of polynesien pride, and I laughingly remark, "Ah Dave- I'm pretty sure I can take 'em." He laughs and says he doesn't care who can take who but he'd rather it didn't happen while he's working. We laugh and say goodbye and are out the door. We get up to the parking lot and these meatheads have snuck out after us and are coming up to the parking lot behind us. My buddy doesn't fight at all really- just if he's cornered- and these days I prefer to avoid it as I have a bad knee and I'm getting a little old for that stuff. But the guys walk by and call me a "F*ckin' Haole" and I laugh and asked them if they're proud to be portagee. Around here that sets some of these boys off, and the bully of the bunch got in my face and got one swing in before the cops pulled up. My friend Dave the bouncer had seen them leave and called in the calvary.
Anyhow- we have a bunch of new young cops here because the town has been growing and a lot of the old cops are retiring, and the new cops are coming from Oahu where they have some real race issues. So the cops are going to arrest me for assaulting these three giant hawaiian Portagee guys and I just start laughing and ask the cops if they're going to arrest me for assaulting the one guy's fist with my head- and why- because I'm a white guy? I ask them which of the three are their cousin. The cops are unamused and start giving me a ration of sh!t so I tell them to arrest me and do paperwork all night so I can have my attorney get me out in minutes as whatever charge they try to pin on me wont stick- it's complete rubbish. I didn't do anything wrong except taunt a few meatheads who were dead set on trouble anyhow. So I gave the cops my I.D. and am still laughing- my friend is as white as a sheet and begging me to shut up. So I ask the cops weren't theyt at Junior ROTC last year up at the high school and a couple other hilarious smart ass questions. I never told them that I know their captain and the captain in the next district, and a lot of their senior officers- I don't like to do that as it could cast a bad light on those guys and plus it just wasn't necessary.
eventually they have to let me go. Turns out Meathead numero Uno is a cousin of a guy I practice Jiu Jitsu with. When I told him the story he just nodded and said his cousin is always pulling that stunt, trying to beat some poor guy up who's ill equipped to defend himself. It's a wierd Island boy thing. Some guys are the biggest sweethearts and some are the biggest sociopaths. Go figure.
Anyhow- I'm sitting at the cop-shop and they're filling out my stuff on the computer and some of the cops I know are giving me a hard time for getting a bench warrant and I notice two little files down at the bottom of the screen by my info and I'm intrigued to see what it says. So we open it up and the one is that story and at the bottom it says, "Subject was extremely uncooperative". We had a laugh about that- I'm a business owner and a pretty good guy- I've coached kids Hawaiian outrigger canoe paddling and martial arts, etc... The guys at the station know me and I'd already told one of them- after that incident- that their new guys need some lessons on PR and need to keep their racial Bias over on Oahu. Anyhow- all in all it was pretty lightweight. The other file was when a guy I let live in my spare room for a couple months came home drunk and was an abusive ass and I kicked him out shortly thereafter. I had to go away on business and I told him that I wanted him gone when I came back and wanted my house and it's contents left unmolested. When I came back he'd taken a bit of stuff- CDs and DVDs, some books- and he'd shoved a couple door knobs into the walls and he'd dinged up one of my surfboards pretty bad. I gave him a call and left him a message saying I'd like to see that stuff returned and I repaired the damage to the walls and my board and I just let it ride. But I heard he was talking a lot of trash and still I didn't care- I was keeping my nose clean. Long story short we ran into each other downtown and we'd both been drinking and we had the be-all end all Clash of the Titans meets gladiator trip outside of an upscale sushi bar- my party was leaving and his party was just arriving- and it all happened very quickly. As soon as it started the entire restaurant came pouring out except for the guy I practice Jiu Jitsu with from the first story- he saw me leave and knew about what was happening- I'd stopped by his table to say hello on the way out and he'd been sitting there with a pretty girl and I guess he wasn't really interested in what we were doing. Anyhow- he told me he could hear it but he and the girl just sat there laughing at the absurdity of it and sipping their wine. Anyhow after a minute we're both bleeding- me from a cut over my right eye from his knee and he from his nose which was pretty well broken- and the funniest thing- we're both squared off and these people- the "ALOHA PATROL" they come running up squealing at us that they've called the police- and they are just such a joke in the culture of fighting that goes on here that we're both just looking each other in the eye and shuffling a little in a circle and when we hear their melodramatic cries of having called the police we both cant help but start laughing. I turn to these people and say, "Geez- this is what we do for fun!" and we walk off up the alley and get out of there. The other guy- he and his party (all guys I know) walked in and sat down at the bar and ordered drinks as if nothing had even happened.
Funniest thing is that guy wasn't the one who took all that stuff and put the holes in the walls- it was another guy that hung around us at that time, and he and a couple loser friends of his came around while the other guy was moving out of my house. And that guy- the one I was fighting with- he and I are actually pretty good friends to this day.
I suppose normal people might not find any humor in any of that, now that I have it all down in writing there. I have sort of a twisted sense of propriety. I think maybe I see things kind of 10 degrees off center or something. But I find that lots of AAs and NAs tend to have something like that, in their own way. Kind of like things got really extreme and it's kind of difficult to take the day to day bullsh!t of everyday life seriously anymore. Anyhow- whatever- that's a story. Ciao- Toby
For the last two afternoons and evenings I've been cleaning out my office storage closet, cleaning my office, boxing up the extraneous crap that accumulates in my life and stowing it deeper in the recesses of the under-my-house place where stuff goes for all of eternity. Ten years of tax paperwork and receipts, invoices, etc... It was a funny sort of taking inventory of my life- judgement by all the junk I accumulated over the past five or seven years or so. A little depressing. I found some journals tucked way up on a shelf- writing from right before I got divorced and right after when I was totally on my own for the first time since I was seventeen. Writing from a time when I got my heart just terminally broken- pitiful stuff. I found my daughters elementary school stuff- paintings and pictures and creative writing and homework. She's all big now and that made me a little sad (she's 16 and just started college- began school at 4 1/2 and then skipped a year. Gotta love her- punk rock honor student. Serious.) I found a note from her in a little box she made, The note said: "Daddy- do you like X files? I think you're hansum." Gotta love it.
My office is almost clean- tomorrow I finish the office after work and begin on the laundry room. I need to empty the laundry room because it's bare studs and I need to sheetrock it as I have the cabinets sitting in the dark recesses of the under-the-house place waiting to be installed. This is my last big hurrah before I start a project an hour away and will have two hours less time every day to do stuff like this. Also I'd like to have my affairs in order should the GF actually leave. I also think it'd be wise for me to be the one who files for custody, just to show initiative and intent and that I actually have my ducks in a row. Fricken ducks- I try and try to keep them in a row but as soon as you turn your back on them they're wandering off every which way. A.D.D. ducks.
I organized all my receipts and found a ton for stuff I bought baby-boy- Couple cribs (one for my house and one for the mom's condo) and baby baths and a bunk bed and mattress and a fricken truckload of toys. Clothes. Hospital visits. A million snacks at borders and this fish and chips place where we go to get shave ice and wherever. Mountains of paperwork dealt with in one fell swoop.
I miss the baby boy though. Tried to call but didn't get through to anyone. Not the most stellar sign. But whatever- They're supposed to be back in a week and I'll spend a couple days before I start that new project making up for lost time. Beach time is the best quality kid time ever.
Great story Toby. Us AA's lead very colorful lives. Most of the movies people pay to see are about us, one way or the other if you stop and think about it. I had a room mate of mine that used to fight in the PKA. I lived in northern Va, and he fought for Jhoon Rhee at the Falls Church ring. I attended a number of world title fights, we're talking late 70's early 80's, ESPN filming and Bill "Superfoot" Wallace commentating. I had several conversations with him before and after. Fun times.
I had a lot of "brushes" with the law as teenager. I straightened up considerably at 18, but still got arrested 4-5 times for drunk in public and twice for DUI. My attorney beat both of those unfortunately I kept on drinking.
Nowadays I've got friends that are Leo's that I ride dirt bikes with and down at the firing range (which belongs to them). It's nice to be a law abiding citizen these days. Nice lookin boy btw. I hope the situation works out for the best. A boy needs his dad. I got sober when my boy was two, now he's starting his 3rd year of college. It goes by so fast.
Oh yeah it'll be fine. I have to go to court the 13th and explain that I'm just kind of scattered right now- running a company and raising a three year old and remodeling my house- and the court date just fell through the cracks.
Jhoon Rhee is the best- he was the biggest game in town back then, solely for the love of it. He's also the guy that got Joe Lewis involved way back, when Joe got out of the Army.
Did I mention I was a Leo? Yeah- we're all over the map- extremes. Kinda hard to find a center and stay there.
We found some video tapes in Rhee's office of Chuck Norris in the 60's sparring with Bruce Lee. Rhee tried to get Bruce Lee to compete in the world title events back then but Lee wasn't interested. Of course Norris was never beaten and retired his championship undefeated. It's too bad that Lee wouldn't fight Norris, but down deep I think he new that he could lose to Norris and Lee wasn't interested in gambling for a loss thus he preserved his mystique for eternity except with Norris fans like myself lol. Btw, when I said "Leo" I meant Law Enforcement Officer. But I do have a very successful friend who is a leo by birth. His business makes him 7 figures per year.
take it easy and enjoy your little guy. I miss mine, he's "mr. big college guy" now and won't return my phone calls lol. I guess I'm gona have to show up on his door step and give him an attitude ajustment!
Yeah- my daughter is in college- her first year this year. She returns my calls but between school and surfing she's not on the phone very much.
I grew up with a kid who's dad used to spar with Chuck Norris a lot back then. Those guys were amazing back then- the stand up game was so much less strategy and more actual sparring ability. Plus the advent of Brazillian Jiu Jitsu has changed all of it so much.
And then there's the enormous lack of class and respect amongst the common fighters these days. I liked it better when fighters were class acts, when the bulk of the fighters held the old traditions of respect and honor in a different place. . Now so many of them are a cross between a rap star and a WWF wrestler. Sad.
We still have Randy Coutoure, though. He seems like he hangs on to that old school stuff.
I know what you mean. I watched the first couple UFC events back in '93 when Hoyce Gracey was dominent. He's all class and really non-violent. I watched him loose recently to a hybrid type that actually out wrestled him. The guy was 15 years younger. He couldn't have beat Hoyce in his prime I don't think. It's anything goes now is a circus act. the UFC and others should clean it up. Did you ever see Bill Wallace fight? btw what Island are you on?
Hawaii- Big Island. I only saw video of Superfoot.
Sakuraba was that guy for a while. He took down the three Gracies that counted at the time and did it with the utmost respect. It's pretty much time for Japan to produce someone else like that.
I've had the good fortune to get to train and hang out a bit with Relson Gracie and that crew. Really good people- pretty much the whole family and their entourage- very high standards as to how you act out and about. Thats pretty refreshing after training groundfighting for so long and having walk-ins constantly coming in to show us how much they know.
Funny story. Relson's sister taught my daughter's modeling class way back, only I didn't know she was a gracie (there are a lot of Brazillians in Hawaii). She see's I'm wearing a Ralph Gracie shirt one and asks me if I train. I tell her yeah- I teach kickboxing and train Jiu Jitsu on the side. She mentions that her husband and brother have a studio on Oahu and if I ever wanted them to come do a seminar to just ask. The gears in my brain are turning as I know she's Brazillian and so I ask her which academy is her Brother's. She just smiles and says "Oh- the GRacie Academy".
Needless to say we had them over. And then they came back to stay, a trifecta of Relson's academy on Oahu, Bruno E's academy on Kauai and my friend Kimo's academy here. They do pretty well at the pan am's for such small schools- a lot of talent in the islands. These boys just like to fight. The Jiu Jitsu kind of tempers that- The gracies don't like street fighting for no reason (though all of the gracies have been known to do some pretty radical stuff out and about, but well that's a judgement call or something. Those guys have some great stories.
Relson and Daniel Morais last year here in Kona (below). They're super careful about video and pictures as the Brazillian Jiu Jitsu world tends to be like the Enquirer- people taking photos and slandering each other, taking video and trying to steal training secrets. So I feel pretty lucky that I get to shoot their stuff for them when they're here. (Plus I'm old and worn out and over with my martial arts days I think- but it's still really neat to get back on the mats for a bit in any capacity. I used to train 5-6 nights a week, usually two classes a night plus teaching sparring and grappling three nights a week. It was a very good time for me, but it ended when I got divorced 6 years ago. My knees are shot and I hesitate to get back in there but really I miss my mat time. ) Relson Gracie and Daniel Morais.
Wow, you guys really do have great MA in your area. Are you in Hilo? Wife and I stayed in Kona a couple years ago. We really had a great time driving all around the island. did a little scuba diving, drove up to mauna kea (the honda passport 4wd barely made it).
One of my friends (on Ohau) from a football message board is just out of rehab and in a halfway house. I haven't spoken to him yet but will call him today. I think it's his first time around, he says he's happy, I'm hoping he stays. He's got a 3yo girl.
