There has been a question on my mind for a while now - it is concerning the celebration of A.A. birthday's. So here goes - Why do some people not want to celebrate their day? I mean it's an achievement of living a sober life for X number of years not to mention the fact that it shows new people coming in that we acknowledge you and the program for the time, effort, hard work that has been done and for the fact that you have stuck with it. If your anything like me I couldn't stick with anything for two months let alone two to thirty-one years. I do understand that there are people who don't like a big fuss made over them but if you look at it as a party where you didn't act/be silly, can remember everything that you did and others have the opportunity to say nice things about you, then why not - (everyone loves a party)! So is there anyone out there who could explain this strange but true concept to me? Later - Jeannie
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You only live once; but if you work it right, once is enough. There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.
In our area...birthdays used to be celebrated at 1..5..10..etc..with medallions..a lot of groups still go that route.
Others have got into the chip system plus... celebrating every year...
Individually? A lot of long timers have disappeared....or only show up..once and a while...they just carry on with life...some stay sober...some stay dry..
Ive seen some of those long timers go back out, and die from alcoholism..just because of the fact..they quit going to meetings...
Others hang in and continue to help...in any way that they can...
The first number of days...this kid...NEEDED those celebrations...the encouragement...and the love from others..that I was incapable of giving myself...after a while...that changed..
I still celebrate each year...the reason being...I like cake..:) and its great to see faces from the past that I havent seen before..and yes...to show the newcommer that periods of sobriety can be achieved...
I used to go to long timers birthdays..when I was new...and it was overwhelming...I couldnt fathom anyone being sober that long...it just seemed like a mountain too high to climb...but...one day at a time....it all adds up..
I used to also enjoy the attention....but dont crave that attention today...and just try to keep a low profile...and do the service work thing...and give back .. the rewards, are astounding...and we meet new faces from all over the place...
Ive been doing a lot of rambling here...
I guess the bottom line is...."To each their own" :)
Have a nice day...
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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
ok, here is my 2 cents worth, i dont take cakes. as far as i can see, the cake thing pumps up our already over-inflated egos. i maintaine that as far as my recovery goes, it is my "higher power" that keeps me sober. not me. and "god doesnt eat cake.
Cindy Your higher power keeps you sober - well - my higher power places the opportunity in front of me each and everyday of weather or not I will stay sober today or not - it is what I choose to do with that opportunity. I feel that we must work at it - not expect it to just happen for us. As for cake I didn't even mention cake. Phil - I agree with you about some of the long timers not being around anymore - but it is wonderful to see the long timers who are still around come out and show their support for the newer members. I guess that I am one of those kids who need the encouragement that I can stick to something and I still have some worth left. I guess in time it all wears off!?
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You only live once; but if you work it right, once is enough. There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.
At my Home Group we encourage everyone to write down their sobriety birthday in the birthday book and then, on their birthday, we all sign a card for them. Here in the UK we're not that good at handing out chips or medals, but a card is really great to receive and it helps to let the newcomers know that it really is possible to get and stay sober. There are one or two people who won't sign the book and I've no idea of how long they have been sober for. It's seems a little silly to me, but I guess that it's each to their own.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Jeannie, like Cindy I am cautious about giving any recognition to ego. When I turn myself over to my Higher Power each morning, then I attribute my sobriety to that HP. I haven't "celebrated" my b'day for atleast ten years. I do make a point of thanking my HP each and every day, morning and night, for keeping me sober, for guiding my thoughts. I share my sobriety with the ones I think it will help at meetings. The only real recognition I give to it is if I'm at my home group in California on that day. Otherwise, I still stick to the I've been sober since I woke up this morning, only by the grace of my HP. Phil mentioned cake.
Cindy, I hear some of the Old Ones like barley cake
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
.....and theres nothing like a big slab of carrott cake and icecream...
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+1 or key lime pie. I haven't had a individual celebration for a long time, but every year I go out to dinner with my sponsor (who has the same SD - 1 as I do) and our wives.
We will usually go to a AA club that has an end of month anni celebration for everyone that month. We each are suppose to get 5 min at the podium but if you've got more than15 years time runs out and all you can do is wave and say thankyou. Oh well I guess the younin's have more to talk about
(pssssst. Phil? Ok, I admit, I do put on the Doobie Brothers and do alot of dancing on that day. But since my SD is on the Summer Solstice, it sorta works together. It's all good.) hugs and hugs.
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
In our group, and most Ive been to, there is,nt any real party... We just have cake after the meeting, and we hand out medallions. Wether I thought it was cool to me our not, Id do it any how. Simply because it shows two things. One, we can have fun sober... and two, it give new commers hope to see it can be done. Our sobriety is a true gift. We should learn it's OK to reward ourselves ... Like the post above, we deserve healthy treats. And cake is healty... or um... good eats any how. :)
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My warranty on tomorrow has run out. My guarantee on the past is void. Nothing is going my way... and I like it like that.
In my group we have a guest speaker, then hand out medallions - people say nice things about you. Afrerwards there are munchies, (cheezies for Phil), coffee, carrot cake and wonderful fellowship. For some such as myself this is a party as compaired to our regular discussion group. I see it also as a break in the regular, routine meetings. There were faces that I had not seen for quite a while and it was a great joy to see them again. Yes Phil you are correct I had the honour and pleasure to celebrate two years along side of a gentleman of thirty-one years. Yes, this took place on Saturday (official day is Monday) and No there wasn't enough cake for everyone there let alone a doggie bag for you. It was a wonderful time had by all.
Later - Jeannie
p.s. thanks everyone for your views on this matter
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You only live once; but if you work it right, once is enough. There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.
What's all this about cake??? They don't do cake at the meetings I go to, but we do medallions, and I get one every year, though i do know some people who just won't -- a friend of mine explained to me that not only does he get his medallion for his anniversary at his home group, but he accepts it at all the meetings he goes to regularly so that the newcomer can see that it is possible, and the more meetings, the more newcomers can see that X amount of years is possible, therefore it's not an ego thing, it's not a "showoff" thing in the sense of an egotistical showoff, but a showoff in the sense of "hey look guys, I did it, this is how, you can too."
We have cakes at the meetings I go to...fortunately they also sell them at Safeway because if making it a year without taking a drink was the only way to get one I would never know the sugary sweetness of my dark mistress, the Black Forest Cake. Yuuuum!
It was a wonderful time had by all.
