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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> step 2
Post Info TOPIC: step 2
wantneeda


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step 2
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"came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity"

i went to a meeting last night that talked about this step.
a fellow shared that he needs to read what is in black and white...that it doesn't say.. came to believe IN a power greater than myself...therefore he needs have established an idea of that higher power in order to take this step. Another member shared that whenever someone says they know exactly what/who their higher power is he's skeptical, as for himself he just feels there is simply a higher power, he has no picture or pure definition. That he believes in all gods, i can relate to that.

For me on my first night of a treatment stay i had a strange dream...so i have a picture in mind.

so i had a revelation last night... and this is what i shared...

i've thought for a while now that my higher power became alcohol... in fact my first higher power so to speak were my parents... my first memory that i recall is of my dad leaving...when i was 3 years old... needless to say i no doubt have abandonment issues. I also remember laying in my bed and thinking about a god and the wonder and awe i felt thinking about the universe and the vastness of it. I didn't grow up with religion being part of my life just that inside wonder. Skip to years later when i first came to recovery and my first treatment visit I remember standing outside one night and looking up at the sky and being grateful. My revelation is this... if my first higher power so to speak abandoned me do i have a belief that any higher power i try to trust going to desert me?? I know looking back on my life that as soon as i felt someone getting to close to me i more often than not ran the other way. Protection right..

I also heard someone say their higher power is simply their concience.

I honestly for awhile thought i had no problem with this step until i wouldn't...i say wouldn't because i was stuck and saying couldn't would not be totally honest... start my step 4. So my sponsor suggested we step back. So be it. Follow suggestions right :)

through the years i just figured that my higher power, didn't have time for little ol me...wha wha...that i just wasn't important enough.. in fact that stems back to my first so called higher power. My question i guess then is...How do i get that trust.... that faith i need, cause simply saying i have that faith i believe is just lip service. For what i know about trust it is earned..that doesn't seem to fit here. I don't completely trust myself, i have more faith in myself than i used but i can't get too high on that horse..been there done that... scary.

i also know from experience that not practicing the steps to the best of my ability got me back out there. My recovery is too important to me today to not ask questions when i need to. Your imput is greatly appreciated.

love in recovery
Wendy

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Wren


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Well, I'd say you answered that question yourself. Following the steps to "the best of your ability". You can't ask any more of yourself than that.

If I didn't think my HP had time for me, then it wouldn't be my HP. When I"m going thru a stuck place, I look outside on a windy day. As I watch the limbs get blown off of trees I think "now THAT'S a power greater than myself". And I hang onto that until I rebalance. Being for the most part Pagan, and totally having no ties with organized religion, it's probably easier for me to do that than someone who is a Christian, Buddhist, or other religion. But it takes what it takes, and that works for me, and has for many years. Be easy on yourself. Step back and just allow it to happen.

I was a runner, too. I would call is "protection" but I finally realized that if someone was getting close to me, then that meant I had to possibly meet their expectations. Or worse yet, that they would get to know me and find out just how horrible I really was under that exterior show. It's when I realized that I was really okay, despite the "committee" in my head telling me otherwise, that I also realized there were some pretty ok things about me to like. When I trusted that, the rest just sort of followed...hug, Wren

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alligot


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Yep, i hear you and understand what you are saying through my own experience.

Read through what you have written again, this time looking for all the spiritual concepts you have applied :)

Be kind to yourself.

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timverton


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Hi Wendy!
Wellll...interesting post. If you've read the post by Snook below then you know where I'm heading with advice for a higher power. Our sun in our wonder-filled universe and all that is physically and scientifically related to life at its basics. That wondrous power. Even though you may have a problem with trusting people, I think you can trust that the sun is going to rise tomorrow morning. If it doesn't, we aren't going to be around long enough to get mad about it.
And you don't have to be an atheist to trust in that. Good fortune Wendy...Tim

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Sick of being sick


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I guess I will never be able to get beyond agnosticism, however, I am also probably a strong 'leaner' towards accpetance of the fact that there is a 'conscious force' within this universe.

I won't bore you with the lengthy dissertation of why I am scientifically inclined to believe this way, but will say that the "higher power" only has to be "as we understand it" to work for us.

I hope each of you has found that "higher power" which works for you.

Peace,
Dan

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Dave Harm


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The second step took me a long time. I was raised in a very strict religious church and went to a private school. The God I grew up with was a God of anger and fear and swift punishment.

He was also a God I hated. Through treatment I learned that I couldn't move forward until I had some kind of understanding of my Higher Power. The first thing I did was yell at God, slap Him, kick Him, and spit in His face. The God I knew growing up what no longer be a part of my life.

Organized religion left my life and a journey began. I studied the ancient mythologies, eastern thoughts, new age, as well as Native American. I did find a Higher Power of my understanding. I even named It. I say It because my Higher Power is both a He and a She. Others would call It - God. And in every respect it is. I would not give the God of my childhood a place in my sobriety. My Higher Power's first name is Love, middle name is Acceptance, and after all this time I'm still trying to find It's last name.



Creating dreams, from the nightmares of hell...

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"A busy mind is a sick mind.  A slow mind, is a healthy mind.  A still mind, is a divine mind." - Native American Centerness

Creating Dreams, from the nightmares of hell...
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