Hi everyone... I have a question... As I posted before I had my 6 months on Wed. Things are better than I have imagined in just 6 months... BUT I am missing something. I got my motivation and am back in school and have a much better relationship with my family and I know what I want to do with my life now (nursing). However, I don't have any emotion. I am either numb to the world or I get frustrated. I feel like this is all that I ever feel...Is this just because I am use to the heightened senses and emotions that come along with the bottle? I am not planning on picking up a drink or using drugs but I feel like if I am going to relapse then this will be the reason. Everyone is so happy with my life right now and they say how much I have changed and how it is great... so I figure it is because I am good at hiding things and/or I have just been numb! Geez I haven't even wanted sex since I became sober! I understand the whole sex thing but I had to throw that in there! I am just wondering if anyone has experienced this when they became sober... and does it get better? I just don't understand why I am so numb! HELP!!! Thankyou :) Jamie
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"Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't"
I'm Mike from Boston. I visit here occasionally. My experience was exactly the opposite. I had numbed myself for so long with Irish whiskey that I didn't feel anything while drinking. I was a zombie.
The feelings and emotions hit full force a few weeks into sobriety and that was when I started working the steps. Perhaps they could help you find your way out of the numbness? Just a suggestion. Mike
For me, it took quite a long time to get all of my emotions back. There was a time when I felt that I was missing something, too. But, looking back, I think that I was 'missing' the mood altering affects of alcohol and wasn't used to dealing with life without an artificial aid.
I also found that becoming as active in AA as I could and working the steps really helped. But, just hang in there and it will be fine.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I just wanted to share an excerpt with you and then comment a little.
"Anhedonia Written by Colin Brennan, medical journalist
Anhedonia is the inability to gain pleasure from enjoyable experiences.
It was first identified in the 19th century, but was largely ignored until the late 1980s in favour of more obvious depressive symptoms such as low mood, poor concentration, tiredness, disturbed appetite and sleep, and suicidal thoughts.
Anhedonia is now recognised as a core symptom of depression and research by the Institute of Psychiatry in London is throwing new light on the links between the brain and depressive illness.
Symptoms of anhedonia
People with anhedonia have an incredibly flat mood. They can't react properly or feel anything. There is no variation of mood, making it difficult to take things forward.
It is best described by examples. An anhedonic mother gains no joy from playing with her baby, a footballer isn't excited when he scores the winning goal, a teenager is left unmoved by passing her driving test.
Anhedonia places a great strain on relationships and is usually accompanied by a loss of sex drive. Anhedonia and depression
Depression affects one in every five people at some time in their lives and is a potentially fatal illness through suicide.
Depression can be triggered by a sad event like a bereavement, by a physical illness or by imbalances in brain chemistry.
Not everybody who has depression has anhedonia. While rare in mild depression, it can be a serious problem for people who are severely depressed.
Anhedonia can continue after depression, but usually it goes away at the same time.
Antidepressant medicines only partially deal with anhedonia symptoms."
I can totally relate to what you are saying, though I hit it about 3 years into sobriety.
For me, a LOT of it was undiagnosed clinical depression.
When I sat down and had a long talk with my physician, who was well-trained in addictions/alcoholism, he asked me if I had ever been depressed.
As I sat and thought back over my life, I well remember depression starting to sink in during my teen years, but after I left home, I spent so much time 'medicating' any feelings of discomfort, including depression, that it dawned on me I could very well have been depressed for years and didn't even know it!
Getting into some therapy was one of the best things that I have ever done for myself, and I've been in therapy more than once.
AA is still my primary source of recovery, but it's okay to reach out to other resources when we are having difficulties, such as the ones you just described.
I would highly recommend a good physical with your doctor, discussing it with him, and possibly seeking some therapy/counseling to supplement your recovery.
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"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguements and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
~Herbert Spencer
I was talking on the phone with a friend who is 16+ years of sobriety ......and she mention that same thing about filling emotions in early sobriety.....how come they never bring that up at meetings ..she mention about how she had stuff all them fillings and emotions all them years of drinking.
Got me thinking about how wen i sober up it took me about 1 1/2 to start filling ..and emotions....so it seems that normal for some .... What ever happens is a drink going to make it better ???? Also what'' Carol mention works for me anytime i struggle with my sobriety i throw myself into more AA ...more meetings ...calling more Alcoholics ...get into more service .....meet with my sponcer more .....make a gratitude list .... Congrats on coming up on 6 months sobriety ....you have help this Alcoholic Thanks..
Hi Jamie! I picked up something in your post. you say "Everyone is so happy with my life right now..." The question is: Are YOU?
I look at what you've posted...you've got your life together as you have never had before, from the sound of it. You want to become a nurse, to help others who are ailing. How noble and compassionate that is! (not to mention that the financial rewards are great too). You seem to have a clear vision of where you are and where you want to go in life. That is precious! Your relationships are on a fine level now (O.K., so you're not gettin' any right now, but that's by choice and there are MORE exciting things in life than sex!). Are YOU personally aware in your own mind and thoughts of just how good and fortunate a human being you are?...(((hugs)))...tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
If you continue to have a low-mood please seek Medical attention. Be honest with your Doctors. Never leave out that you have struggled with ALcoholism, drug addiction. They need to know that for your health benefit. Sometimes we find out that other things may be going on with us that have to do with our bodies. Harmones, chemical imbalances that are not our fault but some of us have not been used to because we were loaded when they started to happen. I am not a Doctor, therapist, or liscensed professional. However, I am a Recovered Alcoholic, Addict- with Co-occuring disorders. All Co-Occuring means is that I have an imbalance in my Moods and the Doctors have to watch and take care of it. Because I have been Blessed enough to have had a friend take me to the Hospital when I was really sick, I am doing fine now. THis was 7 years after I had been Sober, so please take your Sobriety time into account.
I used and drank from 13 until I was 38 years old. Not everyday, until the last couple of years with the ALcohol. But enough to where it destroyed alot of my Health.
"They say," it takes a good 10 years to get the alcohol out of your bones. I do think this is true. But it is Wonderful at any age that we get Sober, quit smoking, or using pot or drugs, caffeine, whatever, food.
"GOd Thank You" Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. Amen Amen and Amen
