My name is Mike, an alcoholic who has been associated with treatment programs since 1985. May 12, 2007 was a typical crisis event that led me to "in-patient" treatment for the first time. The difference between the past and the present is that (1) this is the longest I've been sober since 1982 and that (2) I've come to the full realization that I have everything to lose, and care. The "care" element (loosing kids, job, wife, house, life,... someone else's life) is the only thing keeping me sober right now... Fear Factor.
I work at a fire department, so the 24 hours on-duty keeps me safe, but also prevents the ability to attend an AA meeting.
I need a meeting right now. 90 days of sobriety is comming up next week but it has been pure hell since leaving treatment. Dry drunk. I never liked anger or dealing with issues that make me angry: I'm struggling with accepting life on life's terms without the use of a depressant.
I work every third day so I'll be back and pull up the favorite's list when I'm in the station.
Ill spend some time reading your posts now.
M.
I do have a question though. Do you attribute the birthday to the last day that you drink, or is the the day after?
Welcome to MIP. It's a great place for me to be and it adds so much quality to my sobriety. There are some wonderful, friendly and helpful people here on this board.
Well done on your upcoming 90 days sobriety. That will be a super achievement. But, I'm so sorry that it isn't going as smoothly as you would like right now. Please hang in there because it really does get better. I wish that I could somehow show you just how good life can be without alcohol in it.
I wonder if you have a sponsor and if you are working the steps yet. I know, for this alcoholic, I couldn't have remained sober for almost eighteen months without the help and guidance I get from my sponsor and working the steps.
One super thing about the fellowship is that I know that I am not on my own. I have so many 'phone numbers of other recovering alcoholics that I can always pick up the 'phone if I'm not having such a great day. That really does help me. I had to learn to reach out to other people, but I am so glad that I did.
I do hope that you'll stay around and keep posting. Please let us know how it is going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I sincerely welcome you to MIP, Mike. Congrats on 90 days!!!!
Early in my sobriety, I never thought I would make it, either - it was hell, but I stuck with it and followed the advice of others and got to where I am now (two years, next week). I honestly thought that all fun and happiness would be gone with the drinking, but have found out otherwise. Life finally got good, REAL good in sobriety. I was numbing myself with drink - never fully experiencing what life really has to offer. Now my "fear factor" is what I would LOSE if I pick up that drink, and not fear of the drink itself so much anymore - what I gained is THAT sweet.
So, the miracle really DOES happen - if you work it. I was skeptical, but have found it to be true, and wonderful!
These were things I did to make it through those first rough months:
1. Attended as many AA meetings as I could - the proverbial 90 in 90 days.
2. When I could not make face to face meetings, I attended on line - not a full fledged substitute, but better than none.
3. Read the Big Book, and oodles of other AA lit - "Living Sober" was particularly helpful to me, early on.
4. Got a sponsor and did the step work with her.
5. Called people when it got tough.
6. Prayed (or called on what "higher power" worked for me) - especially helpful during those darned craves.
7. Substituted other activities for drinking: movies (LOTs of DVD rentals!), recovery chat rooms, alternative beverages (I ended up preferring herbal teas and the like).
To name a few.
Hang in there - the prize is worth the sweat and effort, trust me!
its not an easy road, but a happier one i came clean a few months ago on my recovery date, i am a drug addict as well as an alcoholic. I figured if i wasn't doing my drug of choice i could maintain my sober date... i carried that load for a few months till i got completely honest, with myslef first then the fellowship, what a load off!! my sober date went from nov 10 to dec 28. I drank on the 27th so i am now clean and sober since the 28th. How i figure it anyways. I guess its whatever works for you.
great big hugs to you for your sober time keep on keepin on Wendy
I understand about the fear ...keeping me sober for awile ...what i did was get phone # ...sponcer ...what other have chared .....the first word in the first step is WE...i found out i cant do this by myself ..now to answer your question from my view .....i started my sobriety date the next day after last drink .......ODAAT...Good luck to you
Hi Mike! I'm Tim, alcoholic. What you are going through isn't easy for anyone, but we've all been there. I had been trying to get and stay sober for more than a decade. I bounced in and out of the AA program...until I found this web site! This place and the wonderful people/friends here have been a saving grace to me more than they may ever know. At first I would drop in here every chance I had during the day or night;...Basically whenever I had even the slightest inclination to have a drink, and the people... the inspirational postings, the stories of personal hell experiences, all worked in my mind to help me say "I just don't want my life to be like that anymore." Now, just shy of a year sober, I feel as though my time "playing" with alcohol is over. Kind of like after I married and had the first child, my time for "playing" with smoke/marijuana was over. Now I feel as though I just have no place for drinking and the costs it carries in my life....No more, it's in my past.
This site and these friends have always been here for me when I needed some encouragement and fortitude to continue. We can all be for you as well. Just make up your mind for sure and final that you want to live and experience all that life has to offer and be sober doing it. The first days/weeks may be difficult, but they pass, and it gets easier. I wish you good fortune...Tim
__________________
"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
We have a fellow here in AA just coming up on 9 months, and after steady day shift work, which allowed him to attend meetings in the evenings, they switched his shift.
Initially he applied for a different job with the city (he currently works for the city power plant) which would allow him to continue meetings.
The folks in charge of the power plant went to talk to him as they were puzzled why he wanted to switch jobs/shifts. They were extremely pleased with his work, and he was happy with that particular job.
He was very honest with them and told them that the new shift change would negate him being able to attend meetings, and that meetings were important to him as a recovering alcoholic.
They then asked what nights the meetings were, and okayed his leaving for an hour or so on those nights for meetings.
It all worked out, and he feels pretty darned good that he is a valued employee these days, AND his employers were more than willing to accomodate his meeting schedules.
__________________
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguements and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
~Herbert Spencer
