Hi everyone, I am new on this forum. I am also new to realising that I am an alcholic. Its hard to say that!
I want to stop drinking and often manage a couple of days but not more. If anyone has any strategies that have helped you when you first decided to quit I would appreciate your comments.
Welcome to MIP Clara. This is a wonderful support group, especially when coupled with AA meetings.
I have never had a strategy, per se. Staying sober is a One day at a time, work the program experience for me. If I strategize, that means I'm probably projecting, "planning in advance", and for me, that a good way to set myself up for failure. Instead, I greet the day with asking my Higher Power to help me stay sober, just for this day. Meetings, support from other AA members, a sponsor for guidance, and working the twelve steps make this so much easier.
Sobriety, for me, is more a journey than a destination--no matter what, I just don't drink behind it. Whatever's going on will only get worse if I drink, and eventually I'll have to deal with it anyway. So be gentle with yourself, release yourself from any expectations, and just take it a day, an hour, a minute at a time, trusting that you're right where you should be at any given time. Keep coming back, be blessed, Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Hi Clara and welcome! Strategies? I, like you, tried to make up my mind to quit many times. I believe that I finally came to the resolution that I no longer want to be "under the influence" at any time...not in the least. The things I have done and said while drinking I no longer want in my life. The things I didn't do...take better care of myself (self-respect), my hobby has me working with machinery and I can't/won't do that while I'm drinking..so I lose my artistic self expression. I have just learned to LOVE life without the altered state of mind that alcohol and other drugs put me in. I have come to love and treasure sobriety. I hope this can help you find the same attitude also.
Try going to AA meetings and get a sponsor to help guide you. Good fortune...Tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
Welcome to MIP. It's a wonderful place to be and it adds so much strength and a lovely quality to my sobriety.
I remember finding it so hard to admit that I was an alcoholic, but it does get easier and life gets better beyond our wildest dreams.
For me, I couldn't have stayed sober without AA and attending regular meetings. I gained so much strength, support and made some wonderful friendships. Also, I refused to allow myself to think outside of the day. I can do many things one day at a time that I couldn't keep up for sustained periods.
Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Welcome to the "family", Clara! It takes guts to take that first step, as we well know.
No real strategy, that I can recommend. In my early days, I:
1. Went to lots of face to face meetings - pretty much daily 2. Read the Big Book, in its entirety. I also found AAs "Living Sober" a big help. 3. Got a sponsor and worked the steps 4. Asked "Higher Power" for help through each craving 5. Called other AAs when the going got rough 6. Ate more sweets (within reason), including chocolate - at least for that 1st month 7. Found tasty beverage substitutes, to entertain my suffering tastebuds (herb teas, seltzers) 8. Rented lots of DVDs to pass the time (that I was much more aware of, sober).
At first I thought I was giving up a lot, but it turned out that I was not giving up anything but a lame life-robbing habit. I have gained so much more than I ever would have believed then! Sobriety is living; drunken numbness is missing out on life.
The first thing I did was go to my family physician....in all my withdrawal glory and showed him what I was like when I didn't have it in my system. That helped him determine if or what I needed to get my health back in check.
THEN....I went to AA meetings ALL THE TIME. Now mind you....I am only on day 27 or sobriety, but I am taking this seriously. I see some at meeting text messaging people while others are talking, and some go just because they have to.
First meeting is not as hard as everyone says...at least it wasn't to me. Maybe because I knew for sure that I was and am an alcoholic.
You will love the diversity of the people you meet, and it is like another family.
Great you have come on to the forum. I am also recently new to the forum and , yes it is hard to say your a alcohlic especially the first time. Each time will get easier from now on.
Today is only Day 16 for me, though, as stated above, I am another who decided that I simply could not tolerate being under the influence anymore, and yet could not stop at one. Given that, I did not have a hard time walking into the first AA meeting and admitting my problem. I already have a sponsor who I call on a more regular basis than I ever drank. I do not attend meetings everyday, as my work and gym schedules prevent me, but I get something positive out of every single one I attend.
I don't know that I suffer from cravings as much as some people do, but I can give two pieces of advice, as a fellow newcomer:
(1) If you ever had the power to abstain for a day, even if before it was a justification to prove that you were not an alcoholic (you now know that to be false, but use to it your power), then convince yourself each day that today is one of those days when you are just not drinking;
(2) Whether or not the first suggestion works, write down your drinking history. Start with the first drink ever, and go through your life, how it accelerated, and the things that have happened to you as a result. Even if you thought you had never hit a bottom (as I never thought I had), you will come to realize that by the time you admitted you had a problem, you had already ignored several red flags. I am in the middle of writing my history, which is long, despite the fact that I am only 30 years old (being an attorney means that I write too much all the time). However, I find the process to be very cathartic.
I would, by the way, like to thank my sponsor for the second suggestion.
Also, if you are able, start or increase exercise. Physical activity can be incredibly rewarding, especially if you were missing out due to intoxication or hangovers.
I have now been to two AA meetings (Wed and Thurs nights) and will be going back for sure. They are a great bunch; the people I have met at AA. There is serious time for sharing with some much needed sense of humour mixed in. AA meetings are very different from what I had imagined!
Sorry I have not replied before, been busy with work, meetings and getting ready for my daughter's 16th birthday party - tomorrow night Also I did not realise the replies were going to my junk mailbox but I have now put this forum on my safe list.
The party will be a test for me as adults are also coming and there will be alcohol !!! I am also a nervous party hostess. So... well I will keep putting off and putting off the moment of having the first drink. Feel oh, think I will fail.
However, I have managed so far three days this week without a drink - this is one day more than I have managed for years. This gives me a tiny spark of confidence.
