Last Tuesday I turned 52 but today the 23th I turned 11. In some ways it seems like yesterday and in others it seems like a lifetime ago. I'd been trying off and on to quit by my on will for quite awhile and on July 14th I had my last drunk, on the 18th I had my last drink a bottle of Bass Ale and I knew that I needed outside help. I didn't know anything about recovery really, I felt that AA was something old drunks from back in the depression came up with. I was looking for an easier softer way and I thought modern science could help me. There was a outpatient treatment center near where i used to live so on the afternoon of the 23th I went there. They accepted me and told me I would be able to start in about a month. While I was waiting I could attend their weekly drug education class, which was free and opened to the public and met that very night. That very evening a friend came buy and pulled out the pipe and I smoked for the last time, after he left I realized I couldn't say no to the first drink/drug. Well I white knuckled it through to the next week and went to the drug education class and met my future counselor Jack. That enabled me to make it the next 4 weeks till I got in the program proper. When I got there I learned that besides their sessions that I had to attend 12 step meetings. I was one of the lucky ones I liked going to meetings, I felt from my first meeting that this was the place where I could make my stand and I didn't feel like a square peg in a round hole like I did among normies. I didn't then and I don't now work a textbook program. I've seen people blossom, I've seen them go back out and I've seen them die. I don't know why I made it and others didn't except when I got here I felt like I was done and I still feel that way, getting high holds no illusions for me. I've been there done that have the scars inside and out to prove it. The one thing I have learned is that it's easier to stay here then it is to get here and if you leave here you might never find your way back here. So I'm staying, one day at a time. Thank you all for being part of my recovery today. Bob.
-- Edited by cooncatbob at 18:27, 2007-07-24
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Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
Wow Bob... Thanks for sharing! 11 years is a lot of days... congrats to you and thankyou for your story... it actually helped with some things I am dealing with right now... thanks for the inspiration! Glad you are here to tell it to us... one day at a time... Jamie
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"Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't"
Hi Bob, Learned yesterday that the deceased 21yr found Fri. was a young man who used to live in my hometown. Had battled with alcohol and drugs (and authorities, as well) for sometime. Cause of death unofficially (rumor) was prescription drugs. It is soooo sad that he had many advantages yet he turned his back on them. His mom is such a nice person and I can't even imagine what she must be going through at this time. Why you ask do some make it? It is as baffling as the disease of alcoholism/addiction. It is truly awesome that you have achieved 11 yrs. Yours, may be the very story that will touch a heart and save a life. Sobriety surely has brought you gifts that you may not have received had you chosen to continue in the opposite direction. May the lessons you learned be of benefit/example to others. Wishing you well as you continue on your journey! Congrats!!!!! Wanda
Double the happiness, Bob. Wonderful on the eleven years, and at your age you've so much of the journey to go. So many don't find it until they've lost so many many years from their lives. Gratitude for all these blessings, eh? And youth to boot...a big hug, Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Congratulations Bob on your long strange trip ( i like that ) tis indeed a strange trip and i like you feel blessed to be here :) So so so many don't make it and for a relatively young women i have been to far far too many funerals.
I dunno..........is there a 'text book' program I too was so beat when i got here and hung around because i felt i didn't have a relapse in me. Now don't have the desire,sometimes think getting high would be okay, know it wouldn't stop there and simply could not go through that all again
I too was so beat when i got here and hung around because i felt i didn't have a relapse in me. Now don't have the desire,sometimes think getting high would be okay, know it wouldn't stop there and simply could not go through that all again 