I'm doing fine, been a little busy but keeping myself from that negative thinking, surrounding the aniversaries of my parents death. But I guess in do time it gets easier to deal with.
My daughters been away quite a bit since schools been out, she's on her second week of camp, and my son has been up for a week already, and things seem to be going well.
I read in another post in regards to trust and well, guess I'll have to take one at a time with my son, we are taking in slow and our relationship is going well for the better.
He's talking about moving back up this way and helping mom, I explained to him since he's came into some money that he needs to learn to take care of him first before he decides he's ready to help someone else out first.
I also told him that i do appreciate the offer, he expressed that he wanted to do this to help him feel better, (help me finanicially to move), I than informed that if he really wanted to that we could discuss it further, but for now to keep up with his schooling and councillin down in toronto. And than in a couple of months we'll discuss it further.
I'm not sure weather that was the right to say, but I guess it is the right thing for now, he is uncertain that being that distace from me and his sister is what he really wants.
I know that right now I have to deal with coming to some closures with personal things for myself before I can make a right decision to move or to discuss him movin back in with me, all I know for sure right now is that he's not quite ready to be on his own and I'm not sure I'm ready to have him move back in quite yet. Is this wrong to feel like this as a parent considering what'd I've shared in my post in the past few months in regards to my son!!!
I'm sure that with in time our relationship will continue to grow, and slowly making progress with that. Guess I'm just feeling a little uncertain and been to a couple of meetings, I guess it's time to stop being so hard on myself as a parent, individual and allow things to happen slowly and that my higher power set things in motion to let things be where they may.
Hi Tina, I can sort of relate. My daughter had her baby on July 12th. She had moved in with her boyfriend only a month and half before that. Though it was suggested that she was more than welcomed to remain with me, I left the desicion up to her. (Financially it would have helped her and between the two places there was enough room that even her boyfriend could have come.) I understand in a way that they wanted their own "domain", yet as a parent that little gnawing feeling was there. I had to "let go". Funny throughout those few short weeks, she would show up on my door step sometimes late, usually weekends. She always had some ligitimate excuse. LOL In reality, the late hours of socializing were wearing her down. She would no more and be in the door and she would get drowsy..... "I think I call and tell him I'm staying overnight. I'm soooo tired and don't feel like making the drive." Of course, seeing her that way, I agreed it was the safe thing to do. The day of birth, I got the call at midnight....."(Some details) ......do you think I should go?" Another call at 3:00am....."keeping her." She had told me she WANTED me there. It was so awesome to be a part of it. Yet I only stayed long enough for everyone to be "settled" (about 1 hr.) then left. Decided it was time to give them space. I refrained from showing up until late on the day they came home. Took some food, grab the laundry, and made myself oblivious doing chores. I've stopped only once to grab some laundry and leave. It has came as a BIG surprise that I only took off work for the birth and that I have not been there every waking day. While my heart aches to hold that little one, it also knows that I must let go. They will have to work this all out on their own and adjust to the responsibilities of taking care of that little one....the best way they know how. While I will not abandon my daughter if she REALLY needs me.....she has made certain choices of which she must cope with. It is hard knowing what to do at times. We see their mistakes and want to rescue them. That is the heart of a parent. Yet at times, the head has to overrule the heart......for their own good.......and we can only pray and hope for them things will be okay. Love doth have many faces. Keeping you in thoughts and prayers that you will be able to cope graciously with the aniversaries. It seems the move to Toronto has had its benefits. May your relationship with your son continue to grow in loving ways. Wanda
Thanks to both of you for sharing your ES&H. Although both of you have struggles, it is all very uplifting in how you are thinking about things, praying, and caring for others while taking care of yourselves. They are all messages I need to hear right now!
